Globe April 29, 2024

WHATTA BONEHEAD! America’s Got Talent judge HOWIE MANDEL has a hard time blending into the background with his outlandish hat SOLE SURVIVOR Pretty Baby’s BROOKE SHIELDS pumps the brakes on sky-high heels — and carries her shoes instead! THAT’S CHIN-CREDIBLE! Tubby FOX reject TUCKER CARLSON looks like he’s chewing the fat onscreen — and off! STICKING IT OUT Former Body Heat babe KATHLEEN TURNER — who’s battled rheumatoid arthritis for decades — hobbles along with a cane in the Big Apple CAWSING A SCENE CHRIS ROBINSON — dramatic frontman of The Black Crowes — is dressed like he raided a clown’s closet! HOOK, LINE & SINK HER Rapper LIL’ KIM brings her rhymes to Harlem’s Apollo Theater — but the nip/tuck fanatic’s trout pout is as fishy as ever!…

AFTER moving into a monster Tinseltown mansion right after tying the knot, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are now house hunting in the Big Apple, say insiders, who spill that the diva’s picky demands have turned the search into a total nightmare! Insiders say the high-profile duo are fleeing the fishbowl of Los Angeles to save their marriage, and looked tense on a weekend outing in New York, with 51-year-old Batman Ben showing a weary mug to his grimacing 54-year-old wife after viewing a six-bedroom, rooftop terrace townhouse on the Upper East Side renting for a whopping $45Gs a month. “They’re going around with a pile of assistants trailing behind them and all these real estate agents showing these ridiculously lavish properties. Jennifer seems to find fault with every one of…

CRUMBLING Cher’s long list of ailments from migraines to insomnia have become a huge headache for her boytoy beau Alexander “A.E.” Edwards, who she’s running ragged as her personal nursemaid, spies tattle. “He serves her needs sexually, keeps her from being lonely and oversees her medical situation,” says a tipster. “She treats him like a nursemaid and gets angry when he’s not by her side. She pays him well and he’s sure earning it.” The 77-year-old Believe songbird and the 38-year-old music producer first started dating in November 2022, split last May over her fears that he was just using her for status and money and got back together in October, according to insiders. But her health is taking a toll on the relationship, the tipster dishes. The odd couple…

FOLLOWING their recent divorce, Sofía Vergara and Joe Manganiello are in a bitter battle to one-up each other by racing to see who’ll be first to tie the knot again, pals tattle. Sources snitch the 47-year-old Magic Mike hunk has ex Sofía in a tizzy over his hot romance with 34-year-old model-actress Caitlin O’Connor, who he hooked up with in September, just two months after splitting with the 51-year-old Modern Family beauty. “Joe’s telling people he’s in love again, has moved in with Caitlin and is talking marriage,” spills an insider. “That’s got Sofía freaking out! She’s so competitive she can’t stand the thought of Joe getting married again while she’s single.” The South American sexpot is “putting pressure on herself” to beat the stud to the altar, says the tattler. She’s…

FLAB-HATING Taylor Swift has ordered her All-Pro football stud, Travis Kelce, to shed the unwanted lard he piled on following his Super Bowl win, according to tattlers who squeal the songbird’s intense diet plan is driving the jock batty. Sources snitch the Kansas City Chiefs tight end usually weighs 250 pounds during football season, but the 6-foot-5 hunk has let some of that muscle go to fat, which trim Tay-Tay can’t stand. “The bottom line is she doesn’t want her man to get love handles or flab, since she can barely get her arms around him as it is,” spills an insider. “It’s very important to her, from an attraction standpoint — and for their image — that Travis doesn’t get slobby and pile on a massive beer belly like…

MEOUCH! Summertime’s rolling in and the catty Kardashian gals are stuffing their silicone-boosted bods into bikinis and fighting like kill-crazy cougars over who looks best in their itsy-bitsy bathing suits, stunned sources titter! After the reality TV sisters jetted to the Turks and Caicos islands for a supposed vacation, insiders dish control freak momager Kris Jenner flogged them like workhorses from 3,000 miles away in L.A. to make sure the money mill keeps grinding! “These beach vacations may look like bliss, but it’s always a drama with Kris barking orders over the phone, telling them how to strut their stuff to generate bankable income,” blabs a mole. “Trouble is, the sisters are always so paranoid and competitive about looking hot, the sniping rockets out of control as they try to…