Reader's Digest -julkaisun June 2016 -irtonumeron sisällysluettelo

I STARTED TO WORRY when the golf cart taking me, Steve, and our suitcases stopped in the middle of the Maine forest. A yurt is a circular tent tall enough to stand in and wide enough to fit a family of Mongolian nomads. But I didn’t see it anywhere. “You hike from here,” grunted our heretofore mute bellhop, pointing down a leafy trail. The woods were darkening, and Steve encouraged me to pick up the pace. My summer sandals slipped on the damp leaves, and the Samsonite flipped over whenever it encountered a root. Steve and I bumped and bickered for a good half hour until we spotted a beacon of white canvas. The yurt. Steve expertly lit a fire. We ate some sandwiches, had a few beers, and settled…

Lotion: WARM IT UP Place the closed container in a bowl of hot water for a few minutes. This warms the last little bit, liquefying it just enough to squeeze out. Peanut butter: BUILD OUT BREAKFAST Behold, there is a way to get every last lick: Pour equal parts old-fashioned oats and milk into the jar. Add ¼ cup Greek yogurt, ½ sliced banana, and dashes of cinnamon and sugar to taste. Shake and refrigerate overnight. In the morning, enjoy delicious peanut butter breakfast oats. Olive oil: MAKE SALAD DRESSING If some olive oil still coats the bottle, create a new salad dressing. Add vinegar and herbs such as thyme or basil. Shake well for a mix you can pour straight onto your greens. Toothpaste: USE A ROLLING PIN Squeezed…

ON JULY 10, 1980, I was aboard the destroyer USS Oldendorf DD-972, in transit in the South China Sea from Singapore to Subic Bay, in the Philippines. The day was gray and dreary, with threatening clouds all around us. The wind was blowing at 20 knots with about ten-foot swells. There was a typhoon 200 miles east of us heading our way. All of us were looking forward to arriving in the Philippines as quickly as possible. Suddenly, the lookout spotted an object adrift about ten miles to the east. The signalman looked at it through the large telescopic binoculars we called the big eyes and announced that it was a boat with many people on it. We all knew right then that they were refugees adrift in an area…

35 Extraordinary Uses for Ordinary Things I’m a retired chemical engineer. I knew of many of your good tips, but I never thought of using milk of magnesia as a deodorant. You had many new tricks for me! FRED OLENICK, Richmond, Texas Mr. Smith Goes to Prison As the director of the program Prison Arts Touching Hearts, I have had the opportunity to witness firsthand how intelligent, sensitive, entrepreneurial, and creative many incarcerated men are. What these men need (and crave) is a sense of purpose in their lives. LESLIE LAKES, Mill Valley, Cal i fornia After using the majority of this excerpt to glamorize Jeff Smith’s experience as an inmate, the article ends as a morality tale, with Smith as the champion for these men rather than as a…

I WAS HUMBLED and honored to be asked by the president of this outstanding university to speak to you today. Who am I? I am Gavin Presgrave, and for the past 39 years, I have written graduation speeches for hundreds of celebrities and nervous valedictorians. For decades, I have come up with new ways to say future, and, at the risk of bragging, I was the first graduation-speech writer to compare life to a book. If I’m known for anything, it’s for starting speeches by saying, “I promise to keep things short, as I’m sure you are all impatient to go forward to the wonderful lives I hope you will live.” I’m proud of that. But perhaps my most renowned work came during a commencement speech at Penn State in…

There was a commercial on TV starring Madge the manicurist, who would be talking to her customer about how easy the dishwashing liquid Palmolive was on one’s hands. In fact, she would tell the unsuspecting customer, “you’re soaking in it right now,” and the woman would pull her fingers out of the liquid with a start. So much was happening in the Palmolive commercial. First, there was a lot of fear about dishpan hands. You heard about them a lot, and you didn’t want them. Second, the idea that something that was supposed to be harsh on your hands was instead soothing was mind-blowing. Last, there was the betrayal that Madge, someone you could trust, could have you soak your sad hands in dishwashing liquid. She was so happy about…

A perfect life makes horrible art. CHRIS ROCK, comedian, in Essence I’M WORRIED that the way we’re framing happiness has the unintended consequence of making misfortune and grief—and reality generally—harder for people to bear. On top of feeling bad, they feel, “I should be happy.” And therefore, implicitly, “I’m failing when I don’t feel happy.” … That’s simply not true. JANNA MALAMUD SMITH, psychotherapist, on wbur.org ONE OF THE simplest paths to deep change is for the less powerful to speak as much as they listen and for the more powerful to listen as much as they speak. GLORIA STEINEM, wri ter and activist, in her book My Life on the Road THE INSTINCT is to go to your peers for support, not critical evaluation. But when you are championing…

EGGS Refrigerated, uncooked eggs stay fresh for up to three weeks after the “sell by” date. Most eggs are spritzed with mineral oil, which seals the porous shell and makes it less susceptible to bacteria. Since cooking washes away the coating, eat refrigerated hard-boiled eggs within a week. PEPPERS All peppers contain a gene that prevents their cell structures from breaking down and typically last a week in the refrigerator. Green peppers stay fresh even longer than other kinds—about two to three weeks—because of their low sugar content. Toss limp or wrinkled peppers. DELI MEATS Unopened, prepackaged deli meats last about two to three weeks from the time you buy them. Vacuum-sealed pouches protect meat from oxygen, preventing bacteria growth. After opening, eat deli meats within three to five days.…

More Older Adults Mix Dangerous Drugs The number of people ages 62 to 85 who regularly use potentially fatal combinations of prescription medications with OTC drugs and dietary supplements has doubled over a fiveyear period, according to a University of Illinois at Chicago study. Both prescription drug and supplement use in older adults have increased in the past decade. Ask your doctor about how certain medications or dietary supplements may interact before popping an extra pill. Nearsightedness: A Global Trend Experts estimate that half of us will be nearsighted by 2050, thanks to a surge in the amount of time we spend indoors staring at phones and computers, says a new report in the journal Ophthalmology. Researchers recommend cutting back on screen time and getting outside—natural light may stimulate the…

WE’RE READY! ✔ Nonperishable emergency food: 82 percent of households have enough nonperishable food to feed all family members for three days. ✔ Evacuation vehicle: 88.6 percent have a reliable vehicle able to carry all household members, pets, and supplies up to 50 miles away. ✔ Evacuation funds: 69.8 percent of households have financial resources ready to meet evacuation expenses of up to $2,000. WE’RE DOOMED! ✘ Emergency water supply: Only 54.3 percent of households have at least three gallons of water per person on hand. ✘ Communication plan: Only 33 percent of us have a communication contingency plan for the disruption of cell phone service. ✘ Backup generator: A measly 18.3 percent of homes have one ready in the event of a prolonged power outage. Source: census.gov…

ON MY FIRST DAY OF WORK at the flower shop, I showed up in sandals. The second day, realizing I needed something close-toed, I wore my nice Oxfords. The third day, having learned that less fancy would be best, I debuted a pair of red hightop Converse sneakers I’d bought specifically for the job. The clean white toes of my Chuck Taylors perfectly reflected my newness at the shop—how long it took me to put together bouquets, how I struggled to fold paper around loose stems in a way that was pretty or at least presentable. “It’s like swaddling a baby,” someone told me in an effort to be helpful, but I had never done that either. My dream of working in a flower shop had its roots in my…

ON THE DAY PATTY O’REILLY MET the man who had killed her husband, Danny, his wedding band hung next to a small crucifix on a gold chain around her neck. Patty clutched a family photo album as guards ushered her into a cramped, windowless conference room at California State Prison, Sacramento. She sat at a wooden table and leafed through the pages of photographs, her chest tight as she recalled the moment each picture was taken: Danny dancing. Danny getting married. Danny playing with their daughters. When Dave Mancini* shuffled in, accompanied by a correctional officer, Patty was struck by how frail he looked. His blue uniform hung from his skinny frame, and his face, accented by a graying mustache, was drawn. He seemed as anxious as she was—and far…

The color of the tag on your store-bought bread … … Tells grocers what day of the week the bread was shipped. Bread is usually delivered fresh to stores five days a week—Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday—and each day has its own colored tag or twist tie. Though some companies use their own system, this common code is easy to remember: Just as the days of the week proceed in order from Monday to Saturday, their corresponding colors proceed in alphabetical order—blue, green, red, white, yellow. The perforations on the sides of your aluminumwrap container … … Are called end locks and, when pushed in, are meant to keep your roll secure inside the box. Many similar kitchen products, such as plastic wrap, come equipped with the same feature…

MY WIFE, a phlebotomist at the Denver VA hospital, entered a patient’s room to draw blood. Noticing an apple on his nightstand, she remarked, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, right?” “That’s true,” he agreed. “I haven’t seen a doctor in three days.” LARRY JENSEN, Englewood, Colorado WHEN I LOST MY RIFLE, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. Comedian DICK GREGORY MY HIGH SCHOOL assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, “Did you ever kill anyone?” Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, “Probably. I was the cook.” MARIAN BABULA, Penn…

ON THANKSGIVING weekend, the Heffelmire family gathered for a meal at their expansive three-story home in Vienna, Virginia. After dinner, Charlotte, 19; her mother, Darmie, 54; her three-month-old niece, Mirae; and two family friends went down to the finished basement to relax. Charlotte’s father, Eric, 55, holed up in the garage to tinker with his truck, a silver GNC Sierra. Around 8 p.m., Charlotte decided to check on her dad. She went upstairs and walked through the kitchen, the aroma of turkey and dressing still in the air. When she opened the side door to the garage, black smoke billowed into the kitchen. She could barely make out her father lying on his back, trapped under the truck. He’d removed the front passenger-side tire and raised the truck on a…

IT’S A SATURDAY morning, and I am eager to fly away. My husband and I will meet up with our son on the other side of the country to learn and explore together. Sitting now at the airport gate, my husband wanders away to stretch his legs. Moments later, he returns and whispers in my ear. I rise and follow him around the corner toward a large window facing the landing area. A crowd, solemn and still, gathers at the window and gazes out. Now I am one of those peering in silence. On the tarmac, Marines stand straight and tall in formation, the plane door open, a ramp waiting. A white hearse is parked nearby. A man and a soldier stand on either side of a woman, supporting her,…

A SOLDIER’S SURPRISE It is spring of 1943 during World War II. Standing among hundreds of new soldiers at Camp Grant, in Illinois, my father, Sam, just 18 years old, waits as a truck slowly drives by. A full field pack is randomly tossed to each soldier. “How strange,” my father thinks, as he sees his last name, Litrenti, marked on each item in his pack. “How did they know it was me when they tossed the pack?” He was impressed! Beating all odds, my father was tossed a field pack from World War I—his own father’s. GAIL LITRENTI-BENEDETTO, Park Ridge, I l linois SMOKE SIGNALS On a cool night lit only by the orange glow of fire, we rushed to my grandfather’s home as his decades-old barn burned to…

MR. DWYER isn’t my patient, but since I’m covering for my partner in our family practice office, he has been slipped into my schedule. A tall, lanky man with an air of quiet dignity, Mr. Dwyer is 88. His legs are swollen, and merely talking makes him short of breath. He suffers from congestive heart failure and renal failure, a medical Catch-22: When one condition is treated and gets better, the other gets worse. His past year has been an endless cycle of medication adjustments from dueling specialists, punctuated by emergency room visits and hospitalizations. With us is Mr. Dwyer’s daughter, Karen, who has driven from Philadelphia, an hour away. She seems dutiful but wary, awaiting the clinical wisdom of yet another doctor. After 30 years of practice, I know…

“When a ring threatens to cut off circulation to a swelling finger, you have to get that tiny tourniquet off any way you can,” says James Hubbard, MD, MPH, author of The Survival Doctor’s Complete Handbook: What to Do When Help Is Not on the Way. Before you buy a ring cutter or draft an apology letter to your beloved, first check your bathroom cabinet for a carton of dental floss. That little spool of string might just be your salvation. What to do: 1. Ice the finger for five minutes to decrease swelling. 2. Slather a lubricant such as soap, grease, or lotion all over the finger to help the ring slide. 3. Tear off a foot or two of dental floss or another strong string. 4. Poke one…

Bagpipes Are Scottish Sorry, Braveheart fans: They were prevalent in the Middle East centuries before Western Europe. SOS = “Save Our Ship” It doesn’t stand for anything. SOS became a Morse code distress signal because it’s so easy to transmit: three dots, three dashes, three dots. Your Hair and Nails Keep Growing After Death Wrong—but your skin tissue does recede, making them appear longer. Adam and Eve Ate an Apple They ate the forbidden “fruit” of the tree of knowledge— nowhere in Genesis does it say it was an apple. Toads Cause Warts Humans can catch warts only from other humans. Those bumps on toads are just their skin glands. Celebrities Die in Threes Of 449 celebs who have died since 1990, only in seven cases did three die in…

Dear Mrs. D., I’m sorry I haven’t done my homework, but my homework diary is currently full, and I’m not looking to take on anything else right now. Dear Mrs. D., Sorry it has taken me so long to reply to your request. As you can imagine, I am swamped here by many similar inquiries— everyone wants homework, it seems! If you haven’t heard from me within a few weeks, then please presume that I am not interested at this time. Dear Mrs. D., Thank you for your engagement in my education. My interest was piqued by your task, and though I unfortunately won’t be completing it on this occasion, I liked the idea of it, and of you, enough to take a look at any future homework you might…

WANT TO GET NOTICED BY FACEBOOK? Hack the site and redesign some profiles to look like MySpace profiles. That’s what Chris Putnam of Austin, Texas, did. When the subterfuge was discovered, executives at Facebook experienced the three stages of What the … !!! First they were pissed off. Then they were sort of impressed. That segued into, “Hey, let’s hire him!” And they did. WHO DOESN’T LOVE CHOCOLATE? That’s what Nick Begley thought. So he designed his résumé to look like a chocolate-bar wrapper and folded it around Nestlé Crunch bars. He called it a ResumeBar, with the tagline: “Credentials that will satisfy any organization’s appetite.” One sated organization offered Nick a job. IF CHOCOLATE DOESN’T WORK, you can always get your future boss plastered. Unemployed graphic designer Brennan Gleason…

1 We fall asleep. It’s rare, but it does happen. Staring at the water in the bright sun can be mind-numbing. In my seven years of lifeguarding, I’ve had to discipline two lifeguards who fell asleep on the stand—but to be honest, they weren’t fired. 2 Parents, you need to pay attention too. About a third of drowning deaths in the United States occur at lifeguarded pools, according to one report. Sitting nearby, looking at your phone, isn’t good enough. A child can drown in the time it takes you to text someone back. 3 Please, stop talking. We’re supposed to listen politely, but your chitchat is distracting. When I’m on the stand, I’m scanning the area and taking head counts. 4 We get excited when we hear thunder. It…

NO OFFENSE TO YOU, but scientists have found that mosquitoes may find your feet as alluring as Limburger cheese. If that’s you, don’t fret—it doesn’t mean you’re not washing them enough. Mosquitoes are simply enchanted by certain DNA. A research team out of London recently investigated the genetic role in mosquito attraction by testing the bite appeal of 18 identical and 19 fraternal pairs of female twins. In a series of tests, 20 hungry mosquitoes were released into the end of a Y-shaped tube and allowed to choose whether to follow their noses left or right. Down either path was one twin’s hand, releasing its delicious natural odors but protected from bites behind a mesh screen. After testing all 37 twin pairs, scientists found that the identical twins had consistently…

1. cryptology (krip-'tah-luh-jee) n.—A: raiding of tombs. B: series of puzzles. C: study of codes. 2. empathetic (em-puh-'theh-tik) adj.—A: showing understanding or sensitivity. B: sad. C: numb. 3. ovoid ('oh-voyd) adj.—A: eggshaped. B: empty. C: passionate. 4. deify ('dee-uh-fiy) v.—A: treat as a god. B: bring back to life. C: disregard. 5. perspicacious (puhr-spuh-'kay-shuhs) adj.—A: finicky. B: of acute mental vision. C: fortunate or lucky. 6. indigenous (in-'dih-juh-nuhs) adj.—A: poor. B: native. C: mixed. 7. herbicide ('er-buh-siyd) n.— A: greenhouse. B: skin lotion. C: agent used to inhibit or kill plant growth. 8. pachyderm ('pa-kih-duhrm) n.—A: elephant. B: jellyfish. C: butterfly. 9. Kafkaesque (kahf-kuh-'esk) adj.—A: nightmarishly complex. B: gigantic. C: left-wing. 10. atrophy ('a-truh-fee) v.— A: waste away. B: win a prize. C: speak out against. 11. knavish ('nay-vish) adj.—…

VICTORY GOES TO THE PLAYER WHO MAKES THE NEXTTO-LAST MISTAKE. SAVIELLY TARTAKOWER, chess master “Be like a duck. Calm on the surface but always paddling like the dickens underneath. MICHAEL CAINE, actor The opposite of play is not work. The opposite of play is depression. BRIAN SUTTON-SMITH, scholar THE AX FORGETS; THE TREE REMEMBERS. AFRICAN PROVERB I have accomplished nothing without a little taste of fear in my mouth. BEYONCÉ, pop star and mogul WORRY DOES NOT EMPTY TOMORROW OF ITS SORROW; IT EMPTIES TODAY OF ITS STRENGTH. CORRIE TEN BOOM, humanitarian A psychiatrist once said that I gambled in order to escape the reality of life. I told him that’s why everybody does everything. NORM MACDONALD, comedian…