Tabla de contenidos para Summer 2016 en Smith Journal

The place was clearly designed for a short single person, but, being young and stupid, I lived there with my girlfriend. It was like something from another time. The windows rattled, the fridge didn’t work, and the linoleum floor was peeling. The worst part, though, was the bathroom: we shared it with two other people on the same floor. It wouldn’t have been so bad if there wasn’t a deadlock on our front door. Whenever I ducked out to the loo, I had to make sure that I brought a key to get back in. And, if I’m honest, I very rarely did. The most memorable lockout occurred on a freezing winter morning. I was late for a meeting and needed to have a shower. So I took off my…

SOME PEOPLE ARE BORN CURIOUS I worked as a private detective in New York for years. I worked on big corporate cases, with all kinds of people: retired police officers, FBI, CIA. It seemed to me that none of these people, although they were versed in detective work, necessarily had a gift for it. The gift comes from some strange obsessiveness; it’s about not taking anything for granted – the feeling that something is wrong, something is out of place, something doesn’t quite make sense. I know this experience. LIFE IS FULL OF TANTALISING PUZZLES The world is really a detective story. You’re confronted with puzzles, mysteries, things that you can’t explain – unfilled gaps in narrative that have to be bridged by one assumption or another. Trying to sort…

OF ALL THE SCIENTISTS WHO’VE HAD CHEMICAL ELEMENTS NAMED AFTER THEM (AND THERE ARE ONLY 14), IT’S HARD TO IMAGINE ANYONE MORE DESERVING THAN DMITRI MENDELEEV. HIS BIGGEST CLAIM TO FAME: INVENTING THE PERIODIC TABLE ITSELF. In his prime, Mendeleev sported a look that can best be described as ‘Karl Marx after a bender’. But what he lacked in grooming skills he made up for in precociousness; by his mid-twenties, the Siberian-born chemist had authored the definitive book on carbon (a bestseller, somehow). Rather than retire early, though, he decided to try his hand at other jobs: he became the director of the Russian Institute for Weights and Measures, helped develop his country’s oil industry, and even perfected the recipe for vodka. Still, science remained his true passion, and in…

How did your project start? I was moving out of my old flat and noticed that the dust in the bedroom had a different colour than the dust in the living room. This left me a little puzzled. I began wondering about how much dust can vary from place to place. So I thought I’d do some research. How much dust did you collect? My collection consists of around 120 different dusts from 17 cities across Europe. I have numbered and stored them all in stacks of petri dishes. How did you go about collecting the dust? I consciously did not make any appointments with the owners of the places I wanted to get dust from. I just popped in and asked. If they agreed, I got on my knees…

RON MALLETT KNOWS HOW TO BUILD A TIME MACHINE. He doesn’t have one in his garage, and is resigned to the fact that he’ll probably never live to see one in action. But he’s willing to stake his name on the fact that it is indeed possible to push against the flow of time. And you don’t even need to buy a DeLorean to do it. It’s worth making it clear from the outset: Mallett is not a nutcase. He has a doctorate in physics and has been a professor at the University of Connecticut since 1975. He’s been published in multiple peer-reviewed journals and is an expert in quantum cosmology. His work is informed by serious, non-tin-hat-wearing science. Well, that, and something a little more personal: a hope that,…

BORN: August 30, 1912, Wellington, New Zealand DIED: August 7, 2011, London IT WAS A PROUD MOMENT FOR NANCY WAKE WHEN SHE DISCOVERED THE NAZIS HAD STARTED CALLING HER ‘THE WHITE MOUSE’. The codename suited her to a tee; like a troublesome rodent, the New Zealand-born Resistance fighter was an expert in evading capture. In fact, she was so wily, so evasive, that, by the end of the Second World War, she was near the top of the Gestapo’s most wanted list. Time after time, traps were set for her. But the White Mouse never took the bait. Wake’s entry into the military wasn’t a typical one. Before the war broke out, she lived a bohemian life in Paris with her wire-haired fox terrier Picon (named after an aperitif), and…

WHEN WE PHYSICISTS TALK ABOUT THE DIFFERENT POSSIBLE KINDS OF LIFE THAT COULD EXIST IN THE UNIVERSE, WE DON’T TALK ABOUT LITTLE GREEN MEN. WE TALK ABOUT TYPE ONE, TYPE TWO AND TYPE THREE CIVILISATIONS. LET ME EXPLAIN. A type one civilisation is one that is truly planetary. It has a unified culture and economy, and has learnt to harness all of the forces on its planet, even earthquakes and volcanoes. A type two civilisation is 10 billion times more powerful. It has exhausted the power of its planet and now gets its energy directly from stars. Even if its mother sun begins to die, it can either reignite it or go to a different star system. To visualise that, think of Star Trek and the federation of planets. Type…

SPORT WAS MORE THAN A PASTIME IN COMMUNIST EAST GERMANY. IT WAS A WEAPON. Throughout the ’70s and ’80s, the country’s athletes were tasked with an important mission: showcasing the supremacy of socialist values to the world. They only participated in five Olympic Games, but had unbelievable success. The runners were lighting fast, the gymnasts leapt with boundless energy and the swimmers moved through the water like sharks. Even today, East Germany ranks among the 10 most successful countries in Olympic history. In rowing alone, it was awarded 33 gold medals – a record that still stands 25 years after the fall of the Berlin Wall. Sports pundits came to refer to East Germany as ‘the factory of champions’. And members of the Olympic team were framed as broad-shouldered masters…

LEE PHILLIPS’S DAD MADE A POINT OF DRIVING TO SCHOOL TO TELL HIS SON THE NEWS. It was lunch time when he arrived. Lee had just popped over to a nearby industrial estate to get some food, and was on his way back to class. But before he got there, his old man stopped him. The 14-year-old immediately suspected something was up. And he was right. Lee’s grandfather, Handel Jones, had passed away. It was such a profoundly painful moment that Lee, who’s now 35, can still recall it in minute detail. “I remember what clothes I was wearing,” he says. “I remember how it felt just afterwards. It’s all very clear.” Like the rest of his family, Lee was extremely close to his grandfather. They lived on the same…

I THINK IT’S CRITICAL THAT EVERYBODY IN MUSIC UNDERSTANDS THE IMMEDIATE ECONOMICS OF WHAT THEY’RE DOING. TOO MANY MUSICIANS GET INTO THE FRAME OF MIND OF IGNORING THE BUSINESS SIDE OF THINGS, AS IF THAT WAS IRRELEVANT TO WHAT THEY’RE DOING, WHEN IN REALITY THAT’S WHAT’S FUNDING WHAT THEY’RE DOING. If you’re getting started on a project, then you have to keep the expenses of that project in line with the expectation you have for whatever income there’s going to be. Otherwise you’re setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. I’m proud of the fact that every tour I’ve ever been on has turned a profit, and that’s because in the beginning, when you don’t have much income, you operate on a shoe string. You don’t stay in hotels; you…

IN THE LONG, GENERALLY TERRIBLE HISTORY OF EMPIRES, AUSTRALIA IS USUALLY SEEN AS AN ENDPOINT RATHER THAN A STARTING POINT. IT’S VIEWED AS A COLONY RATHER THAN A COLONISER; A COUNTRY TOO BUSY ESTABLISHING ITS OWN CULTURE TO IMPOSE ITSELF ON ANYONE ELSE’S. BUT THAT ISN’T THE WHOLE TRUTH. Peer deep enough into the archives of Australian history, and indexed somewhere under ‘failed endeavours’ you’ll find the little-known story of New Australia: Oz’s single weirdest attempt at creating a colony of its own in the sweltering jungles of Paraguay. The story begins in the 1880s, in the office of a Queensland newspaper called The Boomerang. The paper’s editor was William Lane, a rabble-rousing Englishman with a love of God and David Boon-style moustaches. It’s fair to say that Lane was…

I AM CONSTANTLY FASCINATED BY THE IMPACT OF THE THINGS THAT YOU EXPERIENCE AS A KID AND HOW THOSE MEMORIES HANG AROUND AND OFTEN HAVE A PROFOUND EFFECT ON YOU. Some are simple to quantify, like the time Peter Brock’s V8 Torana turned up at our local geriatric centre’s annual fete. In a pre-internet childhood, when something you’d seen on the telly came to town it was a big deal. I couldn’t believe that the car used by Australia’s most famous racing driver was in my suburb and I was sitting in the front seat. Not surprisingly, Peter himself was nowhere to be seen; I’m sure he was off somewhere covered in Brut 33 and having a boganic threesome. It was classic fanboy stuff, hero worshipping, no different to a…

STEPHEN LA RIVIÈRE’S MUM HAD NO IDEA WHAT SHE WAS STARTING THE DAY SHE SAT HER YOUNG SON IN FRONT OF A THUNDERBIRDS TAPE. It was the opening sequence that first got him – a dramatic mix of deep voiceovers and flashing cutaways. “Five.” A shot of a glistening space station. “Four.” A miniature submarine in the ocean. “Three.” A flying rocket. “Two.” A bulbous plane. “One.” An airship explodes into action. “Thunderbirds are go!” La Rivière was instantly captivated. As he watched, the screen morphed into pictures of bobble-headed puppets. It became clear that they were the members of International Rescue – a secret team of daring do-gooders, led by the millionaire ex-astronaut Jeff Tracy. Armed with a fleet of futuristic vehicles, the group awkwardly hobbled across the globe…

SARASWATI When young Hindus prepare for important exams, they’re often encouraged to worship Saraswati, the goddess of music, art and education. She’s the overseer of all things intellectual, and helped establish order in the earliest days of civilisation. In nearly every depiction of her, Saraswati’s clothes are lily-white to signify her purity of mind. She’s also usually shown playing a veena (a stringed instrument that looks a bit like a sitar). One can imagine that she gets some pretty interesting sounds out of the thing. After all, she has four arms. They represent the essential aspects of learning: mind, intellect, alertness and ego. GANESHA The story of why Ganesha, the god of success, has an elephant’s head is a fairly violent one. It begins with a goddess named Parvati. Legend…

GEORGE CARLIN FM & AM This is the first comedy album – actually, the first album period – that I ever bought at a record store. I remember at one point I transcribed the entire thing with my manual typewriter. Side A had some pretty blue material, so I had to listen to that at a very low volume so as not to freak out my parents. ALLAN SHERMAN For Swingin’ Livers Only! I was exposed to Allan Sherman because my mother bought me a few of his albums at Pic ‘N’ Save, a local bargain-basement type store. They were a quarter each. I was too young at the time to understand many of the references, but I was transfixed by his parodies nonetheless. THE CREDIBILITY GAP A Great Gift…

ASSEMBLING A TRADITIONAL INUIT KAYAK IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. It goes like this: first, get a pile of whale bones and arrange them into a boat-shaped frame. Next, catch and kill a few seals. Stretch their pelts over the frame, and attach their inflated bladders to the craft’s front and back. Finally, smear the whole thing with a few generous handfuls of blubber, and push it into the water. Voilà. Kayak. This design might sound primitive, but it actually has an incredible track record. For thousands of years, it allowed the Inuit to hunt and navigate the impossibly harsh landscapes of the Arctic. It was stealthy enough to stalk sea creatures, stable enough to carry heavy loads, and hardy enough to weather rough seas. There are even…

THERE’S PLENTY TO LIKE ABOUT THE 1967 JAMES BOND FILM YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE: THE SCREENPLAY WAS WRITTEN BY ROALD DAHL, A GOOD CHUNK OF THE ACTION HAPPENS INSIDE A HOLLOWED-OUT VOLCANO, AND THERE’S A MEMORABLE SEQUENCE IN WHICH (A VERY CLEARLY SCOTTISH) SEAN CONNERY DISGUISES HIMSELF AS A JAPANESE FISHERMAN. The movie also contains a scene that’s had a surprisingly profound cultural impact. It starts with Bond being helicoptered onto the grounds of an ancient-looking castle in Japan. He’s there to visit Tiger Tanaka; a man he hopes will help him infiltrate a nearby enemy base. Upon landing, Bond begins planning: Bond: We’ll need a company of first-rate men. Do you have any commandos here? Tanaka: I have much, much better. Ninjas. Top secret, Bond-san. This is my ninja…

FROM AFAR, THE ORNAMENTAL BELTS THAT BOXERS GET FOR WINNING MAJOR BOUTS CAN LOOK KITSCH AS HELL. MAYBE IT’S THE SHINE OF THE GOLD. MAYBE IT’S THE COLOURED LEATHER. THEY SEEM ALMOST LIKE STEROIDAL EXAGGERATIONS OF A KID’S SPORTS MEDAL. But if you ever get a chance to hold one up close, to run your hands and eyes over its face, it’s hard not to be transfixed. They’re more sculptures than bodily accessories, with lush arrays of bejewelled organic forms, hand-filed into fiery tableaus. The artistry is affecting. And being surrounded by towering piles of the things, like the ones strewn about the Sartonk workshop in Union City, New Jersey, can feel downright overwhelming. The flashiness of Sartonk’s belts is in stark contrast to the company’s HQ. The workshop is…

SWEET AND SAVOURY JAFFLES SWEET ingredients 2 bananas, peeled and sliced 8 slices of white bread 1 jar of Nutella ½ cup roasted hazelnuts, peeled butter ½ cup sugar method Slice the banana and lay the pieces on four slices of bread. Liberally smear Nutella on the other pieces of bread. Sprinkle with hazelnuts, then sandwich together. Butter the outside of the bread, sprinkle with a little sugar, then place in jaffle press. Put over coals, and cook until golden brown. Joe Grbac is the co-owner of Saint Crispin in Melbourne. SAVOURY ingredients 4 rashers (slices) of bacon, cut to size of the jaffle press 8 slices of bread butter, for spreading (optional) 4-8 slices of cheddar cheese about 8 tablespoons baked beans method Line one side of a jaffle…

JEFF SITAR WAS 12 YEARS OLD WHEN HE STUMBLED ACROSS THE BOOK THAT CHANGED HIS LIFE. It was the summer of 1975 and he’d just scored a job at a local locksmith in New Jersey. It was a dusty old place, filled with all the usual tools of the trade: key cutting machines, drills, picks. Towards the back was also a small library filled with training manuals. Most of the books covered bone dry topics, such as key duplication and the mechanics of deadbolts. But there was one that caught Sitar’s attention. It was riddled with gaps where pages had been torn out or dog-eared. There were intricate diagrams and bewildering terms. It was a book about safecracking. Sitar flicked through the tome so frequently that his boss ended up…

ANOTHER ANIMATED DESCRIPTION OF MR MAPS The police have arrested a suspect: a man of short stature, he was born and raised in San Francisco. He is an only child, an avid reader of science fiction, a man of unusual talent. He does not lack perception or native wit. He fancies himself an amateur psychologist, a talented young musician, an art collector, a lab technician skilled in electronics. He is a great lover of cats, a celebrated patron of the arts. He smokes 40 cigarettes a day. He has piercing blue eyes, a mass of curly hair. He’s a pretentious son of a gun, but he’s got a heart of gold. The jury returned unanimous guilty verdicts. SEVEN SISTERS It was still night when we hit the outskirts of Chicago.…

IN 2008, LIZA TUDOR GOT A CALL FROM HER EX-BOYFRIEND, NICK. “THE COPS HAVE SURROUNDED ME!” HE SHOUTED OVER THE PHONE. Liza got in her car and drove to his house. She feared that Nick was suffering delusions, which can happen if you have a methamphetamine habit. As Liza turned into Nick’s street she saw a small battalion of police cars stationed outside his house. Nick gave himself up peacefully after a half-day stand-off. He was charged with burglary and motor vehicle theft, and was sentenced to 48 years’ incarceration. Before his life in prison, Nick had been Liza’s long-time collaborator (they’re both artists). They owned a dog together, and for a long time had been deeply intertwined. But once Nick was inside, Liza couldn’t find a way of communicating…

I WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD WHEN THE FILM GREASE CAME OUT. I WOULD STEAL THE ALBUM FROM MY SISTER’S COLLECTION AND JUST STARE AT SANDY IN HER POODLE SKIRT. I DIDN’T LIKE HER WHEN SHE TURNED INTO THE CURLY-HAIRED, LEATHER-CLAD DISCO LADY AT THE END, BUT THE POODLE SKIRT VERSION – I WAS IN LOVE WITH HER. The song “Hopelessly Devoted to You” was the one that got me. It wasn’t even part of the original play, but Olivia Newton-John’s contract said she had to have a solo in the film, so her longtime collaborator, a guy called John Farrar, wrote it for her, and it became one of the biggest hits from the soundtrack. It’s just a beautiful song. It doesn’t feel like it was ever crafted or worked…