Sommaire pour April 2013 de Reader's Digest

The older woman, Elaine, stands under me, waiting for the younger woman to arrive and take the keys. She wears her ruby scarf, the one she wears when she’s tired. She’s been up all night moving out her family’s things. I listen. “Thirty years in this home,” Elaine tells the younger woman, her voice cracking. “We raised our two daughters here. It’s even harder to say goodbye than I’d expected.” Elaine is happy the buyers are another young family, with two daughters. She’s told the younger couple about me. I’m special. I’m a 250-year-old American elm, and I’ve watched lives play out here since the house was built near me in 1923. Starting in the 1930s, a blight killed all my cousins on this street—and in most of America. Tree…

“You’re Not Going to Get Her!” It had been a particularly rainy summer in quiet Lake County, Florida. The water level had risen in two ponds nestled among large green lawns in The Villages, a retirement community where Steve Gustafson and his wife, Regina, lived, and the reeds and brush had grown thick along the water. As he had done often since retiring from corporate law 12 years ago, Gustafson, 66, went outside to do yard work one afternoon last September. His nine-year-old West Highland white terrier, Bounce, romped nearby. Suddenly, Gustafson was startled by a terrifying sound. “I heard a scream from Bounce—just bloodcurdling,” he says. “I ran down the hill and saw Bounce in the mouth of an alligator. It was headed right to the water.” The little…

• from Wired Your head hurts: DRINK COFFEE Caffeine improves the absorption of pain relievers, so pair an espresso with an analgesic like aspirin to treat a headache. You want to run faster: DRINK COFFEE Caffeine boosts endurance and speed; estimates put performance gains at 1 to 3 percent. A 170-pound man will need about a cup and a half of coffee one hour before a race. You must ace a test: TAKE A NAP An hour-long nap “can be as good as a whole night of sleep in terms of storing information,” says William Fishbein, PhD, a psychologist and neuroscientist at the City University of New York. You’re grumpy and sleep-deprived: DRINK COFFEE AND TAKE A NAP Both coffee and naps can improve mood individually; combined, they’re magical. Swill…

When you see someone yawn, you’re likely to yawn too. It turns out that seeing someone scratch an itch can also be filed under “social contagion.” British researchers at the University of Hull did MRI scans on people while they watched either a video of someone scratching or a video of someone tapping her arm or chest. Two thirds of those who saw the scratching video scratched themselves. Susceptibility to socially contagious itching may indicate neuroticism, researchers found. Moreneurotic people, who tend to experience negative emotions, may not be as good at suppressing the urge to itch when they see someone else scratching.…

Sneaky ingredients hide among those leafy greens: Thick vinaigrette, dried cranberries, candied walnuts, and a blanket of blue cheese are the caloric equivalent of eating a snack bag of potato chips, one slice of pizza, two string cheeses, and a doughnut! DO IT BETTER: Go for a heavy-on-the-greens salad with colorful vegetables, lean protein, a little dressing, and toppings like water chestnuts and hearts of palm. You see green and assume you’re getting spinach in a thin wrap that has fewer calories than bread. But that green hue comes from a very small dash (2 percent) of spinach powder mixed with food coloring, and the wrap has as many carbs as three slices of bread. Amount of actual veggies: pitiful. DO IT BETTER: Top wholegrain toast with spinach, tomato, avocado,…

1 Savvy social networking Blogasana Bow Pose provides relief from your practically permanent laptop hunchback. Hold the position for 10 to 30 seconds, then switch sides. 2 Deep breathing on conference call Callasana Mountain Pose improves breathing and focus during high-stress moments. Feel your feet on the floor, and take deep breaths. 3 Still working in bed Pajamasana Plow Pose stretches the back, waking up your spine. Lie on your back and bring your legs straight up in the air and over your head until your toes touch the bed. 4 Late-night deadline Exhaustasana Child’s Pose relieves tension in the back and shoulders when you’re still up at 3 a.m. writing a memo. Remember to hold this pose until you start Final Savasana and/or sleep.…

Kids inherit their vertical identities—ethnicity, nationality, language, and, in some cases, cultural behaviors and religion—from their parents, writes Andrew Solomon in Far from the Tree (Scribner, 2012). A child’s horizontal identity, however, is an inherent or acquired trait foreign to and often treated as a flaw by his or her parents, such as having a physical disability or being gay or a genius. The intersection of the identities comes, perhaps, when parents can “look deep into [their] child’s eyes and see in him both [themselves] and something utterly strange,” Solomon observes.…

For the Bargain Gourmet BLACKBOARD EATS Score up to 30 percent off meals at restaurants throughout Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco, and Chicago. Run by former staff members of Gourmet and other food magazines, the app allows you to read restaurant reviews and purchase your favorite deals on the fly. For Regulars SCOUTMOB Browse Return Perk deals that offer 10 to 50 percent off meals, with extra savings for regulars at restaurants in Austin, Boston, Washington, DC, and other cities. You have to be at the location to access the deal—just show it to your server to activate. For Groups OPENTABLE Make a reservation and message friends with a time, date, and location to earn Dining Rewards Points that you can redeem for discounts. Search restaurants throughout the United…

Before my customer would order the seafood fettuccine, I had to tell her what was in it. “What’s a mussel?” she asked, after I ran down the list of ingredients. “It’s a shellfish,” I said. She was horrified. “You mean,” she said, “there’s fish in this?” From stuckserving.com Doggone It! Every year, the RSPCA—the British equivalent of the ASPCA—fields a lot of odd phone calls from distressed animal lovers. Here are a few: • A citizen called to report a slow-moving tortoise on the shoulder of a motorway. It turned out to be a deflated football. • Someone reported that a seagull was looking sad because it was sitting in the rain. • A caller asked if we could remove a spider from her bathroom sink. After sending two invoices…

My 11-year-old granddaughter was helping me sort through a pile of papers on my desk. After flipping through page after page of letters from the Department of Veterans Affairs, she turned to me with, I believe, a new appreciation. “Grandma,” she asked, “exactly how many affairs did you have with veterans?” Sylvia Force, Elmira, New York When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. Comedian Dick Gregory Classic We Love While standing watch in the Coast Guard station in Juneau, Alaska, I got a call from the Navy. They had lost contact with one of their planes and needed us to send an aircraft to find it. I asked the man where the plane had last…

Nick Metcalf, 22-year-old student at the University of Iowa One night in March of my sophomore year of high school, I was eating spaghetti when I suddenly couldn’t swallow. Somehow, the food came back up my esophagus and choked me, so I had to run to the bathroom and regurgitate. I tried to eat again, but the same thing kept happening. Over the next week or so, I ate only small amounts of food—and most of it would come back up. I tried to hide it, but I finally got scared enough to tell my mom, and she took me to our family physician. He had no idea what was going on, so he referred me to a specialist. The rest of that year became a whole big mess of…

“I survived the hell of Auschwitz” As any carpenter will tell you, my wood is dense. I can be split, but I don’t give way easily. And I haven’t fallen apart. I’m a hardy Polish oak tree accustomed to harsh winters. My unhappy fate is that I grow at the entrance to a Polish army barracks. After the German invasion, in September 1939, I thought the barracks had been abandoned. But I was wrong. On May 1, 1940, before sunup, I saw Commandant Rudolf Höss arrive, flanked by SS guards. On his face was the satisfied smile of the conqueror. A rictus grin to make my sap run cold. Less than two months later, the first victims passed beneath my branches: 728 Polish political detainees. Other prisoners poured in, mostly…

OVER-STEEP YOUR TEA 8:30 A.M. Don’t Screw Up Your Tea Mistake: Leaving the bag in until the tea is cool enough to drink Instead: Keep the tea bag in the hot water for only two minutes, pour milk into the cup, and let it sit for another six minutes before your first sip so the mixture can reach the ideal 140-degree temperature. Abandon the bag in the cup, and you’ll be left with an over-steeped, bitter brew. 9:30 A.M. Don’t Screw Up Brushing Your Teeth Mistake: Using a brush with natural bristles Instead: While a natural-bristle brush may seem healthier, it actually traps germs inside. Buy one with syntheticfiber bristles, which are nonporous and allow bacteria to easily wash away. Replace your brush every three months or after you’ve been…

1 Dial 911 first. The first one to make an emergency call to report a crime is usually considered the victim. Get your side of the story on tape first. 2 Insist on a search warrant. Even if you have nothing to hide, fight the urge to cooperate with authorities until they have a warrant. 3 Remain silent. Silence is key during an arrest. Even an innocuous remark can work against you in court. 4 Expect to feel guilty. After you are charged, you may have to undergo drug tests and counselor check-ins. They are legal, even if they are embarrassing. 5 Don’t skimp on a lawyer. Opt for the best attorney you can afford or perhaps one a little above your budget to put your mind at ease during…

1898 Mark Twain Predicted the Internet The sardonic scribe forecast the Internet a century before its birth. In his short story “From the ‘London Times’ of 1904,” Twain described an invention based on the telectroscope, a never-produced 19th-century device that was intended to use an enormous network of phone lines to connect the world. 1865 Jules Verne Predicted the Moon Landing Verne’s prescient novels From the Earth to the Moon and Around the Moon featured a spaceship called the Columbiad, which blasted off from a launchpad in Florida and carried three astronauts into space. After impressively completing a trip to the moon, the ship crash-landed in the Pacific Ocean. Sound familiar? That’s because it almost precisely describes the first U.S. moon mission, Apollo 8, which took place more than 100…

by Ezekiel J. Emanuel (Random House, $27) Rahm (the quiet one) was White House chief of staff and is now Chicago’s mayor. Ari, the baby, is a major Hollywood talent agent. Ezekiel, a prominent bioethicist, attributes their successes to the way they were raised: RD: Not only are you and your brothers wellknown high-achievers, you’re also incredibly close. Emanuel: One of the genius things my parents did was put all three of us in one bedroom. We were constantly fighting but also sharing ideas. We were each other’s confidants and playmates. This is why we still talk four or five times a week and do lots of things together. RD: Your mother, Marsha, emerges as the star of this rollicking tale. Rahm was still a baby when she took you…

A Messy Problem I have a lovely set of roommates, but they are total slobs! Common housekeeping tasks like loading the dishwasher and vacuuming the floors seem like foreign concepts to them. I’m tired of these adult women disrespecting our living space, but whenever I broach the subject, the ladies get very defensive. I’m not asking for much—just a tidy apartment. How do I get them to pick up after themselves without being offensive? Living in Squalor Dear Squalor, Wow, the roomies sound like my teenage girls—and most of their friends! It’s really hard to live with people (of any age) who are messy, disrespectful of the rights of those sharing the same house, and dismissive of requests for improved citizenship. I recommend you take tips from parents of teenagers:…

Thanks for the Inspiration! As someone who has battled weight issues for many years, I was encouraged to read about Adrienne Farr’s success (“Lean, Healthy & Loving Life!”). She mentioned that along with the changes in her body, her mind-set has also changed for the better. Congratulations to Adrienne for her success and for inspiring me as well as many other readers across the world. Keep up the great work! Danny R. Thomas, Grand Blanc, Michigan Changing Hearts and Minds A 60-year-old Texan, I’ve always considered myself fairly liberal, except for the death penalty. I figured that if someone takes a life, he should give his life in return. I sat and cried like a baby after reading “The Face of Forgiveness.” That article changed my thoughts on the issue,…

Mathochism People with math anxiety actually feel pain when doing arithmetic, according to a study. The Week asked its readers to name this condition: • Fibromyalgebra • Arithmia • Pi-graine • Percentile • Dysfunction • Add Nauseum • Digit-itis It takes forever to cook a baked potato in a conventional oven. Sometimes I’ll just throw one in there even if I don’t want one. By the time it’s done, who knows? Mitch Hedberg In ancient Greece, a man came running up to Socrates with gossip he’d heard about Diogenes. “Before you tell me,” interrupted Socrates, “are you sure that what you are about to tell me is true?” “No,” admitted the man. “Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?” “No, but he …” “Will this…

It’s been known for a while that grapefruit juice can interact with certain medications and dangerously increase their potency, due to chemicals called furanocoumarins (also present in limes and Seville oranges). New research has found that the number of drugs that interact badly with grapefruit juice—including some common blood-pressure and cholesterol-lowering medications—has more than doubled since 2008 thanks to new drug formulations. “Taking one tablet of certain medications with a glass of grapefruit juice can be like taking five tablets with water,” says lead researcher David Bailey, PhD, a clinical pharmacologist at the Lawson Health Research Institute in London, Ontario. A single grapefruit or glass of juice—even if consumed hours before or after a drug is taken—is enough to cause a reaction. Check with your doctor to see if any…

I had been on an emotional roller coaster for years after dealing with breast cancer, the death of my father, my mom’s diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease and her death, and the death of a dear friend. I turned to food for comfort, and my weight soared past 190 pounds. I knew about the research showing that for every 11 pounds I gained, my chance of dying from breast cancer went up by 14 percent, but I still could not get the weight off. Then my husband handed me a copy of Reader’s Digest describing the new diet. I immediately ordered the Digest Diet book, and my life changed. To my amazement, the foods tasted wonderful, and the pounds just fell off. The biggest problem with following the Digest Diet after…

Foods That Harm ASPARAGUS AND CABBAGE: Asparagus and cruciferous vegetables (like cabbage, Brussels sprouts, and broccoli) contain indigestible sugars that can cause gas. Try cooking them with the spices below, and avoid eating them with fatty foods, which may slow digestion. BEANS: Legumes’ notorious reputation comes courtesy of those same indigestible sugars. Cut down on them by soaking dried beans for at least eight hours before cooking and by rinsing canned ones. BRAN: Bran’s fiber isn’t digested by the body, so don’t eat too much. If you want to increase your intake, drink lots of water—it helps fiber move through your system. Foods That Heal FENNEL OR CHAMOMILE TEA: A cup after a high-fiber meal can aid digestion. YOGURT: Its live and active cultures help quash gas production by upping…

Store Water “I’ve built a saltwater pool with 35,000 gallons of water that can be distilled and converted into drinking water.” Doomsday Prepper Bob EXPERTS SAY: Don’t build a pool unless you intend to sip a cocktail in it. If you want to play it safe, store three gallons of water per person per day in a cool, dark place. Save Your Shelter Doomsday Prepper Brent EXPERTS SAY: Hurricanes aren’t afraid of moats and drawbridges. Instead, designate a “safe spot” in the house (the most secure area is the space beneath your stairs if your stairway is connected to a wall). Keep a few plywood boards in the house—they can come in handy if you ever need to fortify the front door or windows. Protect Food “I grow my own…

Germany Parents are banned by law from using last names and the names of objects and products as first names. A child’s first name must clearly indicate his or her gender, and all names must be approved by the office of vital statistics in the area in which the child was born. Iceland The country’s naming committee consults the National Register of Persons to determine if a name is acceptable. If parents want to go off-list, they must apply for approval and pay a fee, and the name must contain only letters in the Icelandic alphabet. New Zealand The country’s Births, Deaths, and Marriages Registration Act of 1995 prohibits parents from choosing a name that “might cause offense to a reasonable person; is unreasonably long; or is, includes, or resembles…

1 “Robotic Squirrel Models: Study of Squirrel–Rattlesnake Interaction in Laboratory and Natural Settings.” Robotics & Automation Magazine. Joshi et al. UC Davis. Dec. 2011. 2 “Prolonged Exposure of Porpoises to Moonlight Has Positive Health Effects.” PLoS. Villanueva et al. Florida State University. Dec. 2011. 3 “Using Holographic Simulations in Crowd Control: A Case Study.” Journal of the Optical Society of America. A. Markov et al. U.S. DoD Non-Lethal Weapons Program. Oct. 2011. 4 “Radiological Investigation of an Over 2,000-Year-Old Egyptian Mummy of a Cat.” Journal of Feline Medicine and Surgery. Gnudi et al. University of Parma. Apr. 2012. 5 “Are Ironic Acts Deliberate?” Journal of Pragmatics. Raymond W. Gibbs Jr. UC Santa Cruz. Jan. 2012. 6 “Quantifying the Effects of Video game–Playing on the Ability to Control Urination.” Game Studies.…

Can’t pull it together to go to work? Don’t use one of these tried-and-unfortunately-true alibis: • Employee’s sobriety tool wouldn’t allow the car to start. • Employee forgot he had been hired for the job. • Employee said her dog was having a nervous breakdown. • Employee’s dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation. • Employee’s toe was stuck in a faucet. • Employee said a bird bit her. • Employee was upset after watching The Hunger Games. • Employee’s hair was turned orange by an at-home dye kit. • Employee got sick from reading too much. From careerbuilder.com…

For most of us, an illness or ache means a trip to the doctor, a diagnosis, and eventual relief. But sometimes symptoms stump even the best physicians. What these three cases have in common—besides very sick people and many mystified doctors—are the dogged persistence of the patients to get better and the compassionate care of the experts who successfully treated them.…

Diane Hicks, 39-year-old district director for Giant Food Stores and mother of three from Owings, Maryland At work, I started noticing these small, dull aches, like a toothache, in the back left side of my mouth. I also started getting headaches that would last only a few seconds. I’d had a root canal following an infection that summer, so when these pains went on for about three weeks, I went back to my dentist. But he couldn’t find anything wrong. Throughout the fall, the headaches came more often, and my teeth and neck started to hurt—always on the left side. I went back to my dentist; he guessed the problem might be a wisdom tooth, so he extracted my top left one. The week before Christmas, I started getting these…

Abdicate (ab-dikeyt) v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Advice (ad-vahys) n. What we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t. Erica Jong Age (ayjuh) n. A high price to pay for maturity. Tom Stoppard Bookstore (book-stohr) n. One of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. Jerry Seinfeld Calories (kal-uh-rees) n. Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes tighter every night. Cat (kat) n. An animal intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. Garrison Keillor Committee (kuh-mit-ee) n. A cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled. Barnett Cocks Conclusion (kuhn-kloo-zhuhn) n. The place you reach when you’re tired of thinking. Martin Fischer…

• FROM Hope Every two years, a group of the world’s greatest cellists and others devoted to that unassuming instrument—bow makers, collectors, historians—gather at the International Cello Festival in Manchester, England, for a week of workshops, master classes, seminars, recitals, and parties. Each evening, the 600 or so participants assemble for a concert. At the 1994 festival, where I performed as a pianist, the opening-night performance at the Royal Northern College of Music consisted of works for unaccompanied cello. There on the stage in the magnificent concert hall was a solitary chair. No piano, no music stand, no conductor’s podium. This was to be music in its purest, most intense form. The atmosphere was supercharged with anticipation and concentration. The world-famous cellist Yo-Yo Ma was to perform that April night,…

The city of New Orleans does not sit at the mouth of the Mississippi River, as is often thought. The river continues southeast past the Big Easy for about 100 miles through a series of bends, where bayous and marshes crowd the wooded lowlands, before it finally empties into the Gulf of Mexico. The community of Braithwaite lies there among the myriad bays and lakes, part of Plaquemines Parish. The area, an 18-mile strip of land roughly two miles wide, straddles the Mississippi’s eastern bank. Because of its precarious location and soggy topography, the parish’s East Bank is surrounded by levees, meaning Braithwaite is essentially a huge tub—if the levees were breached, the town would fill up with water. On the evening of August 28, 2012, that’s exactly what happened.…

None of us ever wants to put a parent in a nursing home,* let alone move into one ourselves. Despite per-night rates that rival the cost of a five-star hotel, the image of long hallways filled with lonely residents strapped into wheelchairs persists. So what’s the real story? We asked almost two dozen experts, from administrators and advocates to nurses and nurse’s aides, to share what they know—and what they think the public needs to know. While many facilities defy the negative stereotype, these experts had surprising advice on everything from ensuring a patient’s safety (and happiness) to getting the best care. HOW THE PROS CHOOSE A PLACE 1 “How do you know it’s time to start looking at nursing homes for a loved one? If you have concerns about…

The Burgess Boys by Elizabeth Strout (Random House, $26) From the Pulitzer Prize–winning novelist: “Jim took his tie off with a furious pull and said to Bob, ‘Our nephew’s about to be arrested.’ Jim’s face was pale; his eyes had become small. He sat on the couch and pressed his hands to his head. ‘Oh, man. This could be all over the papers. The nephew of Jim Burgess has been charged—’ ‘Did he kill someone?’ Bob asked. Jim looked up. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ he asked, just as Helen was saying cautiously, ‘Like a prostitute?’ Jim shook his head sharply, as though he had water in his ear. ‘No, he didn’t kill someone.’ He looked at Helen and said, ‘No, the person he didn’t kill was not a prostitute.’”…

As a debate arose over a question in our literature class, my professor turned to his iPhone. Scrolling through the search results, he wondered aloud, “What did professors do before Wikipedia?” A fellow student shouted out, “Know things.” Daniel Mitchell, Griffith, Indiana Kids Say the Weirdest Things One reason to friend your children on Facebook is to make sure they don’t embarrass themselves with posts like these real ones: • “It took me ten minutes to remember how to spell water bottel.” • “Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can’t see.” • “There is no i in happyness.” • “Goodbye, America. Hello, New York!” Source: acidcow.com The day after a major storm, the shelves at the supermarket were pretty bare—especially in the bread aisle, where there was nary a…

*in case you missed it, go to readersdigest.com/dailydigest. Of Immediate Interest CUTE VIDEOS ALERT! You’ll awww at the tiny kitten that acts out its feline dreams, the dog that loves baths more than you love anything (thanks, Gawker, for sharing with us), and the beaver that waves at a baby. GIVE ’EM A HAND One editor’s random search (“hand videos”) returned an afternoon’s worth of viewing: sleight of hand magic, hand shadow dancing, and many more. HOW TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE TV matchmaker Patti Stanger’s top ten tips to nab a date online include: Splurge on your pic, message him first, and no Googling. (But a quick LinkedIn check? Go for it.) FREE FICTION ON YOUR PHONE If you’re a reader, you’ll want the Bookslinger app for your Apple device.…

1 A Toothbrush that Doesn’t Brush The Emmi-dent looks like a regular electric toothbrush, but the bristles relay ultrasonic impulses to clean teeth and gums without brushing. Simply held against the teeth, Emmi-dent’s 96 million ultrasound oscillations per minute interact with a special toothpaste to destroy the bacteria that cause gum disease and tooth loss, cleaning places unreachable with toothbrushes or floss. The device ($189, emmi-dent.com) has been available in Europe for several years, where studies found it effective at reducing plaque and keeping gums healthy. 2 A Sponge that Delivers Drugs Bioengineers at Harvard have developed a sponge—made of a seaweed-based jelly—that can be molded to any shape, loaded with drugs or cells, compressed to a fraction of its size, and then injected into the body. Once inside, the…

Many cell phones contain nickel, a metal that can cause allergic dermatitis—an itchy rash—on one side of the face and in the ear in 10 to 20 percent of the population. “Women are more likely than men to have the allergy, probably because they were sensitized when they had their ears pierced, which can introduce nickel into the bloodstream,” says Luz Fonacier, MD, head of the allergy section, division of allergy and immunology at Winthrop-University Hospital in Mineola, New York. Fonacier analyzed the most popular models of cell phones and found that most flip phones and about a third of the BlackBerry devices tested contained nickel. The iPhone and Droid models tested contained no nickel at all. If you suspect you’re allergic to your phone, you can protect your skin…

• SHOP AT THE SALAD BAR When a recipe calls for a small amount of vegetables, I pick some up at the supermarket salad bar—it’s cheaper than buying a whole package. • PORTION WITH PLASTIC BAGS Portion control has always been a challenge. Now, if I’m supposed to eat ten almonds, I put ten almonds in a bag—when they’re done, they’re done. • DONATE OFFLIMITS FOODS I once bought all kinds of cereal because I read that if you ate the right ones, you’d lose weight. I donated them all to the local food pantry! • HAVE THE RIGHT TOOLS My favorite gadget is my one-serving blender. I also bought several sets of measuring spoons and a food chopper, which I use all the time.…

“You can’t go wrong with colors from nature, because you’re just knocking off what God has done.” Nate Berkus, designer “Easy on the eye, easy to live with: It’s a robin’s-egg blue-green with a bit of muddiness to it. I always like my colors a little muddy.” Melissa Birdsong, vice president of trend, design, and brand for Lowe’s “Colors close together on the color wheel are analogous and will create a calm room. Colors that are farther apart are complementary and add drama.” David Bromstad, designer “Always sample paint colors. Paint a sample board so you can move it around a room.” Diana Hathaway Timmons, interior designer “A white ceiling can be a big mistake, especially when your walls are dark. Instead, wrap the entire room in color.” Josette Buisson,…

• FROM THE BOOK Until I Say Good-Bye My trip with my sister and my daughter from Palm Beach, Florida, to a Manhattan wedding gown shop, cannot be understood without further zooming into focus on Marina, my 14-year-old daughter I’ve asked to try on dresses. Key word: fourteen. A child. An awkward, beautiful child. This was the girl I took to Kleinfeld, the fancy store featured on the television program Say Yes to the Dress. As the trip approached, I asked Marina if she was excited. “Sure, Mom,” she’d say, shrugging. Marina was more enthused about getting a tattoo on her ankle to represent my fight with ALS than trying on $10,000 wedding gowns. My sister, Stephanie, had arranged for a van with a wheelchair lift to drive us from…

1 Bodybuilders have written off baby oil, a junkyard owner deducted the cost of cat food for the felines she counted on to keep rats away, and an exotic dancer won a case against the IRS that allowed her to write off her breast implants. Never assume something can’t be deducted as a business expense! 2 Just because I’m a CPA doesn’t necessarily mean I know taxes. Ask about my background, what kind of practice I have, and if I’m familiar with your state’s tax laws. 3 You can go ahead and sign your return without looking it over—but remember, even though you’re paying me to prepare it, the IRS holds you legally responsible for everything on it. 4 If you’re afraid of e-filing, consider this: Not only will you…

We will always remember how Grandma gave us cookies, great birthday presents, and … longevity? According to a new study published in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B, humans developed longer life spans because grandmothers began looking after their grandchildren millions of years ago. With grandmas helping out at home (or, more appropriately, around the cave), prehistoric mothers were able to have larger families, according to study author Kristen Hawkes. The result: Grandmothering set into motion evolutionary changes, like bigger brain size and long-term monogamous bonding between individuals—all because Nana wanted to play tea party with the kids and read the occasional bedtime story.…

A-List The letter A is so much more than the alphabet’s leader and a header for April: music note, blood type, Hawthorne favorite, mark of excellence, and even stardom vehicle for Mr. T. In its honor, a quiz devoted to words whose only vowel is A. Answers on the next page. 1. banal (buh-’nal or ’bay-nuhl) adj.— A: disallowed. B: uptight. C: trite. 2. annals (’a-nlz) n.— A: catacombs. B: chronicles. C: long johns. 3. arcana (ar-’kay-nuh) n.—A: mysterious or specialized knowledge. B: travel journal. C: rainbow. 4. masala (mah-’sah-la) n.—A: Chilean wine. B: Indian spice blend. C: Italian antipasto. 5. lama (’lah-muh) n.—A: beast of burden. B: heroic escape. C: priest or monk. 6. bazaar (buh-’zar) n.—A: weird event. B: marketplace. C: wailing siren. 7. paschal (’pas-kel) adj.—A: of…

Karrie Aitken, 46-year-old mother of three from Chatsworth, California I woke up one morning to get the kids ready for school, and the room was spinning. I kept trying to stand, but I gave up and spent the whole day in bed. For a week, I felt dizzy; then my left ear started to feel odd, so my husband took me to the ER. The doctor did a CAT scan and said maybe I had just a virus when she couldn’t find anything wrong. I kept feeling off, so I went to my regular doctor. She asked me to walk in a straight line—and I couldn’t do it! That worried her, so she sent me to an ear, nose, and throat (ENT) doctor, who discovered I’d lost hearing in both…

… Boy Who Got Sick Skiing I was working the overnight shift in a remote hospital in the Rocky Mountains. Late in the evening, a young black teenager was brought into the ER. He lived at sea level and had never been in the mountains. After skiing all day, he felt really ill. Everyone assumed it was altitude sickness. He was sweating and had abdominal pain and nausea. His heart rate was elevated. We sent off his lab work, and his blood sugar came back at almost 600—normal is less than 100. His platelets, necessary for clotting, came in at 10,000; they should have been over 150,000. He was extremely anemic too. I did an ultrasound of his abdomen, and it looked like his belly was full of blood. This…

• FROM handsfreemama.com I was two years shy of becoming a mother when I learned my greatest lesson about parenting. This information was not gleaned from a New York Times bestseller, a renowned pediatrician, or an experienced parent. It came from a ten-year-old boy born to a drug-addicted mother, with an Individualized Education Plan thicker than an encyclopedia—a boy with permanent scars along the side of his left arm from a beating with an extension cord when he was three. Kyle* taught me the one and only thing I really needed to know about loving a child through the challenges of life: Be present. *name changed to protect privacy It had been a difficult move. I’d left my family and friends in Indiana, the beloved state where I’d lived most…

Aringing telephone woke Steven and Michelle Gesse in their home outside Boulder, Colorado. It was Sunday, April 5, 2009, around 11 p.m. A local sheriff’s dispatcher on the line informed the couple that their nextdoor neighbor’s grown son, who had dined at the Gesse house earlier that evening, was accusing Steven of threatening him at gunpoint. In fact, the person said, the cops were already outside the Gesse house. Half-asleep and in disbelief, Michelle, 59, threw on a pair of sweatpants and walked out the front door. Within seconds, she was surrounded by officers pointing shotguns at her. Hearing the commotion downstairs, Steven, 62, stumbled outside wearing nothing but a bathrobe. He was immediately handcuffed and soon put in the back of a police car while his wife was bombarded…

Wrath Each day, Donna Alexander watches an array of customers enter her Anger Room in Dallas, smash everything from TVs to mannequins, and exit smiling and content. And they pay her up to $75 for the privilege. “I saw a lot of fights when I was growing up,” she explains. “So I thought that if there were a place to let that anger out, the world would be better.” Destructotherapy, as it’s often called, is a controversial form of anger management among mentalhealth professionals, but the general population seems drawn to it. In Spain, entrepreneurs have organized outdoor events where townsfolk pay to demolish cars, appliances, and computers with sledgehammers. In Berlin, two artists designed a vending machine called the Anger Release Machine, which automatically smashes ordinary plates for $1…

In checking out options for Mom or Dad, you may explore assisted living facilities (ALFs), in which residents maintain their own apartments but eat in communal dining rooms and receive help with daily activities (such as dressing or medication). Here are three major differences between ALFs and nursing homes. • ALFs offer less medical care. While nursing homes provide 24-hour nursing care, ALFs may not have medical staff present at night or on weekends, for example. • ALFs cost less than nursing homes. But costs are unlikely to be covered by Medicare or Medicaid. • Residents can be kicked out. There is no federal regulation of ALFs, though there is with nursing homes. Meaning, for example, that ALF residents can be asked to leave for almost any reason, at any…

Shocked: My Mother, Schiaparelli, and Me by Patricia Volk (Knopf, $26.95) Bestselling author Volk is at the top of her game with this witty, nostalgic look at womanhood and style. She juxtaposes remembrances of her beautiful mother with the life of an iconic Italian fashion designer in a way that’s charming and wholly original. More than 100 images of fashion, art, and family make for a treat. The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer (Riverhead, $27.95) This big, juicy novel follows six teenage friends from summer camp the year Nixon resigns through adulthood and changing fortunes. Wolitzer’s finger is unerringly on the pulse of our social culture. Amity & Sorrow by Peggy Riley (Little Brown, $25.99) A literary page-turner, Riley’s debut centers on a mother and two daughters escaping from a polygamous…

The moment you think of a joke is the best moment. Judd Apatow A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill People always call it luck when you’ve acted more sensibly than they have. Anne Tyler, author Mellow doesn’t always make for a good story, but it makes for a good life. Anne Hathaway There’s something very powerful about looking in the mirror and asking yourself a question. Because I think it’s really hard to lie. Kristen Wiig Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. Truman Capote FINISH THIS SENTENCE: A GOOD FRIEND IS … … one who inspires you to live according to your higher ideals. Baba Hariji, guru … someone who thinks that you are a…