Table of contents for December 4, 2023 in Globe

WELL, BELLOW THERE! TV weatherman AL ROKER won’t let anyone rain on his parade as the dapper loudmouth does his duty on Today CLOWNING AROUND Little People, Big World’s AMY ROLOFF goes for giant laughs as a jolly jester at the Oregon farm of her ex-hubby, Matt THE WRONG STUFF Talk about an astro-not! ED HARRIS looks more like the Crypt Keeper than The Right Stuff’s heroic John Glenn! BLEW OVER ME LEANN RIMES has a hair-raising day as the Blue singer flies through London THE BEST CELEB PHOTOS EVERY WEEK! ALL DOLLED UP Hellboy’s DAVID HARBOUR toys with his tough guy image in a pink Barbie jacket in Hollywood TOTAL LUNA-TIC Goofy Grammy winner JANELLE MONÁE sports quirky brooches on her bodice while hamming it up for the camera…

KATY PERRY won’t have to Roar anymore about the dude who flip-flopped on selling the 39-year-old singer and partner Orlando Bloom, 46, his $15 million estate in Montecito — a California judge instructed homeowner Carl Westcott to get off his couch and finish the sale! Westcott claimed he was of “unsound mind” when he signed the July 2020 sales contract, but Judge Joseph Lipner noted the guy made other deals and “has not attempted to rescind any of these other contracts for lack of capacity.”…

WEEKS after pedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s teenage sex slave Carolyn Andriano was killed in a Palm Beach hotel, the pervert billionaire’s madam Ghislaine Maxwell barely survived being murdered in a Florida federal prison, insiders say. Sources tell GLOBE the former British socialite has been marked for death by a cabal of Epstein’s rich and powerful clients, who have already snuffed at least seven insiders to guarantee their sick trysts with his underage harem never become public. While Maxwell didn’t snitch at her trial for sex trafficking children, spies squeal she’s now ready to sing and escape the rat-infested hellhole where she’s scared to close her eyes at night knowing her fellow jailbirds are set to kill her. Prison insiders say she survived a brutal failed first attempt on her life several…

A NUTTY squirrel bulking up for the winter has turned dangerously obese by wolfing down plump pumpkins Erin Zak puts on her Ohio porch. Erin got a whopping 25 million views after she posted a video showing the fat furball eyeing gigantic orange gourds captioned, “Stop eating my pumpkins! Oh my god, are you pregnant or just seriously that fat?” But Erin quickly got called out, with one viewer writing, “Why are you so mean to the squirrel?” while another suggested the critter is feasting on comfort food because “he’s had a rough time lately and is eating his feelings.” Erin responded with more footage of her fat friend. The squirrel turned into a real show-off — first looking directly at the camera and then giving everyone a full view of…

HOMEBODY Cameron Diaz ended her eight-year Hollywood hiatus to film Netflix’s Back in Action with close friend Jamie Foxx, but pals dish the bellyaching blonde found the experience so lousy she’s ready to say ta-ta to Tinseltown — again! “I think on some level, Cameron thought, ‘I came out of retirement for THIS?’” a source snitches. “She missed working — but the movie made her feel like she should have just stayed home.” The Charlie’s Angels stunner, 51, was box office gold when she willingly walked away from her A-list acting career after 2014’s Annie to be a happy housewife to hubby Benji Madden — but crafty Foxx, 55, lured his buddy back for the 2023 shoot. However, spies snitch the yet-to-be-released comedy was rocked by infighting, delays and Jamie’s…

SOAP star Maurice Benard successfully kept his bipolar demons at bay for decades — and even had his Sonny Corinthos character battle the mental illness on General Hospital! But Maurice admits he nearly blew his brains out during the COVID crisis. The 60-year-old star, who battled bipolar since he was 22, thought he was on top of his disorder until he ended up stuck at home while the pandemic shuttered GH and his tour for his just-released memoir was scrapped. He found himself plunged in an abyss, thinking about ending it all “every day” while staring at a tree in his yard. “I was just figuring it out because I didn’t want to use a gun because it’s messy and ugly,” he confides. “That’s what I thought about every day…

GLOBE’S NO-NONSENSE OPINION PAGE CLUELESS Ivanka Trump tried to talk her way out of testifying at her daddy Donald’s fraud trial by claiming appearing in court would cause her and her family an “undue hardship” because she had to take her three kids to school! Her failed excuse — which was immediately dismissed by a judge — illustrates how arrogant and entitled Ivanka is and gives a disturbing insight into the inner workings of the entire Trump clan. While Ivanka and billionaire hubby Jared Kushner do have Arabella, 12, Joseph, 10, and Theodore, 7, who are all school age, the 42-year-old mom isn’t your average homemaker. She’s not cleaning the house, going to the grocery store and running other errands while getting the kids to and from school. Only a…

TENNIS bad boy Andre Agassi was so desperate to hide his taboo affair with 28-years-older Barbra Streisand, he’d hide in the trunk of his car to avoid detection when they hooked up, the cagey cougar now confesses. Back in 1992, the 22-year-old tennis toyboy was at the top of his game when he started a love match with the 50-year-old Funny Girl, which sent the Hollywood gossip mill into high gear. In her recently released memoir, My Name Is Barbra, the People singer reveals after watching lover Agassi play at 1993’s Wimbledon in London, she and friends went to an eatery where “Andre joined us for dinner — his driver actually hid him in the trunk of the car.” The May-December affair began a year earlier when Andre bombarded her with…

KARDASHIAN momager Kris Jenner is ripping her reality TV clan apart by continuing to support daughter Kourtney’s baby daddy Scott Disick even though the family wants the womanizing boozer booted ASAP, insiders say. “Slimeball Scott made Kourtney’s life hell and she needs to impose some boundaries, but Kris isn’t having any of that,” spills a snitch. “She’s always including Scott in family events and it’s driven a huge wedge between her and Kourtney, who’s going nuclear and wants Disick off the show! She’s so sick of just accepting this toxic situation.” Insiders dish things have come to a head since Kourtney and rocker hubby Travis Barker, 47, welcomed their first child — a son named Rocky — in early November. “Travis can’t stand Scott, so Kourtney worries this whole situation is…

Aging actress MELISSA RIVERS, 55, is rocking a new ring! The once-married daughter of late comedy legend JOAN RIVERS is engaged to West Coast attorney STEVE MITCHEL. STEVE HARVEY’s daughter LORI HARVEY, 26, has split with Snowfall star DAMSON IDRIS, 32, after more than a year of dating. No more trouble in paradise for Bachelor favorite TIA BOOTH, 32. She married TAYLOR MOCK in a ceremony outside of Nashville with more than 225 guests. Openly gay Real Housewives honcho Andy Cohen reveals every time he goes on The HOWARD STERN Show, his Instagram messages are filled with full frontal nude photos from men! Country singer MACKENZIE PORTER is thinking about her new baby! The 33-year-old vocalist and her musician hubby, JAKE ETHERIDGE, 35, just announced they’re pregnant. EVAN ELLINGSON, a former…

GREEDY ghoul Herbert Swilley strangled his drugged hubby before dumping the battered corpse at a staged crime scene in their Florida sex den — so he could collect a $333,000 life insurance payout, lawmen say. Timothy Smith, 59, was found naked from the waist down with a broken neck and blunt force trauma to his face and genitals in March at the Ocala dungeon he and Swilley, 55, used for orgies with online pals, according to cops. But nearly eight months later, handyman Swilley was arrested and charged with first-degree murder and tampering with evidence! A toxicology report reveals Smith’s system had 30 times the recommended dose of diphenhydramine — an antihistamine notorious for inducing drowsiness. Detective Daniel Pinder says the bedroom where the dead man was dumped had a…

SEX fiend Peter Nygard is being branded the new Jeffrey Epstein — the disgraced fashion mogul has been convicted in a Canadian court of sexually assaulting four women! Epstein associate Nygard, 82, who has already been caged for two years, is also facing two more sex crime trials in Canada as well as nine counts, including sex trafficking, in New York. His four victims say they were attacked in a bedroom at Nygard’s Toronto headquarters. Some testified his mirrored bedroom door had no inside handle and they felt trapped. Like Epstein, Nygard was buddies with Britain’s Prince Andrew and also owned a private island in the Bahamas where he allegedly groomed and abused underage girls and young women.…

POSH Spice Victoria Beckham reveals she was mercilessly bullied as a schoolgirl — but she’s breaking the cycle by raising daughter Harper to be “strong and caring!” “I was bullied a lot at school,” says the 49-year-old fashionista, who shares four kids with soccer stud hubby David Beckham, 48. “I often tell Harper how important it is to be kind and call out if anyone is ever bullied — especially if there’s ever another little girl on her own in the playground, because that was once her mummy!”…

 Wholesome HAYLEY MILLS was still a tween when she was catapulted into overnight stardom in the cheery 1960 movie Pollyanna, about a plucky orphan whose can-do spirit changes the lives of her small-town neighbors. Walt Disney himself cast the kid after seeing her by chance in the crime flick Tiger Bay, where she had a part opposite her real-life dad, acting legend John Mills. Hayley went on to do five more films for Disney, making her a pint-size movie star who headlined vehicles especially tailored for her!…

THRILLED Kelly Clarkson is ready to toss a party to celebrate finally getting ex-husband Brandon Blackstock off her gravy train by making the final payment of his whopping $2.4 million spousal support, insiders tattle. As part of the March 2022 settlement to end their bitter divorce, Kelly, 41, agreed to pay her 46-year-old former manager $115,000 a month — and her last check will finally be in the January mail. Incredibly, the popular singer and talk host had to dole out the $2.4 million the past two years after already shelling out a onetime $1.3 million lump sum payment to bullish Blackstock, who has left the music industry to become a cattle rancher. Now, the Stronger singer “is delighted to be done with this and end Brandon’s free ride,” a…

FORMER child star Keke Palmer has won temporary custody of her son and a restraining order against the infant’s father after showing a Los Angeles court explosive security camera video she claims documents ugly domestic violence by her former lover! Palmer, 30, accuses baby daddy Darius Jackson, a fitness trainer and wannabe actor, of being physically and emotionally abusive after breaking into her home when she ended their two-year romance in October. She says the Nov. 5 video shows Jackson “trespassed into my home without my knowledge or consent” then “threatened” her and lunged “for my neck, striking me, throwing me over the couch and stealing my phone.” Palmer, who starred in Jennifer Lopez’s 2019 flick Hustlers, says after earlier incidents, “Darius would ‘love bomb’ me and make me feel…

GAGA HITS SOUR NOTE WITH OLD CLASSMATE LADY GAGA was a bad classmate before singing Bad Romance, according to an old college chum. Bachelor beauty CARLY WADDELL, who’s a fellow NYU alum of the Grammy winner, gripes the future pop sensation played showtunes during lunch nonstop! “I just wanted to eat my sandwich. And so, I used to just eat in the hallway because she was driving me crazy,” squeals the former cruise ship singer, whose own musical career got lost at sea. WINONA DRAWS A BLANK ON TV TECH Clueless WINONA RYDER, 52, had no idea what Netflix was before the Beetlejuice star accepted a gig on the streamer’s hit horror series Stranger Things — even though the service made its digital debut nine years ahead of her meeting with…

3/10 The Bev Hills Housewife is a preppy goth nightmare in a plaid and lace mismatch 2/10 The Married to Medicine newbie’s snug two-piece gives her thunder thighs nowhere to hide! 7/10 The Vanderpump Rules babe’s skin-baring top keeps her outfit from matchy-matchy overkill 1/10 As if! The former Clueless cutie looks like she’s stuffed into a snakeskin-print sausage casing 9/10 The reality star is the bee’s knees in a bold tie-dye maxi dress and stylishly strappy shoes…

BROADWAY success was as easy as pie for Sara Bareilles, 43, who composed music and wrote lyrics for 2015’s Waitress. Six years later, she joined the stage show to portray the pastry-slinging title character. Her performance on the Great White Way was captured on film, and the movie version of the musical is slated to hit theaters on Dec. 7. Here are ten things you don’t know about the I Don’t Know Anything singer. 1 She changed schools frequently as a child because she was mercilessly teased by mean kids for being overweight. 2 She auditioned for The Mickey Mouse Club — but didn’t make the cut. 3 She speaks Italian and lived in Bologna for a year during college. 4 She loves making lists — “Lists of things I…

A VICIOUS Mafia plot to take over the Big Apple’s garbage industry has been trashed, according to the feds, who claim gangsters associated with the Gambino crime family used savage hammer attacks and death threats to make legit businesses fall in line! Suspected wiseguys Joseph “Joe Brooklyn” Lanni, 52, Diego “Danny” Tantillo, 48, Robert Brooke, 55, Salvatore DiLorenzo, 66, Angelo “Fifi” Gradilone, 57, Kyle “Twin” Johnson, 46, James LaForte, 46, Vincent “Vinny Slick” Minsquero, 36, Vito “Vi” Rappa, 46, and Francesco “Uncle Ciccio” Vicari, 46, were hit with charges including racketeering conspiracy, extortion, witness retaliation, fraud and embezzlement, according to a recently unsealed indictment. The chilling probe largely focuses on a six-year effort to put the squeeze on two specific businesses, according to prosecutors who charge Tantillo demanded monthly extortion payments…

FORMER late-night talk host James Corden is desperately trying to worm his way back into the hearts of Americans after being clobbered by a ferocious backlash over rude, nasty and bullying antics off-air, tipsters tattle. The chubby 45-year-old British-born chatterbox says he left his eight-year gig on The Late Late Show to spend more time with his family, but he’s returning with a This Life of Mine podcast interviewing celeb pals on SiriusXM in the new year. An insider dishes “people may snicker the salary is nothing compared to the $9 million a year he was getting for The Late Late Show, but it’s not about money for James. In fact, the resistance he’s getting is motivating him to leap back in and get his American career back on track.”…

TRAGIC Friends star Matthew Perry — a notorious boozer and drug addict — was abusing substances again when he died in the hot tub at his L.A. home — despite claiming to be clean and sober! That’s the shocking conclusion of the 54-year-old sitcom legend’s former galpal Kayti Edwards, who says Perry showed all the signs of falling off the wagon in the days before his corpse was found at the bottom of the whirlpool by a stunned assistant in late October. “I don’t believe he just drowned in his Jacuzzi, that doesn’t sound right,” says the 40-year-old, who hooked up with Perry in 2006 after meeting at an AA meeting and remained his close friend after their romance fizzled. “I know Matthew and I know that he wouldn’t have…

PRESIDENT William Howard Taft, who served from 1909 to 1913, weighed 350 pounds! He was so fat a special 7-foot-long, 41-inch wide bathtub was installed in the White House. TEXAS is offering $2,000 rewards to all stool pigeons who turn in poachers preying on endangered alligator snapping turtles! The prehistoric-looking critters can live 200 years! EVERY U.S. penny costs 2.1 cents to produce because the metal used to make the 97.5 percent zinc and 2.5 percent copper coins has skyrocketed! Canada eliminated pennies in 2012. OOPS! The feds claim mysterious lights in San Diego’s nighttime sky — which triggered a tidal wave of reports about UFO sightings — were actually the U.S. Navy’s Leap Frogs Parachute Team using flares during a performance at Snapdragon Stadium!…