Globe January 6, 2025

VEGGING OUT Musical cutup WEIRD AL YANKOVIC does his part to squash out hunger by slicing up zucchini for a nonprofit in L.A. LONG IN THE TOOTH Time has caught up with Cheers barmaid SHELLEY LONG, who serves up a dowdy look while strolling around Pacific Palisades ACTING FISHY Slack-jawed PAUL McCARTNEY’s guppy gape leaves the former Beatle looking like he needs Help! HOW UN-BRA-LIEVABLE! Aging scream queen ADRIENNE BARBEAU drops down a notch as her once bodacious bust isn’t keeping up appearances! BALLER MOVE Masked Singer panelist KEN JEONG puts his muscle behind Duke’s Blue Devils — but his alma mater’s basketball boys would lose their nailbiter to the University of Kansas THE SQUEAL DEAL Don’t want to give a bad rap to excitable CHARLIZE THERON — but the…

WOODY ALLEN’s former chef Hermie Fajardo is so steamed over being fired by the moviemaker that he has slammed him with a lawsuit, claiming the disgraced star and his wife stiffed him over his pay and balked at his break to serve in the Army Reserves! In an action filed in Manhattan federal court, the kitchen wiz claims the 89-year-old Hannah and Her Sisters creator and his wife, Soon-Yi Previn, 54, knew he had to attend reserve meetings when they hired him at a yearly salary of $85,000 in June. But he charges that they canned him a month later after he returned a day late because his Army duty took longer than expected. He claims that when he returned, “he was immediately met with instant hostility and obvious resentment”…

FRAIL Dick Van Dyke nearly did himself in three days before turning 99 by trying to battle a wind-fueled wildfire that threatened his home in Southern California — and now a source confides the beloved Hollywood legend is still suffering from the traumatic event’s emotional fallout! The Mary Poppins chimney sweep sprang into action Dec. 10 as flames rushed toward the Malibu home he shares with wife Arlene Silver. The spry senior tried to keep the raging blaze at bay with an outdoor hose, which wound up getting tangled! “I’m out there laying on the ground trying to undo this fire hose, and the fire’s coming over the hill,” Van Dyke recalls. “What I did was exhaust myself. I forgot how old I am, and I realized I was crawling…

BATTY Britney Spears is desperate to get her music career off the ground in 2025 — but sources spit she’ll have a tough time finding sponsors because of her wacky antics, and concern is mushrooming over how the aging pop tart is hurtling toward the poorhouse! had over Britney had a mini breakthrough in 2022 when she teamed with Elton John for their chart-topping dance remix of his classic Tiny Dancer. And although she declared early last year she was done with music, sources snitch she’s looking to replace her spent-down megabucks by getting back into the studio! “She’s spending money like wild, so the obvious choice is to put out new music,” spills a spy. “But things have changed since she was at the height of her career. She’s…

A VEXED Jennifer Lopez feels like she’s stuck living in a hexed house — the Hustlers star is being forced to stay in the $68 million home she shared with ex Ben Affleck, which she believes is haunted by the memories of their doomed love! “She can’t wait to get the hell out of that house,” spills an insider about the monster mansion, which has been on the market since July but has not yet sold. Sources snitch that she loved the 38,000-square-foot contemporary-style home, which sits on five acres, when she and Ben, 52, bought it in May 2023. But since the Argo star’s been gone, 55-year-old J.Lo has grown to loathe it! “The house is like a noose around her neck — she feels trapped. She walks around…

POP prince Justin Bieber would love to be friends with ex-lover Selena Gomez, but sources tattle that the hottie songbird and her new fiancé, Benny Blanco, want nothing to do with the Sorry singer! The estranged exes dated on and off from 2010 to 2018 when the Biebs suddenly pulled the plug and tied the knot with Selena’s love rival, model Hailey Baldwin, in September 2018. Selena sang about his heart-crushing treatment in her 2019 chart topper, Lose You to Love Me. “You promised me the world and I fell for it … You got off on the hurtin’ / When it wasn’t yours, yeah.” The 32-year-old star of TV’s Only Murders in the Building started dating music producer Benny, 36, in 2022 and recently got engaged. While Benny and…