Table of contents for 7/3/2019 in Move!

ADDICTION is a serious issue in our society. And it is not just drug addiction that is a problem. The scourge can reach to other areas such as food, gambling, sex and even exercise. But what they all have in common is that the addict needs help in order to deal with this issue so that they can find the causes related to it. Otherwise it becomes really difficult to get to the heart of the matter so that it can be treated successfully. In this issue we look at the effects of a gambling addiction (page 18) as well as sex addiction (page 48). We would love to hear from you if you’ve been affected by some kind of addiction. Share your story with us by writing to: move@media24.com.…

IMPROVING THE STRUCTURE OF YOUR CLUB An informal stokvel that lacks a strong structure may be quick to fall apart. Without solid rules and guidelines, the club may as well not exist. Lifestyle Ladies Club may face challenges when two or more family members die in the same month. Since the club does not have money saved, individuals will have to empty their bank accounts for grocery money. Think about the following Meeting regularly may encourage a sense of formality among members. Meetings that only take place once or twice a year may not be prioritised or seen as important. The club may also consider saving some money for rainy days, even if the contribution is as little as R50 per month. If you want your stokvelto be featured in…

VIEWERS have come to know him as a notorious psychopath who will step over anyone in his quest for power. In real life he’s just a shy guy who loves his family. Actor Moopi Mothibeli plays power hungry Smanga Moroka on SABC1’s Generations: The Legacy and has captivated fans with his charisma and charm. The 34-year-old laid-back bachelor lets us into his life and tells Move! about his work, family and love. FROM HUMBLE BEGINNIGS Moopi is a kasi guy, born and bred in Sebokeng, a township in southern Gauteng. He is a middle child and was raised by both his parents, George and Thandi Mothibeli, now both retired. His mom is a self-employed real-estate agent while his dad is a former teacher. The actor tells Move! the family didn’t…

JOB’S WORTH The department of labour decides the owner of a small farm isn’t paying his workers proper wages, so an agent is sent over to interview him. “Tell my about all your employees and how much you pay them,” the agent demands. “Well, I have five hired hands,” the farmer says. “One’s been with me for four years, the other for three. I pay them each R1 500 a week, plus free room and board. The cook’s been here for 18 months and I pay her R5 000 a month, plus free room. “Then there’s the half-wit. I give him R10 a week, plus a bottle of whisky.” “That’s the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,” the agent says. “That would be me.” BACK TO FRONT A…

IT'S an undeniable fact that stigma against people living with HIV is still rife despite all the awareness and educational programmes. Among our friends, in the workplace and sadly even at home, we constantly encounter stigma. One minute you're on top of the world, and then someone does or says something that makes you feel resentful of living with the virus. HARM CAUSED BY STIGMA AND DISCRIMINATION ‘LET THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD SLIDE’ ■ Low self-esteem When someone says or does something that shows stigma or apathy towards someone living with HIV, they are likely to hurt your feelings. As a result, your confidence and self-esteem take a nose dive. You'll feel like you don't belong in their company. You'll focus on your regret of contracting and…

CANCER 21 JUN – 21 JUL It’s a time to do the things you love, like going out with friends or taking a solo trip down memory lane. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 6, 15, 24, 29, 32, 42 LEO 22 JUL – 22 AUG While unforeseen happenings may interfere with your plans, an exciting turn of events can boost your creative talents. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 5, 21, 22, 31, 47, 51 VIRGO 23 AUG – 22 SEP Staying flexible would be a sensible thing. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 1, 7, 11, 20, 39, 52 LIBRA 23 SEP – 22 OCT You may please the boss and find delight in the approval of your clients. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 11, 26, 35, 41, 43, 52 SCORPIO 23 OCT – 21 NOV It’s time to…

WE’RE constantly bombarded with messages about how important vitamins and minerals are, but many of us don’t know exactly what they are, how much of them we need or why we need them. Our bodies are undergoing processes to keep them working and these processes need a balance of minerals to perform vital functions, including making new cells, maintaining blood pressure, building up our bones, and carrying oxygen around the body. Like vitamins, we can get the minerals we need from our food. CALCIUM is necessary for strong bones and teeth. It's also vital in blood clotting and blood pressure, muscle contraction and relaxation, transmitting nerve impulses, and hormone and enzyme activity. Foods rich in calcium include dairy products such as milk, cheese and yoghurt. It’s also found in fortified…

CASHING-OUT your retirement fund might seem like a good idea, but this can leave you in a difficult position when you reach retirement age. When Thabiso Mokoena* resigned from his job after six years, he was excited about the prospect of starting a new chapter in his life. His plan was to take a break for a few months while looking for another job. Knowing he could cash-out his retirement fund gave him security, as he didn’t have to worry about income in the meantime. “I no longer felt fulfilled at my previous job and taking the decision to leave took a long time. But at least I knew I would still be able to fulfil my responsibilities when it came to taking care of my family, as I knew…

AS CHRISTIANS, we are aware that words like “dating” and “courtship” are not found in the Bible. But we are given some principles that we’re to abide by before marriage. Firstly, we are called to separate ourselves from the world’s view on dating. The Bible instructs us in Romans 12:2: “Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” So, God’s ways are always different to the world’s. You need to be willing to completely change your way of doing things. This should be deliberate and purposeful. TRUST IN GOD The Bible tells us in Matthew 6:33, “Seek…

I GREW up with a strict grandmother. At times I thought she didn’t love me as much as my sister and cousins. Her favouritism affected my relationship with my sister and we’re still working on fixing it today. My granny used to drink and smoke. My mom, who was a stay-in domestic worker, visited every month-end weekend. When my mom gave my granny grocery money she’d send me to buy alcohol for her – whether it was raining, hot, day or night. At the place where we bought the alcohol men would stare at you like they were undressing you and sometimes they’d spank me. Old men would ask how old I was because I was “fresh”. Those comments bothered me. When my breasts started growing my granny beat me,…

‘Happiness is an inside job.’ This might sound like a cliché, but it is indeed the truth. And insecurity is probably the devious cousin. Regardless of how much people try to inspire, motivate or introduce you to your worth, unless you see it, feel it and embrace it, it will all be in vain. Most of the time we rate ourselves extremely low and it never even has anything to do with anyone else but how we see ourselves. Insecurities are mainly as a result of competing with others. And sadly, in most cases, it is competing with people who aren’t even moved by your efforts. Life is a journey, not a race. People are allowed to overtake you. The only person you should actually be competing with is the…

SHE’S recently dropped her new album, OkaJehova Akanqotshwa. It’s one of her best works of art, gospel star Deborah Fraser (53) believes. And she’s put everything in it. “The name of the album was inspired by many women in the Bible like Esther and Ruth who faced challenges but never gave up. Their stories gave me hope to also not quit when faced with challenges,” she explains. We catch up with the songbird. IN THE BEGINNING She’s fortunate to have been raised by both parents in a loving home with her nine siblings, she says. “My father was a good man, I don’t remember him ever spanking any of us. He was a manager at a furniture shop and prided himself on taking care of his family,” she says. “He…

WHEN he walked on to the field, his opponents trembled in fear. They knew Godfrey Sapula (45), nicknamed The Godfather, would do everything in his power to prevent them from reaching the goalposts. Yet while he was a formidable player with an arsenal of skills that saw him collect over 20 national caps, once his playing days were over, Godfrey battled his own demons. THE START OF THE STRUGGLE For years he had a gambling problem, he says. And while he has it under control now, the lure of the casino and the heady possibility of winning are things he has to fight every day of his life. It’s a chronic disease, he says: you must keep battling it or it will take over your body and soul. “I thought…

IN MANY ways, he’s like any other six-year-old boy. He loves climbing on jungle gyms in the park, is crazy about animals and enjoys spending time with his friends. But Yernar Alibekov looks more like an old man than a young kid due to a rare condition that causes his skin to sag and wrinkle like a pensioner’s does. Yernar, who’s from the city of Astana in north-eastern Kazakhstan, was diagnosed with the connective tissue disorder Ehlers-Danlos syndrome one month after his birth. IN THE BEGINNING Little Yernar has been likened to the boy in the film The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, where Benjamin (played by Brad Pitt) is born looking like an old man. The first sign something was wrong was when his eyelids started drooping, irritating Yernar…

Twisted sista WRAP: stretchy fabric A headwrap with a bold print is perfect for a bad hair day. This look works for formal occasions as well. STEP 1 Bring the fabric from the back to the front to cross the ends in the middle and cover your head. There should be equal lengths on both sides. STEP 2 Tie both ends together in front of your head, making sure your hair is completely covered. STEP 3 Twist the two ends of the fabric, then cross them together to make one twist in the front. STEP 4 Move the twist to the side of your head, then the back. Secure the end by tucking it in or using a pin. Knot on the double WRAP: slightly dense fabric This style is…

‘THE HOMEOWNER IS IN BREACH AND YOU CAN INFORM HIM THAT YOU'RE NOT LEAVING’ Q LANDLORD WANTS TO CANCEL LEASE Does a homeowner who has rented out their house have a right to cancel the lease agreement early? We signed a one-year lease agreement but three months later the landlord wants to cancel it because he wants to come back to his house. We have not breached the contract. ANONYMOUS, MIDRAND A homeowner can only give notice to terminate the lease agreement if the tenant has breached the agreement, unless the lease agreement has a clause about early cancellation. If not, the homeowner is in breach and you can inform him that you're not leaving or request that he buys you out of the contract. Q I WANT TO SUE…

‘SHE KEEPS ON ABUSING ME AND WHEN I TALK BACK SHE SAYS SHE WILL GET ME ARRESTED’ Q MOM DOESN'T LOVE ME My mom has never loved me and I remember when I was a child she never took any interest in me but cared for my two older sisters. Even now she still cares less for me – my older sister has money and buys her things. What hurts is when she's in need she asks for my help. ANONYMOUS, ATTERIDGEVILLE A The parent-child relationship is an important relationship for everyone. I recommend you tell your mom how you feel. You need to tell her the perception you have about your relationship and give her a chance to give her side of the story. If this doesn't help you,…

I first met my man about four years ago, and we were engaged in a whirlwind of love and romance. He didn’t waste any time and proposed marriage to me in just over 14 months. He went to my family and I'm told he paid less than a quarter of lobola and never returned again. I heard from my mother that he wasn’t charged an abnormal amount and that my family were nice to him. I’m aware that money isn’t that much of a problem for him either, as I know about his savings and responsibilities. He’s been committed to me and I know he loves me very dearly. However, it’s now almost three years after the proposal and we’re still not married. How long should I wait? CONCERNED FIANCÉE…

■ Under 15 months: children in this age group shouldn’t watch screens. ■ 15 months to 5 years: 30-60 minutes a day, in the company of an adult. Content matters, child psychiatrist Dr Brendan Belsham says. Fast-paced content such as certain cartoons are associated with learning problems. Slower-paced, interactive material is preferable. ■ 5-7 years: 30-60 minutes a day. An adult needs to decide what's suitable content but doesn't need to be present. ■ 7-12 years: 1 hour a day. ■ 12-15 years: 1½ hours a day. ■ 16 years and older: 2 hours a day.…

SHE sees it as her new beginning. When Maseru Madlala (36) bought a bed and breakfast last year, she had grand plans. And she’s made all of them come true, including turning part of it into a museum for African art, making it a one-of-a kind B&B. The tourism graduate says museums are a big tourist attraction and that’s why she decided to get into the field. GETTING INTO TOURISM Maseru, who grew up in Amandawe South Coast in KwaZulu-Natal, went to live in the United Kingdom with her then-husband in 2004. While living there, the mother of three studied travel and tourism at Manchester Business School from 2008 to 2010. “On my return from the UK in 2012, I told myself I will start my own business in the…

1 Your boyfriend stands you up, leaving you waiting outside the cinema. You find out he spent the evening with his friends and forgot about your date. What would be your reaction? A Dump him immediately. B Forgive him as long as he promises not to do it again. C Give him another chance. 2 Your guy comes to pick you up, but you are not yet ready. How long would you risk letting him talk to your attractive, long-legged slim flatmate? A Not a second longer than necessary. B As long as it takes for you to make yourself look stunning. C As long as it takes you to get ready because you trust him not to flirt with her. 3 Where do you usually meet potential boyfriends? A…

There have been a spate of murders of homeless people in Tshwane with five bodies found thus far. Do you think the safety of the homeless is taken seriously by law enforcement? Move! readers have their say: Some of these homeless people are actually criminals. They have seen an opportunity through pretending to be homeless. – Thando Mncube Some of the homeless people are not so homeless, they are daughters and sons of prominent people. They can go back home or to rehab. – SHERLYN NADIAH KRUGER With the fifth body found, are the cops just waiting for more bodies? – MPUMI NGUBENI You cannot protect homeless people. This is impossible. – SDUKS NDONGA Stop blaming the police. We have shelters and these people do not want to stay there.…

SHE didn’t plan on becoming a mom. She feared having saggy breasts and a body full of stretch marks and there was just too much uncertainty to bring a life into this world, she believed. But then Andrea Dondolo’s little bundle of joy arrived as she was nearing 40 – and he has changed her life in so many ways. In fact, Kuyintando (2) has given her a new lease of life, the actress who plays Bongi in The Queen tells us. It was because of her little boy that she decided to lose some weight. She’s lost 15kg over the past year using a combination of exercise, diet and a detox plan. “I wanted to be there for my son and live longer and I had to choose a…

1 Luthando “LootLove” Shosha revealed she once lost out on a R250 000 contract because she was . . .? A Too skinny B Pregnant C Too tall D On holiday 2 What do you call the condition where a lack of red cells in the blood causes tiredness? A Anaemia B Lymphoma C Haemophilia D Myeloma 3 What is the national motto of South Africa? A Freedom and justice B Always ascending C One for all, all for one D Unity in diversity 4 A recent power outage in South America left more than . . . million people without electricity? A 44 B 26 C 90 D 12 5 Cognac is a type of . . . produced in France? A Whisky B Rum C Brandy D Gin…

Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) is the term given to a group of rare inherited disorders affecting the body’s connective tissue, which supports the skin, tendons, ligaments, blood vessels, internal organs and bones. There are three main types: hypermobile EDS results in an increased range of joint movement and stretchy and fragile skin that cuts and bruises easily. Classical EDS affects the skin more, while vascular EDS targets the blood vessels and internal organs and can lead to life-threatening bleeding. EDS can lead to chronic pain, joint dislocation, osteoarthritis and scoliosis. It’s different to progeria, which is a rare genetic condition that causes a child’s body to age rapidly.…

PEPPERED BACON AND MUSHROOM PIES MAKES: 8-10 MEDIUM PIES PREPARATION: 30 MIN RESTING: ABOUT 1 HOUR COOKING: 45 MIN FILLING ■ 15ml (1T) oil ■ 2 onions, chopped ■ 4 garlic cloves, chopped ■ 200g bacon, chopped ■ 350g mixed mushrooms, roughly chopped ■ 30ml (2T) flour ■ 250ml (1c) cream ■ 10g fresh parsley, chopped ■ Salt and freshly ground pepper PIES ■ 2 rolls (400g each) puff pastry ■ 1 egg, whisked ■ 4 bacon rashers, halved (optional) Preheat the oven to 190°C. Grease 2 large baking sheets with nonstick spray. 1 FILLING Preheat the oil in a deep saucepan and fry the onions until soft. Add the garlic and bacon and stir-fry until done. Add the mushrooms and stir-fry until the mushrooms are done and most of…

A DESPERATE cry for help from women who have lost their husbands so haunting it leaves a lump in one’s throat. This is what viewers of Widowed, a show on Mzansi Wethu, witness whenever an episode of the sad series airs. Not only does it deal with the passing of a beloved spouse, it also focuses on the drama and feuds that arise after a spouse has died. Relationship expert and host of the show Phindi Grootboom says widows often get blamed and isolated when their partners are no more. They lose their sense of belonging because the person who introduced them to this “new family” is no longer around. PROCESS OF GRIEVING On Widowed, women tell stories of not getting along with their late husbands’ families, fights and arguments…

‘LOVEMAKING IS MAKING SURE THE MENTAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL BEING OF YOUR PARTNER IS TAKEN CARE OF’ Q I HATE CONDOMS I'm a 51-year-old man and I hate condoms because they make a noise like plastic and they give me little or no enjoyment. They turn me off. ANONYMOUS, UMLAZI A There are a few things that you can do to make the use of condoms nice and friendly. Try using different brands, including the thinner ones on the market. For fun application, consider buying scented ones as well, which could lead to loads of fun for you and your partner. You need to think about the advantage of using the condoms versus the risk of not using them. Remember, the diseases you might get from unprotected sex could have…

Wilma Calvert, a counsellor at the Family Life Centre in Joburg, says: “Practical action is needed. You'll have to deal with the emotional fallout later. Your boyfriend needs to know the truth and the car has to be returned or sold for as much as you can get back. “The case against your brother has to be withdrawn, which means that the family has to know the truth. A trusted family friend can act as the mediator to break the news. You have a responsibility to make things right with your family. You can work out a payment plan to reimburse your mother. “The hurt and trauma of your actions on the family needs to be dealt with using professional help. The money can be sorted out fairly easily but…

ANDREW MAFETA You must stop worrying and concentrate on your relationship. As soon as the brother is financially stable, he'll marry you. Enjoy your engagement for now. NAZEEM GROOTBOOM My parents have been married for 25 years even though they were initially engaged for years. You are complaining with only three years. That’s nothing. MARTHA MAKGAE You should keep on reminding him, in a nice way. Hear what he says – unless he's changed his mind, he will certainly marry you. PHINDILE MATHEBULA If he's serious about you, he will make means to marry you. Try talking to him about it, and show him you're ready for marriage. Communication is key.…

Tension between your wife or girlfriend and your mom can put strain on your relationship with both of them. Here are some tips on how to deal with it. ■ You can’t fix something you’re ignoring. Men in this situation sometimes try to brush it off or try not draw attention to it in the hope things will blow over, clinical psychologist Ingrid Nagaya says. But this could simply worsen the situation. “Your mother will feel more entitled to having an opinion about your partner and your partner will feel you don’t value her as much as you do your mother,” she says. “Either way you’ll find yourself caught between two women you love and you may end up feeling pressured into picking one over the other.” ■ Make your…

The school holidays are a challenging time to put limits in place, but it’s vital. “Childhood development doesn’t stop when school breaks up,” says child psychiatrist Dr Brendan Belsham. “Endless hours on YouTube isn’t healthy for children.” Here are his suggestions for alternatives during the holidays: ■ Enrol your child in a holiday programme or a sport clinic. ■ Enlist the help of grandparents or other relatives if you’ll be working. Sometimes they need to be asked, and this quality time is beneficial for the younger and older generations.…

Maseru Madlala says all her challenges have contributed to the woman she is today. She had a child when she was young. She also married young and the marriage ended in divorce. But through it all, she picked herself up and never gave up. Here are her tips for those who want to get into their own business. ■ No one understands your business and goals like you do. Never feel disheartened when someone doesn’t believe in your business or understand your dream. ■ Start small. Don’t rely on loans to start your business, use what you have. ■ Working with family can be difficult. Always refer to your contract of employment when there are issues, and don’t use the “we-are-family” card unnecessarily. ■ Business issues are not to be…

LIKE a magician waving a wand, all it takes is a gentle wiggle of fingers on a tiny tummy to make Oyinkosi Mthethwa’s face break into a gummy smile, complete with heart-melting dimples. The man with the magic touch is four-month-old Oyinkosi’s dad, Idols SA winner Khaya Mthethwa, and his grin is as wide as that of his little man. Fatherhood is clearly agreeing with him. “It’s a new journey and I’m really enjoying it,” he says. Khaya (31) and his wife, former Miss South Africa Ntandoyenkosi Kunene-Mthethwa (27), welcomed their bundle of joy in February. “I still can’t believe I’m a dad.” A GOD-GIVEN GIFT Something in him changed the first moment he held Oyinkosi in his arms, he says. “Having a son is a huge thing for a…

LOOKING FOR A LIFETIME PARTNER I’m a 28-year-old guy from Namibia. I’m HIV positive and I’m looking for a lifetime partner with same HIV status as mine. She must also be from around Namibia or neighbouring countries. If interested, WhatsApp or call me on: +26-481-357-3096 MATURED MAN WHO IS READY FOR LOVE I’m a 30-year-old mother of one from Pretoria. I’m looking for a matured man who is ready for love. He must be between the ages of 35 and 40. If you are interested in a relationship, please call me on: 073 429 7854 AN HONEST MAN I’m a 34-year-old woman from Taung in the North West but residing in Joburg now. I’m HIV positive and looking for an honest and loving man who is serious and matured. If…

Don’t give out private information, such as your ID number, physical address and banking details to strangers. If you decide to meet, do so in a public place. Also, tell a friend where you are going and when you expect to be back. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Always trust your instincts. Don’t assume that the person is who they say they are. It’s easy to pretend or provide false information over the phone or online. DISCLAIMER: Move! magazine will not be held responsible/liable for anything that may arise with regard to readers providing each other with personal information. We advise participants to protect themselves from any criminal intent/activity.…