Reader's Digestの September 2019 の目次

IF YOU COULD have any three things, what would you want?” Eleven-year-old Ruby Kate Chitsey loves asking that question, but it’s not a game she plays at recess. She asks it at nursing homes in the Harrison, Arkansas, area, where she lives. Even more amazing, she then sets out to make the residents’ wishes come true. Ruby Kate has long been close to older folks. Her mother, Amanda Chitsey, is a nurse practitioner who works at nursing homes in northwest Arkansas, and Ruby Kate often tags along with her in the summer. “I’ve never found them scary at all, so I’m able to just go up to them and ask if they need anything,” she says. Last May, Ruby Kate noticed a resident named Pearl staring out a window. She…

IN 1963, AT AGE 65, my grandfather, Erwin, decided to tackle a crazy project: He wanted to build a new house. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with the old house. It seemed a waste to demolish it, but something had to give, since it sat where the new house would be. In a moment of inspired frugality, he hired a bulldozer to push the old house far out into a grove of trees. That old house sits there to this very day. Erwin and his wife, Elida, passed away, and I purchased the farm from their estate. My wife and I raised our sons on this place and have lived here for more than 30 years. When we first moved in, my wife took one look at the…

IT WAS ONLY a dollar. Dylan Belscher noticed it on the floor as he sat at the back of his English class at John F. Kennedy High School in Cheektowaga, New York, in March 2018. When the school day ended, Belscher wandered back to the classroom. The wrinkled old bill was still there. He could easily have pocketed it without thinking twice. Instead, he picked it up and brought it to his English teacher, Katie Mattison. “It wasn’t my money,” Belscher says, which he sees as ample explanation. Mattison, 54, was a little surprised he’d turned the dollar in, knowing a lot of people would have just kept it. She suggested that Belscher tape it to the whiteboard at the front of the classroom, where she always puts lost things.…

In a 1920 prototype of Reader’s Digest, film legend Charlie Chaplin shared the surprising minimalist craft that went into his Hollywood hits. “To make an audience roar is the ambition of many actors, but I prefer to spread the laughs out. It is much better when there is a continual ripple of amusement, with one or two big ‘stomach laughs,’ than when an audience ‘explodes’ every minute or two. Restraint is a great word, not only for actors but also for everybody to remember. Restraint of tempers, appetites, desires, bad habits, and so on, is a mighty good thing to cultivate.”…

IN 1968, I was a student at the Levon & Sophia Hagopian Armenian High School in Beirut. When the time came to register for tenth grade, I went to the principal’s office and told the staff my parents could not pay the tuition. Although I was the top student in my class, I was sent home. This was a heartbreaking experience, as I loved being in school and desperately wanted to continue my education. I went home and spent the day helping my father at his tire-repair shop. He could barely earn enough to pay the tuition of my two siblings. A very old man saw me in the shop and wondered why I was not in school. I told him I was sent home because of lack of funding.…

It was late—an indistinguishable, bleary-eyed hour. In front of me was a large dog, snapping his jaws so hard that his teeth gave a loud clack with each bark. His eyes were locked on me, desperate for the toy I was holding. But he wasn’t playing—he was freaking out. As I cautiously held my ground, his bark morphed from a yelp to a shout. Then he gave a rumbling growl. That was when my trepidation gave way to something far more primal: fear. This was no ordinary dog. Dyngo, a ten-year-old Belgian Malinois, had been trained to propel his 87-pound body toward insurgents, locking his jaws around them. He’d served three tours in Afghanistan, weathering grenade blasts and firefights. This dog had saved thousands of lives. Now he was in…

While serving on the USS Fulton (AS-11), in New London, Connecticut, a fellow sailor and I were topside. He leaned over the railing and opened his mouth to say something. As he did, his uppers fell out and sank to the bottom of the Thames River. He didn’t seem too bothered, though. “That’s OK,” he said. “My serial number’s engraved on them.” —PAVEL WILSON Old Saybrook, Connecticut When my daughter had her baby, I flew down to the Naval Air Station in Kingsville, Texas, where her husband was stationed, to help. My first job was to figure out why there was no hot water. I found the water heater and soon discovered the problem—it was set too low. So I raised it. My daughter was so impressed she bragged to…

THE SOUND THAT woke Damian Languell at 8:15 in the morning was so loud he assumed it came from inside his house in Wade, Maine. As he got up to investigate, he heard another sound, this one coming most definitely from outside. Peering out his bedroom window, he spied a tree engulfed in smoke about 500 yards away. A car was wrapped around the tree’s base, its engine on fire. “I grabbed buckets of water,” Languell told thecounty.me. Then he and his girlfriend ran to the crash site. The wreck looked worse up close. The car, a 1998 Buick Regal, was split nearly in two, and the tree was where the driver’s seat ought to have been, as if planted there. No one should have survived this crash, and yet…

It’s a myth that you can’t have it all … You can have it all—just maybe not all at the same time.—Eva Longoria, ACTOR Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.—Mary Oliver, POET People always say to me, “Why are you in such good shape?” and I always answer, “If I told you that you were going to be on film on a 40-foot screen with your shirt off, you’d be in good shape too.”—Hugh Jackman, ACTOR A smile is truly the best thing you can put on your face.—Christie Brinkley, MODEL I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go into the library and read a good book.—Groucho Marx, COMEDIAN A joke is truth concentrate—the most amount of truth in the shortest amount…

While it’s still in the pan, poke a 9-by-13-inch sponge cake all over with a paring knife. (You can use a store-bought cake placed on a rimmed half-sheet pan.) In a medium bowl, whisk together one 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk, one 12-ounce can evaporated milk, and 1 cup whole milk or heavy cream. Pour the milk mixture all over the cake to soak it thoroughly (be generous with the mixture, though you may not need all of it). Cover and refrigerate for at least two hours and up to overnight. Before serving, whip 1 pint heavy cream (very lightly sweetened with confectioners’ sugar, if desired), then spread on top of the soaked cake (you may have a little extra whipped cream). Top with a dusting of cinnamon or fresh…

Urgency Frequency Leakage In clinical trials, those taking Myrbetriq made fewer trips to the bathroom and had fewer leaks than those not taking Myrbetriq. Your results may vary. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OAB SYMPTOMS BY TALKING TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT MYRBETRIQ TODAY. USE OF MYRBETRIQ (meer-BEH-trick) Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) is a prescription medicine for adults used to treat overactive bladder (OAB) with symptoms of urgency, frequency and leakage. IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION Myrbetriq is not for everyone. Do not take Myrbetriq if you have an allergy to mirabegron or any ingredients in Myrbetriq. Myrbetriq may cause your blood pressure to increase or make your blood pressure worse if you have a history of high blood pressure. It is recommended that your doctor check your blood pressure while you are taking Myrbetriq. Myrbetriq…

Dress to Impress I’m 82 and like to dress nicely whenever I go out. One morning, I donned a new peach-hued golf shirt and navy-blue Bermudas. I thought I looked pretty sharp. While standing in line at the deli counter, an attractive young woman approached me and asked, “Do you mind if I take a picture?” Surprised and flattered, I replied, “Of course not.” As I struck a casual pose and gave her a wide smile, she took a picture of my flashy four-wheel walker. “I’ve been looking for something like this for my grandfather,” she said. “Thanks very much.” —Louis F. Gerber COCOA BEACH, FLORIDA Midnight Snack We had recently installed a cat door on the back door of our house, but our four kitties couldn’t figure out how…

These fMRI scans of the left and right halves of the brain show how it responds to different types of information. The yellow and orange represent greater activation than baseline brain function, while blue represents significantly lower activation than baseline. Scan A is of the brain looking at a cartoon with a nonhumorous caption. In scan B, the brain is looking at a cartoon with a humorous caption, which activates more neurons.…

I STARTED THE SECOND semester of tenth grade on February 1, 1978. On February 2, when I woke up to go to school, my mother didn’t. She had passed away in her sleep during the night. After we laid my mother to rest, I went back to school, but I didn’t care much to be there at all. Since it was a new semester, my teachers didn’t know me very well. My English teacher, Mr. Goldberg, would ask the class questions and call on people to answer. When he called on me, he’d pretty much be waking me up from wherever my mind would be. I’d say, “’Scuse me? What was that?” He’d ask me again, and I’d have the correct answer. After my mother passed away, I didn’t care…

On our commute to work, my husband stopped at a convenience store for coffee. As he got back into the car, I noticed something odd. “Turn your head and look at me,” I said. “You have a Q-tip sticking out of your ear.” As he pulled it out, he replied, “No wonder the guy in there asked me if I was getting good reception.” —LINDA TAULBEE Redmond, Oregon During a lesson about adjectives, my friend, an elementary school teacher, asked her class to describe their mothers. One boy described his mother’s hair as auburn. Impressed by his sophisticated word choice, my friend asked, “How do you know her hair color is auburn?” Her student replied, “Because that’s what it says on the box.” —JOAN ANASTASI Diamond Bar, California Actor Megan…

I don’t need to ask you what you did on August 12. You no doubt attended your local Middle Child Day parade or took in a lecture on Famous Middle Children Throughout History, then came home and cracked open a bottle of Middle Sister wine to celebrate. (It’s a real product, created “for middle sisters everywhere.”) Or maybe you spent National Middle Child Day contemplating the extinction of the middle child. Because, like the mountain gorilla and the hawksbill turtle, the American middle child is now an endangered species. Blame millennials, who are waiting longer to get married and have children. According to a study by the Pew Research Center, in 1976, 65 percent of mothers between ages 40 and 44 had three or more children. Today, nearly two thirds…

My mother and I suffered through an overlong, confusing movie at an art theater. Apparently we were not the only dissatisfied patrons. Walking back to our car afterward, we overheard a man complain to his wife, “We left the dog home alone for that?” —MICHELE BURGESS Huntington Beach, California After my kids bragged about what levels they’d attained in a video game, I decided to give it a try. Soon, it was my turn to boast that, in spite of being a newbie, I’d already managed to get to level 11. That’s when my youngest son pointed out that the “11” I was seeing on the screen was actually the game’s pause button. —FRAN BROWN West Granby, Connecticut When the new activities director for the rec center walked in, all us…

TO SNACK OR not to snack? That is the question … for doctors, for nutritionists, and for you, as you try to decide what to do about your grumbling stomach when it’s nowhere close to mealtime. The short answer: Have the snack. Snacking has fallen out of favor in certain dieting circles, thanks in part to the popularity of intermittent fasting, in which you severely restrict your food intake on a periodic basis. Some folks interpret the paleo diet, in which the diet-conscious attempt to imitate the food habits of our hunter-gatherer ancestors, as anti-snacking as well. But many modern-day studies have found that snacking can have positive effects on your health, both physical and mental. Like what? Grab a banana—or a handful of peanuts—and read on! Weight Loss Can…

Vaccines May Have Extra Benefits Measles. Polio. Tuberculosis. Typhoid fever. Thanks to vaccines, these diseases have been mostly eradicated in industrialized nations. And it turns out that these live vaccines may protect against diseases beyond the ones they were developed to prevent. For instance, a recent study showed that a typhoid vaccine also appeared to protect against influenza, yeast infections, and tetanus. Earlier studies have demonstrated that children who receive the measles vaccine are less likely to die from pneumonia and diarrhea, as well as from measles. Similarly, when the live polio vaccine and the bacillus Calmette-Guérin (BCG) vaccine for tuberculosis are introduced in developing countries, deaths from all causes go down. Researchers theorize that live vaccines work to strengthen the overall immune system. Alcohol Effects Persist Having alcohol in…

BY DAY, ORI AMIR is a mild-mannered 30-something college professor. He teaches undergraduate psychology and neuroscience classes, conducts research into how the brain functions, and holds regular office hours on the leafy campus of Pomona College in Southern California. But his students aren’t fooled. They’ve seen the YouTube videos, the ones that document his not-so-secret other life. In one of them, Amir is gripping a microphone and standing center stage at the 1,400-seat Alex Theater in Glendale, California, wearing a striped rugby shirt, faded blue jeans, battered construction boots—and a ridiculously shaggy white fur coat. It’s the second night of the Glendale Laughs Comedy Festival, and Amir is grinning broadly at the audience through his ample beard, looking like a crazed six-foot-two redheaded Fozzie Bear. “As you can tell by…

QUESTION EVERYTHING. Let the absurdities of everyday life be your muse. Jerry Seinfeld made his career wondering “Why does this happen?” Example: “Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren’t cows outside a lot of the time?” GET THE BLOOD FLOWING. Funny people tend to be more creative, according to brainpickings.org, and to get their juices flowing, creative types get moving: “Dickens and Hugo were avid walkers during ideation; Burns often composed while ‘holding the plough’; Twain paced madly while dictating; Goethe and Scott composed on horseback; Mozart preferred the back of a carriage.” He might have also liked this gag: Why couldn’t Mozart find his teacher? Because he was Haydn. DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY. The myth of the morose comic notwithstanding, happy people are funnier, say researchers in Austria. “Increased depression,”…

HE WAS IN the first third-grade class I taught at St. Mary’s School in Morris, Minnesota. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was one in a million: very neat in appearance with a happy-to-be-alive attitude. He also talked incessantly. I had to remind him repeatedly that talking without permission was not acceptable. What impressed me so much, though, was his sincere response every time I corrected him for misbehaving: “Thank you for correcting me, Sister!” I didn’t know what to make of it at first, but before long I became accustomed to hearing it many times a day. One morning, I made a novice teacher’s mistake. When Mark talked once too often, I told him, “If you say one more word, I am going…

WASHING YOUR HAIR EVERY DAY 1 It may sound counterintuitive, but if you shampoo too often, you will actually make your hair oilier. Washing strips hair of natural oils, so your scalp produces more, and then you have to wash again. Stick to two or three times a week, says dermatologist Tsippora Shainhouse, MD. Using a gentle, sulfate-free shampoo and conditioner will keep your scalp and hair from drying out too much. USING A TOP SHEET ON YOUR BED 2 Save time making your bed every morning by skipping the tangle-prone top sheet. Many Europeans sleep directly under a quilt or a duvet with a cover, as do about 30 percent of Americans. Just be sure to make time every week to wash any bedding that touches your body. RINSING…

Quick Crossword EASY It’s back-to-school season. How’s your math vocabulary? Place the following words, which are all related to measurements, in the crossword grid. MYRIAD QUOTA PAUCITY CIPHER WIDTH CUBED BRACE GROSS Runs in the Family MEDIUM Tim and his daughter, Carol, both ran in a 10K race. Tim finished in 49 minutes; Carol, in 54. Tim ran at a perfectly steady pace, but Carol lost steam and took exactly 25 percent more time to complete the second half of the race compared with the first. Tim’s wife and Carol’s mother, Marcie, stood at the halfway mark to cheer them on as they passed. Who went by her first? The Missing Link EASY Two of the identical rings in this pile are actually linked together. Which two? Getting Started EASY…