Table of contents for November 13, 2023 in Globe

HER HILLS ARE ALIVE! Orange ya glad The Hills star HEIDI MONTAG went pumpkin picking with her kids? TOAST OF THE TOWN! Puss in Boots heartthrob ANTONIO BANDERAS raises a glass — to himself — at a tribute to the actor in Spain LEI, LADY, LEI! Flower child JANELLE MONÁE plants herself onstage in San Francisco while wearing a ridiculous floral disaster PUPPY LOVE! Former Bond girl JANE SEYMOUR bonds with a bowser at the Wags & Walks 12th Annual Benefit Gala in Hollywood GIVING THE FINGER! At least ex-Beatle PAUL McCARTNEY knows which way is up as he attempts to thumb a ride Across the Universe IT’S A STRETCH! Olympic swim champ MICHAEL PHELPS is armed and dangerous as he limbers up at Arizona’s Chase Field THE BEST CELEB PHOTOS…

CORNERED like a trapped rat, desperate Donald Trump has become unglued over the prospect of spending the rest of his life in prison as his once top lieutenants and family turn on him in an effort to save their own skins, say sources close to the former president. Despite boldly vowing he’d be “willing” to go to prison to save American democracy, tipsters tattle Trump, 77, is, in fact, “terrified” over the notion of spending even a single night behind bars and showing signs of a man barreling toward a crippling emotional breakdown! “Even for someone as highstrung as Donald, his behavior has been troubling,” snitches a mole. “He screams and obsesses about the slightest insult and repeatedly talks about his persecutors and the many, many people he feels have…

TEEN MOM KAILYN’S PLACENTA PICNIC! What the yuck?! Teen Mom alum KAILYN LOWRY, 31, secretly gave birth last year to a fifth son, RIO — and then drank the placenta in a ghastly smoothie! The TMI MTV star also boasts she blended parts of the ejected afterbirth with paint and let the kiddos get creative before posting their slimy “artwork” on social media! Kailyn gulped down a similarly crass concoction after birthing CREED, now 3. “Blended with fresh fruit & almond milk,” she overshared. “Couldn’t taste the placenta at all!” Which begs the gross question — how does she know what a placenta tastes like? WILL & JADA’S NEW CASH GRAB On the heels of JADA PINKETT SMITH’s jawdropping confession she and sad-sack hubby WILL SMITH, 55, have secretly been…

Rod Stewart’s wife, on crutches from a knee injury, rocks an over sized blazer and wide-leg trousers The Shark Tank bigwig’s patchy dress looks pieced together from thrift-store remnants! The busty Baywatch babe is all washed up in a Halloween orange gown with batwings A candy-colored pleated skirt does no favors for the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory star The Striptease star is a stunner in Schiaparelli’s vanilla ice-cream swirl of a suit and go-go boots…

HILLARY CLINTON is about to make a spectacle of herself — she’s co-producing a Broadway show! The 76-year-old onetime presidential candidate says she’s “thrilled” to be on board for the musical Suffs, about the ladies of the early-20th-century suffrage movement who fought for the 19th Amendment, which gave women the right to vote in 1920. “I can’t wait for audiences to experience this soul-stirring slice of long-overlooked American history!” comments Clinton. The show hits the Great White Way in April.…

A FEARLESS Navy veteran whose jaw was ripped off by a growling grizzly can’t wait to go back to the deserted spot where it happened so he can go mano-a-mano with the bear and win “round two!” Rudy Noorlander, 61, needed a complete jaw reconstruction and endless surgeries after the ten-foot monster savaged him while he was hunting for deer Sept. 8 in the Montana wilds near Big Sky. As GLOBE readers know, Noorlander tried to scare off the creature with his gun, but the weapon misfired and he had to take on the terror with his bare hands. That’s when the beastly bruin gave him what he calls “the most disgusting French kiss of my life!” NEWS UPDATE! The savage attack left Noorlander without his lower jaw — and although…

FOOTBALL great Tom Brady’s pass at romance with Russian supermodel Irina Shayk has fallen incomplete — the two have gone their separate ways! Sources say there was no unsportsmanlike conduct surrounding the bust-up but rather the fleeting love match simply fizzled out. Divorced Tom, 46, and Irina, 37, got tongues wagging over the summer after they met at a wedding and she later spent the night at his bachelor pad in L.A. They were also spotted nuzzling in a car and traveled overseas, where they wound up staying in the same London hotel. But cracks began to appear in the relationship when Irina posted sexy photos of her baby daddy, actor Bradley Cooper, during a day at the beach in late August. More recently, Tom was photographed in Miami while Irina was…

FOX’S snotty blowhard Greg Gutfeld has been racking up high ratings, but insiders say the prickly pint-size pundit’s made so many enemies at the network, he fears getting axed and is hunting for a new job! Spies dish the panicked 59-year-old loudmouth is looking at FOX rivals NewsNation and X — formerly Twitter — as possible gigs in case he gets the boot. “He sees how well Chris Cuomo is doing at NewsNation and putting out feelers there, and also looking at X as a possible landing pad after seeing how well Tucker Carlson’s new show is going,” spills an insider. “Greg is realizing his days seem to be numbered at FOX. He can tell by the angry looks he gets from his colleagues. “Even the lowliest production assistants are…

CLOBBERED with divorce papers and distrusting her family, mentally fragile Britney Spears has plunged into a downward spiral — ignoring her personal hygiene and turning her home into a pet poop–filled pigsty, according to insiders, who are begging the pop princess to get help before it’s too late! Sources snitch the 41-year-old Toxic singer’s house has been turned into a trash heap — with animal excrement everywhere as pets run amok — and the reeling pop star looks increasingly unkempt as if she hasn’t bathed in days. The Baby One More Time songbird also triggered alarm by reposting a video of herself dancing in her living room on a floor littered with filth and wearing a slashed top and animal print underwear with a bandaged finger. “It’s not just about…

HOLLYWOOD nepo baby Gwyneth Paltrow is vowing to ride off into the sunset forever! Once she sells her lifestyle biz, Goop, “I will literally disappear from public life. No one will ever see me again,” promises the 51-year-old, who peddles stuff like orgasmscented candles, a $15,000 gold dildo and vaginal insert balls. Raised with a silver spoon by late producer Bruce Paltrow and Gwyneth plugs wacky candles, sex toys and actress more for Goop Blythe Danner, Gwyneth, whose godfather is movie mogul Steven Spielberg, is worth an estimated $250 million. But she insists “money has never been my thing. Creating, collaborating, being struck with new ideas, innovating, thinking ahead, strategy, vision, that kind of thing.” Wed to TV writer-producer Brad Falchuk, who’s worth $30 million, she adds, “I could never…

GUTSY gymnastics legend Mary Lou in “recovery mode” after a health scare, says daughter McKenna Retton won the fight of her life against a rare form of killer pneumonia and was sent home from a hospital ICU late last month. Daughter McKenna Kelley says her 55-year-old mom “is in recovery mode. We still have a long road ahead of us, but baby steps.” Earlier, Retton’s situation looked grim after suffering a “scary setback” while in intensive care. A 4-foot-9 pixie, Retton won the all-around gold at the 1984 Olympics in L.A. and was the face of U.S. women’s gymnastics.…

FRAIL and battling a fatal heart problem, King Charles intends to announce he’s giving up the throne when his family gathers to celebrate his 75th birthday next week, stunned palace insiders tell GLOBE in an explosive world exclusive! Charles’ shocking bombshell — which has already leaked to palace courtiers — has thrown the monarchy into turmoil, but the decision will only be made public once his 41-year-old son, William, the heir to the throne, finalizes plans for the transfer of power! His Majesty’s shocking decision comes after his health recently took a nasty downturn — and Charles is now convinced the stress of ruling will land him in an early grave, a senior official reveals. But Charles’ selfish queen, Camilla, 76, may kill him first, a palace insider says. She’s…

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DOUBLE-DEALING Ryan Seacrest has been schmoozing his future Wheel of Fortune costar Vanna White, say insiders, who insist he’s whipped outgoing host Pat Sajak into a white-hot rage by treating him like a washed-up has-been. A source snitches furious Sajak, 77, sees right through 48-year-old Seacrest and is spreading the word he thinks his game show replacement is a “two-faced phony.” Meanwhile, Ryan “thinks Pat is a doddering fool, especially given all his missteps over the past few years,” spills an insider. “Ryan doesn’t start his new gig until next season, but he’s already popular with the crew, asking Vanna questions and not going out of his way to be friends with Pat.” Sajak thinks Ryan’s “disrespectful” and believes “he should be telling the newcomer how things work,” adds the…

NOW that John Grisham has just released The Exchange, a follow-up he penned 22 years after his blockbuster novel The Firm, it’s time to revisit the 1993 legal thriller in which TOM CRUISE plays a hotshot Harvard grad recruited by a law firm that’s like the Eagles song Hotel California: You can check in, but you can never leave! GENE HACKMAN joined the cast late, and when he found that Cruise wouldn’t let him share top billing on the poster, he asked that his name be removed from it altogether!…

SCREEN icon Robert De Niro once seemed like a Raging Bull raring to tie the knot with baby mama Tiffany Chen, but now spies say he’s dragging his feet about becoming a groom at age 80. The Godfather legend — divorced from Diahnne Abbott and Grace Hightower — seemed keen to walk down the aisle a third time when Tiffany, 45, gave birth to their daughter, Gia Virginia, on April 6, according to sources, who say he’s turned wishy-washy. “He’s not saying never, but he does go back and forth on when and how and if it’s a good idea,” spills an insider. “Bob’s not sure he wants to get married at his age, though he cares for Tiffany and loves their baby daughter.” Sources blame his long, bitter recent…

Fresh off divorcing entrepreneur GRANT HUGHES after a 13-month marriage, One Tree Hill beauty SOPHIA BUSH, 41, is enjoying a same-sex romance with soccer star ASHLYN HARRIS, 38! Oscar winner LUPITA NYONG’O, 40, spills she split with longtime beau SELEMA MASEKELA, 52 — after letting the cat out of the bag by being snapped with actor JOSHUA JACKSON, 45, at an L.A. concert. Joshua recently filed for divorce from baby mom actress JODIE TURNER-SMITH, 37. Two weeks after MAREN MORRIS, 33, quit the “toxic” country music biz comes news she’s divorcing singer RYAN HURD, 36. They share son HAYES, 3. Pretty Little Liars star ASHLEY BENSON, 33, and oil heir fiancé BRANDON DAVIS, 44, are having a baby! She previously dated rapper G-EAZY and model CARA DELEVINGNE. Brandon is infamous…

FORMER SNL comic Pete Davidson looks like a tattooed toothpick and admits he’s a mental mess, but he’s turned into Tinseltown’s biggest Romeo and now has a new galpal — 25-year-old beauty Madelyn Cline. Just weeks after voluntarily checking into a clinic for treatment of his borderline personality disorder and post-traumatic stress, he ended his eight-month lovein with actress Chase Sui Wonders, 27, in August. By September, the 29-year-old goofball had slyly landed in the lap of gorgeous Madelyn, star of Netflix’s teen treasure hunt series Outer Banks. Snitches say after Pete hosted SNL in October, he and Madelyn were spied holding hands at an after-party with celebs including Taylor Swift and her NFL hunk beau, Travis Kelce. Pete’s trail of dumps include ex-fiancée and pop princess Ariana Grande, Underworld vampire…

NURSING student Gina Nicole Bryant thought she’d escaped her abusive boyfriend Dr. Justin Wendling when she moved out of their apartment, but the obsessed coward kidnapped the beauty and killed her before fatally shooting himself. Bryant, a 25-year-old student at the University of Michigan-Flint, romanced Wendling, 26, for 11 months and was sharing an apartment with him when she suddenly moved out in September, telling her sister Angelica Gintner and their mom that he’d been abusing her. However, Wendling, a resident at Michigan’s Ascension Genesys Hospital in Grand Blanc, couldn’t handle being dumped by the pretty, blueeyed blonde. On Oct. 12, Bryant’s alarmed co-workers told authorities she hadn’t returned from her lunch break to her medical assistant’s job and were getting bizarre messages from her phone. Lawmen later learned her…

ABRASH black bear crashed a family barbecue in Gatlinburg, Tenn., and helped himself to ten burgers hot off the grill before washing them down with a slimming can of Diet Coke he opened with a paw! But the party animal brought a plus-one to the pig-out — and that burly beast went hog wild at the feast, even plucking eats from the backyard grill! “Damn bears ate tasty patty to devour our dinner tonight,” posted the homeowner, who captured video from his window. One of the bruins was caught on camera casually opening the grill lid and carefully selecting which first. Meanwhile, up in Barkhamsted, Conn., another hungry intruder was caught bear-handed as he opted for the Mediterranean diet — a Ring camera caught him stealing a frozen lasagna from…

DESPERATE Kim Kardashian is threatening to slap bizarre ex-hubby Kanye West with a restraining order if he doesn’t stop terrorizing her with fake complaints about being denied access to their four kids, insiders tattle. While cavorting around Europe with his wife, Bianca Censori, 28, the rapper, 46, has been accusing Kim of banning him from spending time with their kids, North, 10, Saint, 7, Chicago, 5, and Psalm, 4, snitches a spy. “Kim swears he’s lying just to stir up more toxic drama,” spills the insider. “She’s willing to figure out more visitations when he’s in L.A., but he’s spent the bulk of his time out of town. He’s promised to come back and see the kids but then bails at the last second.” The source adds Kanye calls Kim, 43,…

JUST like the title of his No. 1 song, scale-crushing country crooner Chris Young has become The Man I Want to Be by dropping 60 life-saving pounds off his once flabby, 300-pound bod. The 38-year-old, 6-foot-4 singer — winner of 2006’s Nashville Star TV competition with 15 Top 10 country hits under his belt — proudly displayed his newly formed bulging biceps and rock-hard abs in a shirtless selfie on Instagram Oct. 20. The I’m Comin’ Over hit maker confesses going from husky to hunky wasn’t just for vanity, but a life-or-death challenge after his doctor discovered his “insanely high” cholesterol levels last year and warned him in chilling terms: “You gotta do something.” Since then, Young says the “year has been dedicated to a lot of work on myself…

EXPERTS say one of the major reasons to study history is to learn from past mistakes. Unfortunately, that seems lost on A-list beauties, who desperately try to preserve their youthful looks with nip/tucks — often leading to tragic results. Over the years, GLOBE has reported on the plastic surgery disasters suffered by once flawlessly gorgeous stars like Meg Ryan, Tori Spelling and wealthy socialite Jocelyn Wildenstein, who earned the unfortunate nickname “Catwoman” from her constant facial fixes. Last week, GLOBE reported one particularly tragic victim of a botched cosmetic treatment — Priscilla Presley — was planning a new procedure to correct the mess that now sits atop her shoulders! Once one of the most beautiful women in the world, Elvis’ ex now looks like a bizarre, porcelain Betty Boop. The…

POP diva Pink confesses she was a wild, drug-dealing 16-year-old and nearly died from an overdose — just days before nabbing a recording contract. “I was off the rails, selling drugs, kicked out of the house, dropped out of high school,” recalls the 44-year-old singer now on her Summer Carnival tour. The 16-year-old was “at a rave on ecstasy, angel dust, crystal, all kinds of things, and then I was out, done, too much.” Pink survived and stopped dealing drugs immediately. Weeks later she and her all-girl group signed with LaFace Records.…

BACK in colonial times, Pennsylvania was routinely, and correctly, spelled Pensylvania with two Ns instead of three! The old spelling is engraved on Philadelphia’s Liberty Bell and written in the U.S. Constitution. VOICE actor Frank Welker, who voiced Inspector Gadget, Scooby-Doo’s Fred Jones and worked on The Transformers, The Smurfs, Muppet Babies and Mortal Kombat, got his start as Smokey the Bear. BABIES are born with 300 bones — 94 more than fully grown humans. Most babies’ bones are ligaments, which grow solid as they age. GEORGIA superspeeder Connor Cato was ticketed by a state trooper for doing 90 in a 55 mph zone — and got smacked with a $1.48 million fine on his electronic citation. It seems like a glitch, but he still has to appear in court…