Table of contents for 9 October 2025 in Chat

Welcome to this week’s Chat… Every one of us at Chat who read Sarah’s story on p10 had to fight back tears. Her cheeky, boisterous, comic-mad son Ben passed away from an aggressive cancer at just 7 years old. But even as we wiped our eyes, we were smiling at Sarah’s account of her little boy’s spirit as he went through his difficult treatments. He earned the nickname Benace the Menace, for sure! It’s a privilege that people like Sarah share their stories with us so we can share them with you. Have a great week,…

Chloe Beecham, 31, Manchester My boyfriend’s mouth twisted into a smirk, eyes down at his phone, and there it was again. That niggling feeling in the pit of my tummy. Something isn’t right. It was early 2021, and for a long while now I’d suspected my boyfriend Harry, then 25, might be cheating. When we’d first met online in September 2018, he’d showered me with gifts. Talked about saving for a place of our own. ‘We have loads of time,’ I’d said. I’d loved my independence. Had a good job as a supermarket manager, lots of friends, a car and a one-bed flat. But now, several years in, Harry had changed. Glued to his phone, secretive. ‘Who are you messaging?’ I asked for what felt like the millionth time. ‘A…

Very ice to meet you To keep different foods to find in my freezer, I categorise them into several bags for life. It makes life so much simpler not having to pull everything out to find what I want. Angie Revell, Hornsea, East Yorkshire Key-ping it real After a car service, I struggled to get my car key back onto the keyring. So I popped a can ring pull onto the keyring instead. I was then able to pull the keyring open easily and further to allow me to slide the car key on. Hazel Mead, Epsom, Surrey Cool as a cucumber I save my empty kitchen roll tubes. They make an ideal covering for growing baby cucumbers and help them grow straight. Elizabeth Howard, Dagenham, Essex £25 For every…

When JJ Mangina applied to go to university, his dad Jonathan was so proud. For as long as JJ could remember, it’d been just the two of them. Living in Cleveland, Ohio, his mum had left when he was little. Yet with his dad’s encouragement, JJ excelled at school. He got top marks and was athletic, too. While other kids rebelled as teenagers, turning to drink and drugs, Jonathan kept JJ on the straight and narrow. He took him to karate every day and never stopped bragging about his high-achieving boy. Neighbours admired Jonathan for bringing up such a well-rounded young man. It was plain to see how much he cared about his son. And JJ felt he owed everything to his dad. Wanting to prove himself, in 2015, aged…

1 Make use of wasted time When you’re waiting for the kettle to boil or the microwave to ping, do five to 10 kitchen counter push-ups, says Sam Bhide from the Chartered Society of Physiotherapy. ‘With your arms stretched out and your hands pressed against the worktop, lean forward. You’ll tone your arms and work your core.’ 2 Do your hair and make-up Curling your hair, painting your nails and applying your eyeliner will work your upper body and help your fine motor skills. These tiny movements engage the small muscles in your fingers, hands and wrists -areas that often get overlooked when exercising. They will help improve hand-eye coordination and dexterity too. ‘Bonus points if you’re standing while you do it,’ says recreational therapist Kayla Ogle from Brooks Rehabilitation.…

Joanne Newbury, 55, Stagsden, Bedfordshire Hearing a rustling sound behind me, I turned to see a mass of curly light brown fur, nose-deep in my office bin. ‘Murphy!’ I laughed, as he scampered off with a piece of paper. My cheeky cockapoo was up to no good, but it was all harmless fun. I’d had him since he was an energetic pup. Now aged 9, in the evenings he’d curl up on the sofa with me to watch Love Is Blind. I couldn’t imagine life without him. Working from home, as a self-employed bookkeeper, meant we were never apart. Just as well – he hated being left alone. It was March 2025, and ever since his sister Missy died a year earlier, he’d been an anxious little thing. My two…

Family secret exposed Q I’ve lost my adult son’s birth certificate. The problem is, when he gets a replacement, he’ll see the name of his biological father. Someone he doesn’t know exists. He’s always believed my ex-husband is his dad, and I’ve never told him otherwise. I’m terrified the truth will come out and destroy everything. Should I tell him now, or pray he doesn’t notice? Viv, 54 A You’re in denial if you think he’s not going to notice. As you’re finding out, secrets have a way of slipping out when we least expect it You want him to hear the truth from you, not a piece of paper, flower. It’ll be hard, there’ll be anger and questions, but he needs to know now. Time to put me first…

Lou Hynes, 48, Leeds My husband Pete, then 40, was watching ice hockey highlights on the television when I joined him on the sofa. ‘How are you feeling?’ I asked, noticing him rubbing his ear. ‘I’m going back to bed,’ he sighed. ‘It’s just an earache, I’ll be fine tomorrow.’ A dreary Saturday morning in December 2022, we’d all been under the weather. My eldest son Will, then 14, was at his dad’s and mine and Pete’s kids, Charlie, then 8, and Matilda, 6, were still upstairs. We’d all been suffering from colds and sniffles on and off for weeks. Once one began to recover, another would start coughing and spluttering. A slow weekend was just what the doctor ordered, I thought, watching Pete trudge up the stairs. Usually, he…

When Cindy Palmer finally made a heartbreaking call to social services, she was desperate. Caught in an abusive relationship, she wanted to give her daughter Tiahleigh Alyssa-Rose, then 7, the chance of a better life. Most of all, the terrified mum wanted her girl to be safe. So when Tia was taken into care, although it was the hardest decision for Cindy, it was a relief. After Tia left, Cindy struggled with substance abuse and homelessness. She and her daughter stayed in contact, while Tia went into foster care and thrived. In January 2015, age 12, Tia went to live with a new foster family, the Thorburns. Rick, then 54, was a retired trucker and his wife Julene, 53, loved horses. Their teenage sons Joshua, 19, and Trent, 18, were…

Dear Holly, When you think of your childhood, what do you see? Sure, there were fun times – trips to the beach, scout camps, travelling to new countries. But something cast a shadow over everything. Your weight. Remember waking up before the rest of the house, aged 5, and sneaking into the kitchen? Raiding the freezer for choc ices. The need for sugar was overwhelming even then. By the time you’d turned 10, Mum was worried and signed you up to WeightWatchers. Still, aged 13, you weighed 13st. Morbidly obese, docs said. ‘What can we do about your weight?’ one frowned. Can you even remember a time when you weren’t on a diet? There were some risks, but obesity carried more Low-fat, low-carb, WeightWatchers, Slimming World. Been there, done that.…

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Sarah Crowther, 52, Coventry With a mischievous grin on his face, my youngest, Ben, then 5, ran towards me. ‘Expelliarmus!’ he squealed, zapping me with his wand. ‘Benace the menace!’ I cried back, using his nickname. I couldn’t get a moment’s peace, but I still loved our noisy home. It was January 2018, and with three sons, life was never dull. It was all poo jokes, pranks, superheroes and football. Ben and his older brothers, James, then 12, and Harry, 9, were obsessed with Harry Potter. Had imaginary magic battles all over the house. Despite being the youngest, Ben was the ringleader. Fearless, cheeky and boisterous. Ben loved comics too, reading the Beano every week, hence his Benace the Menace nickname. Months later, Ben complained to me and his dad,…

Joanna Forrester, 45, Aberdeen True-life PATIENT CASEBOOK Handing me a cuppa, my mum, Kris, then 68, gave me a serious look. ‘Why don’t you look into freezing your eggs?’ she said. ‘That’s a bit far-fetched,’ I laughed. It was August 2014, I was 34, mid-divorce and I was sure I wanted kids but I was about to move to the US to train to be a helicopter pilot. But I had plenty of time to start a family, didn’t I? While living in Florida, USA, I met another pilot, Sindre, then 23, and we fell in love. When the time came to return to the UK, Sindre went back to his native Norway. We visited one another and chatted on FaceTime. And by the time I was 39, kids were…

WIN 2× £25 Puzzle 9 Since 2009, celebrations of women’s contributions in science, technology, engineering and maths have taken place on the second Tuesday of October in an event named for which scientist? To find out, solve the puzzle… Add a letter anywhere in each of the boxed-off words to fit the clue, eg, Tilts = LENS + A = LEANS. Write the added letter in the space provided. Read down the added letters to spell out the prize answer. Tilts Men Italian food Kingdom Sturdy Guarantee Sharp weapon Gem Concepts Playing field Nervous Your answer: TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit comps.lifedeathprizes.com/puzzles…

Spicy salmon mac ’n’ cheese We’ve added some simple flavour twists that also add a healthy boost to this cheesy bake. SERVES 6 PREP 20 MINS COOK 20 MINS 250g macaroni 50g butter 3tbsp plain flour 500ml whole milk, warmed 300g melting cheese (mix of Cheddar, Gruyère, or whatever needs using up), grated  Grating of fresh nutmeg 200g kimchi (see tip) 2 hot smoked salmon fillets, flaked 3tbsp panko breadcrumbs Chives, chopped (optional) You will need: ● 30×20cm oval ovenproof dish Boil the macaroni in a pan of salted water for 2 mins less than the pack instructions; drain. Cook for a few mins, then slowly whisk in the warmed milk until smooth and cook, stirring, until the sauce has thickened. Stir in most of the cheese until melted and…

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Q How can I make my perfume last longer? Penny Johnson, Romford, Essex A There’s nothing worse than spraying on your favourite perfume only for the scent to disappear after just a couple of hours. The reason some perfumes last longer than others is because of the percentage of perfume oils in the formula, so an eau de parfum will last much longer than an eau de toilette. This doesn’t have to mean spending more money, though. Zara Orchid Eau de Parfum, £15.99, Zara, is an affordable eau de parfum which combines notes of rose, lily, wood and amber. Spray on areas like the back of your knees, the nape of your neck, elbows and hair. Perfume also tends to last much longer on clothing, so always apply it there…

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Deborah Johnston, 57, from Stevenage What piece of advice would you give your younger self? Take time to think about what you want from life. Career first, travelling, then a family. Night out or night in? A nice night in. Great company, a takeaway and some good old-fashioned games. If you could invite any celeb over for a cup of tea, who would you choose? Sir David Attenborough because of his soothing voice. And he’s such an interesting, well-travelled man. What was the last book you read? Flowers in the Attic by Virginia Andrews. I’ve seen the film but it’s nowhere near as good as the book. I imagined the characters in such a different light. Are you a fan of autumn? I love seeing the leaves change to golden…

Coeliac disease, a gluten intolerance, is classified according to a scale of severity with what name, from the scientist who first proposed it? Make three nine-letter words using all the three-letter sections and enter them in the grid as the starter letters indicate. Make an anagram of the letters in the shaded squares to form the prize answer. IUM TRE MEC NAS RER HAN GYM ISM ASU Your answer: WIN 5× £20 Puzzle 3 TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit comps.lifedeathprizes.com/puzzles…

Sizes from 6-26 Tu at Sainsbury's STYLE TIP Love a print? Complement it with pared-back accessories in contrasting textures to keep things stylish. Sizes from 6-22 F&F at Tesco STYLE TIP Offset the boldness of cowboy boots by pairing them with minimal pieces such as a flowy dress or simple tee and classic denim. Sizes from 6-24 George at Asda STYLE TIP Balance the softness of a ruffle denim shirt with structured pieces – think tailored trousers or a pleated skirt. Sizes from 8-22 Nutmeg at Morrisons STYLE TIP Don’t let bad weather cramp your style. Layer a jumper over a dress, then add a weather-proof coat in a coordinating colour for a chic, practical outfit.…

Freezing sperm Q My boyfriend and I want to protect our fertility, so I’m freezing my eggs. Does sperm freezing exist too? Andrea, Boston A Sperm freezing is a real and useful option for preserving fertility in men. Freezing sperm for future use is especially helpful if a man is undergoing medical treatments, such as chemotherapy, that might affect his ability to have children later on. The process involves collecting a sample of sperm, which is then frozen in a lab. This frozen sperm can be kept for many years and used later with methods like in-vitro fertilisation (IVF). You and your boyfriend should talk to a fertility specialist about this option. They can give you more information and help you through the process. Is the pill risky? Q I’m…

Lynda Sterling, 42, Old Trafford, Manchester Looking around at the peeling walls and chipped tiled floors, I crinkled my nose. ‘What do you think?’ asked my husband, Malc, then 35. ‘It smells,’ I frowned. It was April 2018 and I was hunting for a space I could use as a studio. Working as an artist, I needed space to get creative, display my work and hold workshops. Could an old butcher’s shop be it? The smell of meat still lingered and it needed a lot of work. ‘But look at the size of the front window,’ Malc gushed. I had to admit, it’d be great to showcase my work. In the end, Malc convinced me that we could turn it into something special. We sold our four-bedroom terraced house and…

Caroline Sofroniou, 40, Bicester, Oxfordshire Arriving at the salon, I was out of breath, exhausted before the day had even begun. ‘I need to sit down,’ I said to my colleague, rubbing my hand against my chest as the twinges came on. It was 2002 and, aged 17, I was training to be a hairdresser. But I’d been born with Danon disease, a rare genetic condition causing the heart muscles to weaken over time. My mum had Danon as well, died when I was 3. That’s when I’d been diagnosed with it. Me and my two older brothers, Paul and Sean, were raised by my aunt and uncle. As a kid, I hadn’t had much trouble with my health. Went to the cardiologist regularly for check-ups and ECGs. But in…

3 Ways to… protect your home Take action now to help protect yourself from burglars and intruders. 1 Get the basics right Make sure your doors and windows are locked when you’re out, but ensure any side gates are locked too, so that burglars can’t sneak into your back garden undetected. Keep any tools or ladders you store in a garage or shed securely locked away, as burglars can use these to break into houses. And make sure you keep your house and car keys in a safe place, away from your front door. If you’re going out and won’t be back until it’s dark, use smart bulbs or set timers to turn your lights on so that it looks like someone’s home. 2 Extra measures Fitting a burglar alarm can be…

Sarah Ashford, 61, Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk Placing my Barbie in a shoebox, I made her a little bed. It was 1969 and aged 5, I loved hiding in my room with my dolls. The only time I felt happy. And safe. Born not breathing, I’d been left with cerebral palsy. I walked with an awkward gait, my knees knocking and feet scraping across the ground. Kids at school would laugh, but that was nothing compared to what I got at home. My mum, Valerie, then 28, was short with neat dark hair, and a smile for most people. But she had a real temper. And despite having three siblings, it was me she had it in for. ‘Eat nicely,’ she’d snap, when I sat at the kitchen table. Next…

Anyone from your town in the list this week..? Chat winners issue 28 (10 July 2025) £1,001 CASH P Clancy, Pevensey £500 CASH J Edwards, Newport M Pearson, Hinckley £250 CASH L Mason, Oxfordshire R Jackson, Dronfield £200 CASH P Noble, Fraserburgh £100 CASH M Ruane, Blackpool D Guilford, Brighton M Rowlands, Aylesbury £75 CASH B Chan, London £50 CASH T Atkinson, Driffield T Bing, Braintree L Maddock, Frodsham K Luongo, Chesterfield Y Burns, Bolton A Turner, Nottingham £40 CASH E Tomlinson, Middleton £30 CASH J Fanning, London S Kealey, Sheffield £25 CASH A McPhail, Livingston T Allenby, Boston £20 CASH H Rea, Colchester A Reeves, Dover C Wise, Oldham J Dearlove, Bournemouth C Ladd, London L Nicholson, Hornchurch L Osman, Harrow J Holroyd-Doveton, Rotherham M Gledhill, Huddersfield S Evans,…