Reader's Digestの February 2014 の目次

This Herring Says I Love You THE ODORIFEROUS DISH of creamy pickled herring sat in the center of my grandmother’s Christmas Eve table every year. My little sister and I would giggle and gag. Guest boyfriends would stare in horror. Look closely, I told one, and you’ll see the iridescent blue. Those are the scales. “That’s for your father,” Gomama always said. (Gomama was my Hamburgborn grandmother—as a toddler, I couldn’t pronounce grossmutter.) We’d happily pass the bowl to Dad, who took a heaping portion and ate every last bite. Sometimes he asked for seconds. To secure the right jar, Gomama made a special trip to Hansa Haus, Cleveland’s best German grocery store. Thing was, my father hated fish, and my grandmother couldn’t stomach mayonnaise. Why the herring charade? The…

WHEN JULIE WEISS lost her father, Maurice, in 2010, just 35 days after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, she was devastated. “Research for pancreatic cancer is so underfunded, and it made me feel helpless,” she says. “I knew I had to do something.” So this marathon queen, as she calls herself, did what she knows how to do best: She went running. Having already completed 25 marathons during the previous two years, Julie now vowed to run 52 marathons in 52 weeks in honor of her father. After asking people to pledge money for each marathon, she set up a website, marathongoddess.com, to collect the pledges and other donations for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (PANCAN), a nonprofit organization. Julie, 43, began her 52-marathon odyssey in Rome in March…

…finish my novel. DAWN JOHNSON-DEAL …clear my Internet history. MONICA ANGUIANO …adopt an old, neglected dog and pamper the heck out of him for the rest of his life. SHIRLEY ZINDLER …really live, not just exist. DONNA MUELLER CLOUD …contribute something meaningful and fun. And see the aurora borealis. ANGELA SARA JIMENEZ …eat more shrimp and bacon. ZAC GENTRY …hold each of my loved ones’ hands, look them in the eye, and tell them that I love them dearly and that my life is so much better with them in it. CINDY O’LEARY …be able to legally marry in all 50 states. GINNY RAINBOW …live by the sea. JON WILLIAM …milk a cow by hand. DEANNA MORRIS …meet Neil Diamond. STEPHANIE MILLER …have an affair with Johnny Depp! MICHELE DONLON…

SINCE STARTING his career at NBC in 1980, Bob Costas has reported on the World Series, the NBA finals, the Super Bowl, the Kentucky Derby, and the U.S. Open golf tournament, among other definitive sports events, all with a calm demeanor, a sly humor, and an encyclopedic knowledge. This month, he hosts his tenth Olympics, leading coverage of the Winter Games in Sochi, Russia. For 18 days, he’ll entertain, emcee, and tell stories. The cornerstones of Costas’s reputation are asking probing questions and never censoring his subjects—or himself. In 2012, he won an Emmy for Outstanding Interview for his revealing conversation with former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky. That same year, he ruffled feathers with commentary on gun control at halftime during a Sunday Night Football game. So…

LEMONS These citrus fruits will be everywhere: You’ll find ’em preserved, in yogurts, and starring in pastries. “They evoke memories of lemonade stands and Grandma’s lemon bars,” says Kazia Jankowski, associate culinary director of the Sterling-Rice Group, a leading global food consulting firm. TRY IT: “Use lemon juice to give heavier sides, like braised kale or couscous, a lighter feeling,” says Jeremy Leech, executive chef at the restaurant chain Fresh & Co. Or experiment by adding lemon zest to pancake batter for a fun breakfast twist. EGG YOLKS Don’t toss your yolks after making meringue or an egg white omelet! Yolks bring richness to dishes that previously relied on cheese or cream. Says Lucas Billheimer, executive chef of New York City’s Writing Room, “There’s a resurgence in using egg yolks,…

• CLEAN A KEYBOARD Moisten a cotton swab, and gently dab laptop keys to restore them to their original condition. • RESTORE FLOORS Pour onto a paper towel, and wipe away unsightly shoe marks on tile, laminate, and concrete floors (avoid using on wood). • REJUVENATE STAINED CHINA Soak an old cloth, then dab coffee-or teastained areas; rinse with soap and water. Avoid decorative patterns, which could be ruined. • SHINE SHOES Saturate a paper towel, and wipe footwear until any scuffs or stains disappear. Use a damp cloth to remove leftover residue. • ERASE SUPERGLUE To dissolve heavy-duty adhesive from skin, soak a cotton swab, and rub it onto the sticky area. • REVIVE A WATCH To remove cuts and dings from a plastic watch cover, use a cotton…

Make a Sweet Photo Album Lovestagram does your romantic bidding. The simple-to-use valentine creator generates a heartfelt story line out of shared Instagram photos. You choose the images, and it designs a digital album to send to your sweetheart. Put It into Words Compose your own love poem—one that’s actually good—via the Instant Poetry HD app, or create and print personalized coupons through americangreetings.com. Nurture the Flame If you’re in a long-term relationship, the Icebreak for Couples app is a good option. It prompts you and your significant other to take surveys together, share sketches or photographs, and report special moments once a day, all of which can help you stay close. Get Flowers Fast Try the website subscription service H.Bloom. Last year, it offered a Hero bouquet of red…

I STARED AT 250 YOUNG FACES as I stood at the front of a giant circular auditorium. I was about to deliver a lecture on preventive cardiology to the second-year medical students at Wayne State University School of Medicine. They were well educated in determining cholesterol-lowering drugs and even performing bypass surgery. But how to ensure that a patient never ends up in a cardiologist’s office in the first place? This had never been taught. I was thrilled that the medical school had made such a historic change in its curriculum and had tapped me, a professor of medicine, to help put that change into effect. But how would I ever condense everything I knew about preventing heart disease into a lecture that lasted not even one hour? I can’t…

HE WROTE TO SANTA Eight-year-old Ryan Suffern didn’t ask for toys or gadgets in his letter to Santa last year. Instead, he made a simple plea for his twin sister, Amber. “I wanted a remote control car and helicopter, but I don’t anymore,” Ryan wrote. “Kids at school are still picking on Amber. I prayed that they [would] stop, but God is busy and needs your help.” CNN got wind of the letter after the twins’ mother, Karen, shared the story on Facebook, and the media attention sparked an outpouring of support. Nickelodeon star Stephen Kramer Glickman sent a video message to the twins, and strangers have donated gifts to the family. When Ryan and Amber went back to their Rocky Mount Prep school in North Carolina after their holiday…

A “Relations” Strike As long as anyone could remember, the lone road that linked the small Colombian village of Barbacaos to the rest of the world had been awful. So bad that it took half a day to make the 35-mile trek to the next town. Demands that the road be fixed went unheeded. The last straw came when a young woman and her unborn child died in an ambulance after it got stuck on the road and couldn’t reach a hospital in time. Women hit the streets last June in a mass protest dubbed “the cross legs movement.” In short, there would be no lovin’ until the road was repaired. Even the town’s mayor fell victim: His wife took to sleeping in another room. It Worked! The strike was…

YOU WILL CLIMB UP INTO THAT TREE, the instructors tell us. All 14 of us. The fact that we have been exercising almost nonstop for the past eight hours doesn’t matter, they say. The fact that it’s raining, it’s 40 degrees, and the tree’s bark and branches are as slick as an unplowed road doesn’t matter, they say. The fact that we are wet, cold, covered in mud, and beyond tired doesn’t matter, they say. The fact that the lowest branch on the tree is at least 15 feet above the ground doesn’t matter. All that matters is getting everyone up the tree—fast—by working as a team. Nothing else matters. We start climbing, and one of our number, a middle-aged man who has traveled all the way from South Africa…

The thing that struck me when I first met my cousin Houston was his size. On the other side of the visitors’ glass, he looked surprisingly small, young for his 22 years. The much more remarkable thing about him turned out to be his vocabulary, vast and lovely, lyrical almost—until it came to an agitated or distracted halt. He seemed altogether unlike a person who had recently murdered someone. The symptoms displayed by Houston in the year preceding this swift and horrific tragedy have since been classified as “a classic onset of schizophrenia.” At the time, it was just an alarming mystery. Houston had been attending Santa Rosa Junior College in Northern California, living with his mom, and playing guitar with his dad when he became withdrawn and depressed. He…

WHEN ASKED BY CONAN O’BRIEN if his daughters had smartphones, comedian Louis CK explained that he had successfully fended them off by simply replying, “No, you can’t have it. It’s bad for you. I don’t care what you want.” He instantly became my hero. This hit home for me because at the time, I was mired in difficult negotiations with my ten-year-old daughter over one. And frankly, she was winning. Was it possible that I could just say no to my daughter, as CK suggested? I hadn’t even known I was allowed to, if the guinea pigs, the dogs, and the basementful of American Girl paraphernalia for her doll Molly were any indication. CK rationalized, “I’m not raising the children—I’m raising the grown-ups that they’re going to be. So just…

SEARCHING FOR FUN dress-up ideas for her daughter Emma’s annual birthday portrait in April, photographer Jaime Moore found countless examples of children decked out as Disney’s Princess Jasmine or Cinderella. “I started thinking about all the real women whom Emma should look up to rather than emulating those characters,” says Moore, from Austin, Texas. So she opted for role models who made history for their amazing accomplishments and values. “Emma’s favorite was Amelia Earhart,” Moore says. “She found flying over the ocean particularly exciting.” Moore hopes that this special experience has taught Emma that “she can be anything she wants to.” As for next year’s portrait, Moore is already brainstorming a whole new roster of female leaders. Her current favorites include Malala Yousafzai, Sally Ride, and Marie Curie.…

THE HUMAN BRAIN Unlock Your Creativity To open your mind, the latest psych studies suggest, you should keep your desk a little messy, work with coffee-shop–level background noise, and surround yourself with the color blue. MOST RETWEETS ON TWITTER ADVICE How Successful People Spend Their Weekends They schedule three to five “anchor” activities, writes timemanagement expert and author Laura Vanderkam. Try it: Even the anticipation should make you happy. HEALTH Maybe It Should Be Renamed Lifesaver Cotton candy can be shaped and then specially coated to create artificial blood vessels, reports NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital. What’s next: Pixy Stix stents? MOST POPULAR ON FACEBOOK EVERYDAY WELLNESS Health Predictions from Birth Order A surprising body of research shows that firstborns are smarter than their younger sibs—and also more prone to food allergies and…

HOLIDAY LAUGHS I really enjoyed reading and rereading “The Chart of Giving” (“Our Joke Editor’s Gift Guide”). Kudos to Doogie Horner. Never did I experience as many belly laughs as with the bingo-like precision of this fun pictorial anecdote. The descriptive infographic took shopping to a whole new level! I plan to pull these pages from Reader’s Digest and store them for future reference. DEBRA DIVINE, Vail, Ar izona RICHES VS. WEALTH Thank you for reprinting the RD Classic “10 Rooms That Should Be in the House of Life.” It struck a deep chord, since I, too, distinguish between riches (money) and wealth (an abundance of what is truly important). Early in my adult life, I decided not to pursue riches at the expense of wealth—my rewards have been beyond…

BEFORE INSTRUCTING YOU on how to create the next ratings-busting, pop-culture-cracking, bazillions-earning sitcom, I offer this cautionary tale: In 1992, when Seinfeld struggled for Wednesday night ratings, “The Virgin” episode featured a plotline in which George Costanza inadvertently caused his girlfriend, Susan, to lose her job. NBC executives took offense, calling George callous and unlikable. The writing staff tinkered, making George more regretful and less unlikable. A mere four years later, when Seinfeld was a hit on Thursdays, an episode called “The Invitations” featured a plotline in which George inadvertently caused Susan to … die. The same executives had no objections. The moral of the story: If you compromise in order to stay on the air, your show may survive long enough to become the sitcom of your dreams. (And…

EACH TIME I HEAR someone say, “Do the math,” I grit my teeth. The phrase reinforces how little awareness there is about the breadth and scope of the subject. Imagine, if you will, using “Do the lit” as an exhortation to spell correctly. As a mathematician, I can attest that my field is about ideas above anything else. Ideas that inform our existence, that permeate our universe and beyond, that can surprise and enthrall. Perhaps the most intriguing of these is the way infinity is harnessed to deal with the finite, in everything from fractals to calculus. Just think about the infinite range of decimal numbers—a wonder product offered by mathematics to satisfy any measurement needed, down to an arbitrary number of digits. Despite what most people suppose, many profound…

The president and I [were talking to guests at a fund-raiser], and they’re holding their smartphone cameras up ... And I said to the president, “You know, the oddest thing about what’s happening right now is that we’ve stopped living our lives, and we’re just recording them.” GEORGE CLOONEY, actor, in Esquire There’s no such thing as a woman, one woman. There are dozens inside every one of them … but what child can see the women inside her mom, what with all that Motherness blocking out everything else? KELLY CORRIGAN, writer, in her book Glitter and Glue Football exerts a remarkable influence on fans. In a recent study, Pierre Chandon, a French marketing professor, examined data from 475 Sunday NFL games. On the Mondays following those same games, he…

Green “Pale green imbues you with a sense of well-being,” says Ryan. Try it out in a master bedroom to create a peaceful sanctuary … and remember to also paint the ceiling! “Peripheral vision is so important, and you don’t want your eyes to stop at the ceiling. It will make the room look much smaller,” Ryan says. Violet Be strategic with this delicate shade. “I love it for a guest room,” says Ryan. “The muted tone is relaxing and will make visitors feel more comfortable.” For a trendy color combination, try accessorizing with chocolate brown pillows and throws. Blue Don’t be afraid to go dark in the paint department, especially with blue. Paint a big swatch—roughly 30 inches by 30 inches—at waist level on a wall. Stop by the…

Go Dogsledding Bond with man’s best friend in Jefferson, New Hampshire, at the Muddy Paw Sled Dog Kennel any time of year. (Sleds have wheels or runners depending on weather conditions.) Guides encourage families with kids ages two and up to “meet the dogs, help harness and hitch the team, and even help drive the sled,” says familyvacationcritic.com. Choose from trips and tours that last for several hours, a full day, or overnight. Rides start at $300 per sled; call for rolling-sled prices; dogslednh.com. Take the Ride(s) Of Your Life Visit Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio, for an underappreciated place to seek thrills. “Even though it’s located off the beaten track, experts (like those at Amusement Today) regularly praise Cedar Point as the best overall theme park in the country,”…

• UNCLOG A CHARGING PORT Over time, your charger may not fit as well into the port. Try this simple fix: Use a sharp toothpick to remove lint and dirt from the port. • CLEAN UP FUZZY NOISE Turned off by inferior sound when you plug speakers into your headphone jack? To improve audio quality, stick a cotton swab into the jack and use it to clear out any gunk. • REPLACE A SHATTERED SCREEN Replacing your phone’s screen is actually pretty easy. All you need is some tools and a little courage. Get instructions and a repair kit online at a site like icracked.com. • RESURRECT A SOAKED PHONE If your phone takes an unexpected swim, remove the battery (if possible), and place the device in a bag of…

BLOOD PRESSURE? Check. Weight? Check. Pee in a cup? Check. Seeing an eye doctor regularly? Patients may be caught off guard if their doctor asks the last question during an annual checkup. Here’s why we inquire. The retina, or the back of the eye, is the only place in your body that gives doctors a closeup view of your blood vessels and nerves without your needing to be cut open. This makes a routine eye exam very useful for detecting important medical issues at their earliest stages. We asked some of our trusted eye-care experts to tell us which conditions they may help diagnose during your regular exam. Cancer An eye exam may save your life. We can find everything from brain tumors to breast and lung cancers that have…

THE BEST MEDICINE I ATE A GLUTEN-FREE, lactose-free, low-carb pizza for dinner tonight. (It was a raw tomato.) @SAMIR TWO BABIES are sitting in their cribs, when one baby asks the other, “Are you a little girl or a little boy?” The other baby shrugs. “I don’t know how to tell the difference.” “I do,” says the first baby. He carefully climbs out of his crib and into the other crib, then disappears beneath the blankets. After a few seconds, he resurfaces. “You’re a little girl, and I’m a little boy,” he says. “How can you tell?” “Easy. You’ve got pink booties, and I’ve got blue ones.” IT WOULD BE KINDA embarrassing trying to explain what an appetizer is to someone from a starving country. “Yeah, the appetizer. That’s the…

J JAY, AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD boy with autism whose behavior has always been agitated and uncooperative, is smiling and splashing in a pool. A pair of bottlenose dolphins float next to him, supporting him in the water. Jay’s parents stand nearby as a staff member in the water engages Jay in games with colorful shapes. She asks him some questions, and the boy begins to respond. He names the shapes correctly, speaking his first words in months. Jay appears more aware and alert, and a quick, noninvasive scan shows that there have indeed been changes in his brain activity. Jay’s parents are elated to have finally found a treatment that works for their son. They sign up for more sessions and can’t wait to get home and tell their friends about…

Physical training can help set you up for success, but mental training is just as essential. Former Navy commander Mark Divine has taken the mental exercises and routines used by the U.S. Navy SEALs and adapted them for anyone who wants to develop courage, perseverance, and uncanny intuition. • FOR ULTIMATE CALM: STILL WATER RUNS DEEP Envision sitting at the bottom of a deep pond. Remain serene as you look up at the clear, sparkling surface. Inhale deeply, and then count each slow exhale. Your objective: Get to ten without any conscious thought. If you start thinking about a project or task, let the thought float to the surface and dissolve; then start the count over. Practice for five to 15 minutes daily. • FOR MENTAL TOUGHNESS: EMBRACE THE SUCK…

VISITORS to the zoo in Luohe, China, noticed something odd about the lion: It was actually a Tibetan mastiff that appeared to be made up to pass for a big cat. “I had my young son with me, so I tried to play along and told him it was a special kind of lion,” said one mother, according to reports. The jig was up when the “lion” barked. Source: web.orange.co.uk THE FIRST THING Marion Webster, of Solihull, England, did after finding her garden decimated was to march over to her neighbor’s flower bed and pull out all the pansies and roses and anything remotely planty. Why? Webster was reportedly convinced that her neighbor had grown so jealous of her beautiful garden that she’d trained a squirrel to destroy it. Source:…

FROM SLATE.COM COULD LOUIS CK be right that smartphones are the devil’s playthings? His sermon on the couch begins by parroting a concern that has become a staple of daytime talk shows—that social media contaminate our children, erode their social skills, and will produce a generation of nearsociopaths. The problem is, recent research doesn’t support the claim. A survey conducted in 2010 by Stanford professors showed that eight-to 12-year-old girls who spent lots of hours buried in their smartphones weren’t less likely than their peers to hang out with friends in person—and girls who liked to go out in groups were not less inclined to text or send instant messages. True, the survey did find that having face-to-face communication made kids feel more “normal” and socially successful. But sending texts…

IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR 1. levitate (’le-vih-tayt) v.—A: defy gravity. B: weave spells. C: disappear. 2. clairvoyant (klayr-’voy-ent) adj.—A: in a trance. B: ghostly. C: seeing beyond ordinary perception. 3. planchette (plan-’shet) n.—A: sorcerer’s cloak. B: Ouija board pointer. C: mischievous fairy. 4. mojo (’moh-joh) n.—A: book of secrets. B: magical spell. C: mantra. 5. telekinetic (te-leh-kih-’neh-tik) adj.—A: predicting the future. B: calling on ghosts. C: using mind over matter. 6. voilà (vwah-’lah) interj.—A: “Begone!” B: “There it is!” C: “Open!” 7. whammy (’wa-mee) n.—A: trapdoor. B: illusion. C: hex or curse. 8. soothsaying (’sooth-say-ing) n.—A: prophecy. B: recitation of chants. C: revelation of a trick. 9. mesmerized (’mez-meh-riyzd) adj.—A: sawed in half. B: hypnotized. C: turned to pixie dust. 10. augur (’ah-ger) v.—A: serve as an omen. B:…

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us—and, sometimes, they win. STEPHEN KING WHEN YOU ARE ACTUALLY POWERFUL, YOU DON’T NEED TO BE PETTY. JON STEWART I have this rule I live by: Only do what you can do. That means you’re never looking outside for what’s popular; you’re always looking inside for what’s true. DELIA EPHRON, screenwri ter Even when I’m playing someone named Fat Amy, I’m all about confidence and attitude. REBEL WILSON, comedian Study after study has documented that when women have the opportunity to start businesses, own land, [and] receive credit … entire economies expand. HILLARY CLINTON YOU NEVER LOSE A DREAM. IT JUST INCUBATES AS A HOBBY. LARRY PAGE, cofounder of Google Think about winning the day … If you are…

The Man Who Fought the Tide AFTER SIX HOURS of fishing on Maryland’s Chesapeake Bay, 46-yearold John Franklin Riggs and his sister Contessa, 43, were ready to call it a day. It was nearing 7 p.m., the sun was setting, and the croakers had stopped biting. But their father, John senior, said, “Let’s do just one more run.” Since it was his dad’s 70th birthday, John figured he’d indulge him. Gunning the motor on the 16-foot skiff they called the Bathtub, the younger man turned the boat around and headed back toward Tangier Sound. The kids—Contessa’s three-year-old son, Conrad, and their sister April’s nine-year-old daughter, Emily—were having so much fun, and the mild weather was holding out. Why not? The anglers hadn’t yet cast their lines when high waves began…

THROUGH THE floor-to-ceiling windows of the building across the street from his, New York City photographer Arne Svenson watched his neighbors going about their daily routines—sipping coffee, reading the newspaper, napping. He saw a woman twirling her hair, illuminated by lamplight, and a dog gazing out the window at the busy street below. Svenson watched these activities with his camera, too, shooting dozens of pictures in 2012, many of which ended up in a gallery as a photo show called, you guessed it, The Neighbors. The neighbors themselves first learned of their starring roles in Svenson’s pictures after one couple, Martha and Matthew Foster, happened upon a newspaper review of Svenson’s show, which included images of the Fosters and their children, their faces and partially clad bodies easily discernible. Just…

IN THESE UNITED STATES MY DAUGHTER SAID something to me that I didn’t think was very polite. I told her she needed to say it again in a nicer way—so she repeated it with a British accent. From lamebook.com I WAS VISITING my mother one day, when she passed the candy dish full of chocolates and took one for herself. “I thought your doctor told you to stop eating candy,” I said. “Oh, I don’t have to listen to him anymore,” she replied. “Why not?” “He died.” ROBERT ORTON, Highlands Ranch, Colorado IT’S EASY TO GET disoriented when visiting New York City. One befuddled tourist asked his hotel concierge, “The last time we were in NYC, we got out of a subway, and we saw some water and some boats.…

IF YOUR AMBITION is to lead a satisfying life, your best bet is to cultivate connection. Studies show that people who enjoy rich ties with friends and family are happier, have fewer health problems, and are more resilient. When it comes to relationship advice, it’s also wise to approach conventional wisdom with a critical eye. We’ve culled the data, consulted the experts, and arrived at five essential lessons that depart from hand-me-down norms. LESSON #1 Radical Acceptance Saves the Day The idea that we can fix perceived flaws in our partners, friends, parents, and grown children remains tantalizing. Decades ago, the musical Guys and Dolls lampooned this notion with the lyrics, “Marry the man today, and change his ways tomorrow.” A healthy dose of ego often convinces us that our…

OPT FOR NATURAL LIGHT Before you take a picture, turn off all the lights. I pull up the shades, tie back the curtains, and shoot before four in the afternoon so that the sun isn’t too low. Natural light makes everything look crisper, brighter, and so much better. LOOK WITH YOUR LENS Take a trial photograph of each space you want to feature, and examine the image on the camera’s preview screen. (Would a vertical shot be better than a horizontal one? Are there any cords and wires poking out? Is there way too much clutter?) Critiquing photos on your camera may help you notice problems. TAKE A KNEE Unless you’re about four foot five, you’re probably not photographing your space at an optimal angle. Take wider shots from a…

I RECENTLY TRAVELED to San Francisco for some meetings and found myself with a half day to kill. My options: The 49ers’ first game of the season, against the Green Bay Packers. The America’s Cup sailing races. Or I could get lost. After a horrendously long line at the car rental center, I was free. So I disappeared into the fog and clouds shrouding the Pacific Coast Highway and headed south with absolutely no destination in mind. I drove through tunnels carved out of the mountains and stopped at a few state beaches; at one, I watched a wedding out on the cliffs among the crashing waves. Back in the car, I drove toward San Gregorio, a town that you can easily miss. I know because I drove right through…

FOR MUCH OF HER bartending shift, my wife had to contend with a rowdy customer. At the end of the night, he demanded, “Where’s the bathroom!?” “Go down the hallway, and you’ll see a door marked gentlemen,” she said. “But don’t let that deter you.” JASON DAVID, Hertfordshire, England MY COUSIN ONCE called in sick to work because of a “death in the family.” I was her boss. IT’S WINTER BREAK time, and a lot of people will be traveling. Which means it’s also a great time to be the person who gets to approve visa requests, like these handed in by travelers to England. • "I want to be closer to Elton John. He doesn’t come to Togo. Do you see him much in Britain?" • "Do you know…

NEWS FROM THE Doc, Are Your Hands Clean? One third of patients surveyed at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center said they didn’t see doctors wash their hands, even though the practice is a major way to control infections in health-care settings. But nearly two thirds of those patients didn’t challenge the doctor about it. Too shy to speak up? Say something like “I’m embarrassed to ask you this, but would you mind cleaning your hands before you begin?” Why We Love a Baby’s Smell Feel like you could “just eat up” a newborn? Scientists recently monitored the brains of 30 women as they sniffed newborns’ undershirts; half had recently given birth, and half never had. As the women smelled the newborn scent, all their brains showed activity in the…

THERE IS NO WARNING, just a sickening lurch upward as we abandon our flight path. A red light goes on in the cockpit. The instruments say we’re over Kabul, Afghanistan, where we’re supposed to be landing, only now we’re climbing—and we’re doing it too fast and too steep. “What’s going on?” I ask in Russian. “Missiles,” shouts a crew member, Sergei, over the scream of the battered Ilyushin-Il-76—the Soviet-era cargo plane they’ve flown since their Red Army days. Under my feet, the gaffer-taped, 20-year-old jet groans and pops. “Here’s where they start shooting.” For the first time, I notice he stinks, not just of sweat and oil but of booze. “Jesus! Who?” I ask. He shrugs. “Mujahideen. Rebels. Soldiers. Mikhail is a top pilot. He knows the airstrip from the…

NFL LOL Anyone who’s just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do jazz hands. CRAIG FERGUSON The rules of football and the plot of The Godfather are the two most complicated things that every guy understands no matter how dumb he is. JULIAN MCCULLOUGH My dad didn’t text me after the Patriots game, which is basically a Life Alert signal if you’re from New England. @JOSHGONDELMAN Anyone who thinks women talk too much has never sat through a six-hour Super Bowl pregame show. NORA BARRY It’s weird that NFL players don’t constantly look at their phones to check their stats. @SHAWNRIES I prefer the tight yoga pants football players wear over the frumpy businesswoman slacks baseball players wear. @QUINNK…

ON MY MANY EXCURSIONS into Saks Fifth Avenue in New York City over the years, I’ve bought countless pairs of shoes that brightened my mood, picked out dresses that (sometimes) flattered my figure, and turned over my credit card for too many cosmetics that I’d hoped would make me look like a fresher, prettier version of myself. But one afternoon in October 2002, I walked out of the store with something more valuable than anything money could buy. I found hope in the unlikeliest of places after months of despair, thanks to a woman who decided to strike up a conversation with me in the store’s café. It was a painful time for me. Married a little over two years, I’d suffered three devastating miscarriages in nine months and, at…

Photograph by Moby Chosen by Markus Spiering Head of Product at Flickr “I follow other musicians on Flickr, but Moby’s photos are unique. This one [shot at the Coachella Festival in Indio, California] is well made, but it also reflects authenticity. You know, when, as an artist, you go out onstage and something is going to happen, you approach the microphone in the center of the stage, and the crowd is cheering and excited and holding up their phones to take pictures—to see a show from the artist’s perspective is pretty fantastic! I wish that when I gave a presentation, this would happen to me!”…

DO YOU walk into the supermarket to pick up just a few things but leave with a trunk full of food, an eye-popping bill, and an urgent need for a nap? It’s no wonder. With about 40,000 products in today’s typical grocery store, the industry is using more tricks than ever to get you to buy more than you had planned. And if you know what to look for, you might find that food safety and hygiene have fallen by the wayside in some stores. We asked 16 grocery experts, including industry analysts and store employees, to share their insider strategies to save money, stay healthy, and beat supermarkets at their own game. Our Newest Tricks 1 We’re very aware of the role that the senses play in marketing. When…

MY FATHER was transferred to a new Navy base when I was four, so my parents quizzed me about our address. After I recited it perfectly, the test continued. “City?” they asked. “Memphis,” I answered. “State?” “Tennessee.” “Country?” “’Tis of thee.” JENNIFER KIRKSEY, Freedom, California THE ARMED FORCES have a language all their own. Here’s our Military-to-English Dictionary: Birth control glasses (BCGs): military-issued eyeglasses noted for their unappealing appearance. Gone Elvis: missing in action. Latrinegram: unfounded rumor. Moo juice: milk. Repeaters: beans and cabbage. Self-loading cargo: passengers on a transport aircraft. Stupid o’clock: ridiculously early in the morning. Volun-told: an “optional” event that one is actually required to attend. Send us your funniest military anecdote or news story—it might be worth $100! See page 7 for details.…