Table of contents for April 2014 in Reader's Digest

And a River Runs Through It WHENEVER I FLY, I scan the earth below for rivers. From that vantage point, I can marvel at their serpentine paths. I can see the yawning canyons they’ve carved into centuries of stone. From the air, rivers remind me that nature, like life, is beautiful, raw, unpredictable, and keeps moving no matter what. Once you get closer, a river is a different, more intimate experience. To my husband, a fly fisherman, rivers are meditative. They tickle all the senses. Standing in one, you can feel its push, hear its hurry, smell its life. From baptisms to funeral pyres, people use rivers to begin and end life. I stayed on the shores of the first river in my life, Cleveland’s Cuyahoga. It was so notoriously…

BETWEEN CLASSES at Pinckney Community High School in Pinckney, Michigan, junior Nick Torrance, 17, steers his electric wheelchair to his locker and waves his hand over a sensor on the arm of the wheelchair. A few seconds later, the locker door swings open. The one-of-a-kind device didn’t cost the school a penny. But it did take a year’s worth of work by robotics whiz kids Micah Stuhldreher and Wyatt Smrcka, who were classmates of Nick’s. The school’s occupational therapist, Amy Uphouse, and robotics teacher, Sean Hickman, recruited Micah and Wyatt to help Nick, who has muscular dystrophy and is largely immobile. Micah and Wyatt, both seniors at the time, were eager to work on the device. “Before even giving it much thought, we took the locker door to the robotics…

TWO BLOCKS. Two very, very long blocks beyond in deep darkness. It is 1953, and I have walked these blocks many times on my way to the room I rent off campus. I get off the bus after leaving the library at ten o’clock in the evening clutching books in my arms, with a purse hanging from a strap on my shoulder. My landlady works the night shift at the hospital, so at this hour, the house will be as dark and blank as the others on this street. Everything is quiet and closed. Far ahead (or so it seems) is a streetlight. I am thinking about a paper due in a few days. What theme should I explore? Will the professor admire or dismiss it? Why are we reading…

WE’VE GOT A DECEPTION epidemic, says certified fraud examiner Pamela Meyer. She is the CEO of Calibrate, a Washington, DC, company that trains people in the legal, insurance, financial, and college admissions fields in the art of lie spotting. She’s got pockets full of secrets for identifying—and understanding—fibbers. Here she reveals some of them. Why do we often fail to recognize a liar? We think liars fidget all the time, but many freeze their upper bodies because they’re busy concentrating on their lies. We also think that a liar won’t look you in the eye, but he makes eye contact more than most people do because he’s overcompensating. However, one indicator isn’t proof that someone is lying—it’s important to look for a cluster of signals. Such as? A liar often…

IT’S EASTER, and I’ve decided to make my hero Julia Child’s beef bourguignonne, the only recipe I make that my mother also made, the same classic dish that Julie Powell, as played by Amy Adams, ruined so spectacularly in Julie & Julia by falling asleep on the sofa and leaving it too long in the oven. Beef bourguignonne isn’t really a spring dish. Our corner supermarket doesn’t have small onions; it stocks them only for big winter holidays. I settle for frozen, feeling a flick of irritation because this is what my mother used. It’s the only Julia dish my mother made that I found acceptable, but I cook it only maybe once a year because doing so makes me so sad that when I’m done, I can rarely bring…

AS A REPORTER, I talk to strangers for a living and love the challenge of getting them to open up. Yet here’s a confession: I’ve been married for eight happy years, but until six months ago, I could be the stereotypical inattentive husband. It’s not that my wife and I never had pleasant conversations. But more often than I care to admit, I was just going through the motions, nodding when I was supposed to. I was the guy who’d defensively snap, “Of course I did!” when my wife would ask, “JB, did you even hear what I just said?” In January, I began to lose my voice repeatedly. Doctors told me I needed surgery, or else my throat would be permanently damaged. Total silence would be required for the…

WELL AWARE of needle-induced anxiety, tech innovators around the globe are taking the sting out of vaccinations. Doctors and aid workers could someday use these advances to help patients in need. They’ll not only hurt less, but they’ll also be easier to administer. A Stick-On Patch Researchers at the Vaxxas company have developed a wee “nanopatch” that aims to deliver an effective vaccine dose better than a traditional shot can. The patch is one square centimeter in size and home to about 20,000 tiny needles. These “micro-projections” deliver a vaccine and amplify its effectiveness. Jet Fluid Scientists at PATH, a global nonprofit focused on health innovations, have developed a method to inject a vaccine into a patient’s arm via a high-pressure fluid. The hope is that these “jet injectors” can…

Start at the Healthy End of the Breakfast Buffet Eighty-six percent of diners piled their plates with fruit when they saw it first, but only 54 percent chose fruit when they began with high-calorie fare like cheesy eggs and bacon. Stick to Wrapped Candy People ate 30 percent less candy when they had to unwrap it first, a Swiss study found. Peeling off the wrapper requires effort, which can make noshers eat less. Stop Mindless Munching at the Movies People who usually eat popcorn were more likely to snack even when it was stale, research found, while those who don’t normally nosh on popcorn at the movies ate less when it didn’t taste fresh. Take time to notice how food tastes. Use Smaller Bowls In a classic Cornell study, nutrition…

Breast Cancer Detection Goes 3-D Three-dimensional mammograms, approved by the FDA in 2011 and now available nationwide (ask your doc), found 22 percent more breast cancers and had fewer false positives than traditional 2-D mammograms, according to a new University of Pennsylvania study of more than 25,000 women. Three-dimensional images give radiologists a clearer view of overlapping breast tissue, making it easier to spot masses in dense tissue, which is common in younger women. The technology may allow doctors to identify cancer earlier. A High Note for Happiness British researchers recently surveyed 375 people who sang in a choir, sang alone, or played on a sports team. All the activities contributed to greater emotional well-being, but people in choirs reported feeling happier than those who belted out tunes solo. Chorus…

IN THE 11 YEARS that Theresa Cho has served as a pastor at St. John’s Presbyterian Church in San Francisco, she has aimed to make prayer more accessible to her diverse congregation. When the tenth anniversary of 9/11 grew close, for instance, she searched for a simple yet creative way for her parishioners—and anyone else—to express themselves. Inspiration struck when she found a bucket of colored chalk in her office supply closet. She placed it on the ground outside the church’s entrance next to a large sign that read “Write a prayer or word of peace to mark this day.” Over the following week, congregants and passersby scratched out thanks to the first responders and wishes for a better world: “Stay human.” “Blessed are the peacemakers.” “Let’s work together.” Because…

IN THE GALÁPAGOS, there are three common species of sharks. They’re usually not very threatening; they just cruise around. In the early 2000s, some colleagues and I were in about 25 feet of water, counting juvenile fish on the reef. I looked up, and there was a very large shark directly in front of me, and it was heading right for me. A few things went through my mind. The first was, Wow, that’s a very large shark. Second, It’s coming right for me. And third, I do not recognize this. It was not one of the three common species. It was bigger than most of the things I had seen down there. I’d never heard of anything where the species headed straight for a person. Sharks have a lot…

Chosen by Melanie Dunea American portrait photographer "In the late ’80s, I moved to Paris in the hopes of becoming the next Henri Cartier-Bresson [the influential French photographer]. I loved his work and thought that by eating, breathing, and living in Paris, I, too, could become a photographic storyteller. In Paris, young and alone, I found myself walking and walking, always taking pictures. I never felt lonely; beauty was everywhere. I happened upon this photograph by Paul Almásy. What a moment! What’s the story? Who are the dancers?”…

1 Actually, you probably don’t have bedbugs. The news media have gotten people so totally paranoid that nine out of ten people who call me don’t have a problem. Some companies take advantage of that by charging you to treat something that doesn’t exist. If they can’t show you a bedbug, don’t pay them to treat. 2 When you’ve got trees or shrubs touching your house, my job is a lot harder. You’ve basically built a bridge for ants and other insects that allows them to walk right in and avoid the spray I put down around the perimeter of your house. 3 After I started this job, I moved all the food in my pantry into plastic containers with sealed lids. It’s the only way to keep out various…

IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR 1. wonk (’wonk) n.—A: nerdy expert. B: abject failure. C: double agent. 2. furlough (’fur-loh) v.— A: temporarily lay off from work. B: send long-distance. C: form a militia. 3. acerbic (a-’ser-bik) adj.— A: top secret. B: growing in a desert. C: sarcastic. 4. clemency (’kle-men-see) n.— A: petty crime. B: leniency. C: election of a pope. 5. vacuous (’va-kyoo-wus) adj.— A: in recess. B: empty-headed. C: irresistible. 6. austerity (aw-’ster-ih-tee) n.— A: heat wave. B: strict economizing. C: bitter disagreement. 7. cornucopia (kor-nuh-’koh-pee-uh) n.—A: trite comedy. B: abundance. C: fantastic dream. 8. bellicose (’be-lih-kohs) adj.— A: melodic. B: potbellied. C: warlike. 9. moniker (’mah-nih-ker) n.— A: milestone. B: nickname. C: stand-up comic. 10. curmudgeon (ker-’muh-jen) n.—A: dog breeder. B: grouch. C: knockout punch. 11.…

TO A CIVILIAN’S EAR, these real military code names are hard to crack. But we tried anyway. • Operation Giant Profit A missile test plan. Or: Wishful thinking on the part of the missile makers. • Operation Penny Counter Development of a mobile computer system. Or: What the military was forced to resort to following Operation Giant Profit. • Operation Burnt Potato A refueling route. Or: What was served in the chow hall after Operation Penny Counter. • Operation Lucky Dragon Spy-plane implementation. Or: Where the officers ordered in from after Operation Burnt Potato. • Operation Big Belly A program to enlarge a bomber’s load. Or: What results when Operation Lucky Dragon is too successful. • Operation Burp Gun An Air Force refueling track over Western New York. Or: The…

COMMENTS ON THE FEBRUARY ISSUE SUPERMARKET SECRETS Wow! I just finished “50 Secrets Your Grocer Won’t Tell You,” and I was truly impressed. I was once a cashier, and I also had a husband who was a butcher, so I can say you nailed it. I even learned some new things. I loved it, but I am sure some grocery stores won’t. GAYE LUKROFKA, Woodinville, Washington ON THAT NOTE … What a delightful surprise to open the latest issue and find my quote in Finish This Sentence (“In My Lifetime, I’d Like to …”). I’m a longtime shelter worker, and old dogs, especially, have my heart. Since I pledged to adopt one, I’ve taken in 11-yearold, malnourished Patty. She has regained her weight and health and has found a forever…

WHOLE FOODS IS LIKE VEGAS. You go there to feel good, but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a bacterial infection. Unlike Vegas’s, Whole Foods’s clientele are all about mindfulness and compassion ... until they get to the parking lot. Then it’s war. As I pull up this morning, I see a pregnant lady on the crosswalk holding a baby and groceries. A driver swerves around her and honks. As he speeds off, I catch his bumper sticker, which says “NAMASTE.” Poor lady didn’t even hear him approaching, because he was driving a Prius. He crept up on her like a panther. As the great sliding-glass doors part, I am immediately smacked in the face by a wall of cool, moist air that smells…

DAVID AND LINDA KUBERT were riding together on David’s motorcycle in Morris County, New Jersey, late in the afternoon on September 21, 2009. As the couple, then both 56, rounded a curve, David saw a truck heading directly toward them. He couldn’t swerve in time, and the two vehicles collided. When David regained consciousness, he realized he was lying on the ground, and his left leg was gone, completely and permanently severed during the crash. The bones in Linda’s left leg were shattered. Doctors amputated her leg later that night. Eight minutes before the collision, then-18-year-old Kyle Best clocked out of his job teaching swimming at the YMCA and slid behind the wheel of his father’s Chevy pickup. He said he sent a few texts while sitting in the parking…

WE ARE HAPPY WHEN we have family, we are happy when we have friends, and almost all the other things we think make us happy actually are just ways of getting more family and friends. DANIEL GILBERT, professor of psychology, on bigthink.com THE MOST COMMON CAREER aspiration named on [applications for Girls Who Code] is forensic science. Few, if any, of the girls have ever met anyone in that field, but they’ve all watched CSI, Bones, or some other show in which a cool chick with great hair in a lab coat gets to use her scientific know-how to solve a crime. This so-called CSI effect has been credited with helping turn forensic science from a primarily male occupation into a primarily female one. CATHERINE RAMPELL, reporter, in the New…

• PEEL EGGS EASIER Want the shells of hard-boiled eggs to come off in big chunks instead of a million tiny pieces? Add a teaspoon of salt to the cooking water before putting in the eggs. • PRESERVE MILK Help keep it fresh for several days longer by adding a pinch or two of table salt to a carton of milk. • COLOR CORRECT Boiling or blanching spinach or string beans? Add salt to the cooking water to help preserve the green veggies’ chlorophyll, which keeps their color vibrant after they’re cooked. • SEAR A YUMMY STEAK For a delicious steak without a lot of butter or oil, cook it in a skillet sprinkled with about a teaspoon of kosher or other coarse salt. The salt crystals will prevent the…

I’VE BEEN a single dad for 13 years. We are inundated by studies and books and advice: Do this or that if you want your child to succeed. I try to tune most of it out. When I feel overwhelmed, I call my mother. When my three children were younger, and the strain of taking care of them seemed as though it would overwhelm me, my mother would tell me what an elderly babysitter once told her when she, too, felt overwhelmed: “One day they’ll be able to get themselves a cup of water.” It was a simple way of saying that children grow up and become more self-reliant, and eventually they set out on their own to chart their own course. You won’t always have to wait on them…

1 USE A LOW-FLOW SHOWERHEAD Gone are the days when low-flow meant subpar in terms of showering. To give consumers more control, these devices now offer options for different GPM (gallons per minute) rates during a shower. The result: Users can adjust to a low rate for lathering and a higher rate for rinsing. 2 DON’T PREHEAT YOUR OVEN Did you know that unless you are cooking temperamental things—such as bread or other baked goods—there is no need to warm up your oven? The next time you make dinner (be that meat or lasagna), don’t turn on your oven until you put in the food. Also, never preheat for things that will cook for more than an hour—the oven will reach the desired temperature as the food cooks. 3 CLEAN…

SIT. STAND. REPEAT. The trick: You can’t use your hands. This deceptively simple measure of flexibility and strength can predict who will live longer, according to a study by Brazilian physician Claudio Gil Araújo. The study came about when Dr. Araújo noticed that many of his patients, particularly older people, had trouble with ordinary motions such as bending down to pick up something from the floor. As people age, he knew, reduced muscle power and loss of balance could greatly increase the risk of dangerous falls. So Dr. Araújo and his colleagues developed the sitting-rising test, or SRT, to determine a person’s core strength, flexibility, and longevity. Try It! • Stand with bare feet in a clear space. • Lower yourself to a sitting position on the floor, trying not…

What DUMB CRIMINALS know … One man’s weapon is another man’s banana. According to the bus driver, it was a brutal, unprovoked attack. A woman got on his bus and assaulted him with a half-eaten banana. “I had banana all over me,” he insisted. “On my tie, my shirt, and my eye.” The woman explained that the driver had almost hit her car and that when she entered the bus to rationally discuss the matter, the banana slipped ... right into his tie, his shirt, his eye … The court may not have believed that, but it did believe her when she argued that it was “unreasonable that a banana could cause this much damage.” They slapped her with a fine of only about $100. Source: thelocal.se Most people are…

AT TEN YEARS OLD, I borrowed a book from the library that had the word mistress in the title. Granted, the cover art featured a gilded carriage reminiscent of Cinderella’s, with sparkles that flashed in the spokes of the wheels. My mother did not notice this book amid my stack of 20 until I was at home reading it. The book was confiscated, and we went back to the library. I remember how embarrassed I was as my mother explained that I needed reading material that was different from the book, ahem—she cleared her throat and looked down—that we had just returned. The librarian on duty was the antithesis of the stereotype. She was tall and thin with short auburn hair swept back from pale, high cheekbones. Her eyes were…

HOW MUCH EMOTIONAL and psychic space should politics take up in a normal, healthy brain? Let’s use one of President Obama’s favorite rhetorical devices and frame the issue with the two extremes. On the one hand, there are those who are completely cynical about politics. But, as the columnist Michael Gerson has put it, this sort of cynicism is the luxury of privileged people. If you live in a functioning society, you can say politicians are just a bunch of crooks. But if you live in a place without rule of law, where a walk down a nighttime street can be terrifying, where tribalism leads to murder, you know that politics is a vital concern. On the other hand, there are those who form their identity around politics and look…

THE FARMING VILLAGE of Sodeto sits perched atop a dusty outcropping of land in northeastern Spain. It’s barely a dot on the map—consisting of about 240 people. Identical stone houses and barns sit in rows, and automobiles caked with mud line the grassy town square. There are no overt signs of wealth, but if you peek through any of the kitchen windows, you’ll see something odd: enormous flat-screen TVs and sleek marble countertops so freshly installed, they’d look more appropriate in a display condo. At Bar Cañamoto, the town’s sole drinking establishment, you’ll usually find a half dozen residents drinking botellitas of Estrella beer after a long day of laboring in the fields. But unlike the locals in other towns, these farmers and truck drivers pay for their one-euro beers…

Google’s Special Side Business One day, you may go to Google, search for how to pay your electric bill online—and find out that Google will take care of it for you. In short: Google is actually a fully licensed electricity broker. No, it’s not part of some master plan to dominate the world. All those Google searches take up a lot of juice, so the company tries to source green electricity, investing in a large solar installation and hiring goats to “mow” some lawns at its headquarters. But right now, Google can’t find enough power via these routes. So in 2010, it obtained special permission from the federal government to buy and sell electricity as if it were a utility company. For now, the company is focusing on the buying…

Winners JOANNA NGAI, 21, Bellevue, Washington “Carve something scary into your pumpkins.” CHELSEA KENNEDY, 16, Naples, Florida “I knew the first time I laid eyes on him that we’d be together forever. After all, we are locked in the same cage.” WILL EHNERT, 17, Middleton, Wisconsin “It’s shocking what they’re wearing at the beach these days!” VINCENT ALEXANDER, 21, Carroll, Ohio…

You know what the greatest remedy on earth is today? … It’s not a pill. It’s not a shot. It’s a hug. BRUCE DERN, actor WE’RE ALL SO BUSY CHASING THE EXTRAORDINARY THAT WE FORGET TO STOP AND BE GRATEFUL FOR THE ORDINARY. BRENÉ BROWN, professor SOMETIMES YOU LIE IN BED AT NIGHT AND YOU DON’T HAVE A SINGLE THING TO WORRY ABOUT. THAT ALWAYS WORRIES ME! CHARLIE BROWN Two kinds of players who ain’t worth a damn: one that never does what he’s told and the other that does nothing except what he’s told. OAIL ANDREW “BUM” PHILLIPS, coach DO NOT WAIT UNTIL CONDITIONS ARE PERFECT TO BEGIN. BEGINNING MAKES CONDITIONS PERFECT. ALAN COHEN, writer Life is just a big extended improvisation. Embrace the ever-changing, ever-evolving world with the…

The Woman Who Landed on Water AT 1,200 FEET, Deniece De Priester glanced once more at the Manhattan skyline, then angled her airplane toward home. Deniece’s friend, a corrections officer named Chris Smidt, sat beside her in the cockpit, admiring the view. Then, as Deniece traced the course of the Hudson River north along the New Jersey coast, the engine of the 45-year-old Piper PA-32-260 she’d just bought shook violently and died. The plane plummeted 400 feet. “Don’t panic,” she told Chris. After 17 years as a pilot of both commercial jets and tiny planes like the Piper, Deniece had learned how to remain calm. She quickly checked the engine flow, propeller settings, fuel-air mixture, and fuel tanks, but she couldn’t identify the problem. Suddenly the engine roared to life,…

I MENTIONED to my sons that some teens used Facebook to plan a robbery at a local mall. “How did the NSA miss that?” my 21-year-old asked. “I told you guys,” said my 17-yearold. “No one uses Facebook anymore.” MARY-HEATHER REYNOLDS, Prattville, Alabama WHEN A FAMILY FRIEND passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.” He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.” CHARLES GILDERSLEEVE, Hohenwald, Tennessee OVERHEARD AT A ZUMBA CLASS: First woman: Look at me—I have a muffin top. Second woman: You’re complaining? I have the whole muffin! CORA MCGRATH, New Windsor, New York ON THE SUBWAY, untangling earbuds is the new knitting. The…

…we would be boring, normal, and not at all exciting for anyone to watch—and I like it that way. PRISCA CRAWFORD …we’d be either The Cosby Show or Little House on the Prairie. Great shows with family values! WILLIAM BRUSH …Dr. Phil would be our weekly guest star. TANIA LYNN FLETCHER …it would be the highest-rated soap opera in television history. CRISTINA ALVARADO-PIERCE …it would take the shape of The Odd Couple. He’s Oscar, and I’m Felix. LISA DUVAL …it would look like Duck Dynasty meets The Middle. KIMBERLY WRIGHT BAKER …it would be like The Flintstones. We use a VCR and don’t text. MARGUERITE DISMUKES FISCHER …my dad would be the star! He’s a hoot! WENDY RAWAL …we’d be called The dysFUNctionals. DIVIANDRY CARDONA…

RECENTLY, I’D planned a day of fun with my young son. However, I also had a deadline to meet. I thought I could juggle the two, but of course, it didn’t work out. After some halfhearted playground trips, too much TV, and a rushed bedtime story—along with plenty of tantrums—I slumped at the kitchen table to send yet more e-mails, rebuking myself for the fact that, once again, I hadn’t phoned my elderly grandfather or paid all my bills. Ordinarily, I’d be the first to kick myself for mismanaging time, but the day before, I had read a book that made me realize I wasn’t just a harried mother nor neglectful by nature. I was operating under the “scarcity mind-set.” In Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much, social…

TO ME, HOT CROSS BUNS are as synonymous with Good Friday as scrambling around town to buy Easter egg dye and synthetic blue grass. There’s so much legend and lore behind hot cross buns, which date back to the old country. Some bakers believed that hanging a hot cross bun in the kitchen ensured that all bread made in the coming year would rise successfully. And friends who gift one another with hot cross buns each spring are said to remain friends for life. As for me? I just love carrying on my mom’s tradition of making these globs of carby goodness at Easter time and sharing them with those I love. Servings: 18 BUNS 2 cups whole milk 1/2 cup canola oil 3/4 cup sugar, divided 1 package (21/4…

SCENE: THE OFFICE Me: We have to submit a form to every state. Coworker: All 51? Me: Fifty-one? Coworker: Whatever. I’m not good at geometry. JILL LLOYD, Bexley, Ohio WHO WOULDN’T be inspired to hire this young man? If his cover letter is to be believed, he’s eager to light a fire under the most recalcitrant colleague: “I am a motivated, self-igniting person.” HOW CLASSICAL MAESTROS also used their batons to stab each other in the back: • "If he had been making shell casings during the war, it might have made for better music." CAMILLE SAINT-SAENS, on Maurice Ravel • "Wagner has beautiful moments but awful quarters of an hour." GIOACHINO ROSSINI, on Richard Wagner • "I liked the opera very much. Everything but the music." BENJAMIN BRITTEN, on…

LAST SUMMER, after a broken wristbone slipped too far out of place to fuse properly, I was scheduled for a minor, same-day surgery to install a plate and screws. I knew I’d have to skip breakfast that morning and arrange for someone to drive me home afterward. But along the way, I picked up a number of other little tips—from nurses, doctors, and even fellow patients—that weren’t mentioned in my official pre-op instructions but had a dramatic impact on my health and recovery. The surprising advice I learned could help people having one of the 50 million–plus outpatient surgeries this year. DAYS BEFORE • DRINK UP It’s vital that there’s nothing in your stomach during general anesthesia (food or drink could be a choking hazard). But if you’re well hydrated,…

MY PATIENT TED was 45 and athletic and a fairly healthy eater, but he smoked a few cigarettes a week. When I told him that his total cholesterol was high, at 230 mg/dl (a desirable level is considered 200 or lower), he asked, “Do I really need to take a statin?” I mentally reviewed the cholesterol guidelines that two major cardiology societies recently published. Ted wouldn’t have been a clear-cut candidate for the cholesterol drugs under the old rules, but according to the new ones, he was. Ted was concerned—and as an integrative cardiologist who prefers to prescribe veggies rather than drugs, so was I. There’s no doubt that statins save lives. But as the controversial guidelines call for millions more Americans to start statins, it’s important to understand the…

ON A WEDNESDAY EVENING last September, Michelle Grainger and her husband, Steve Le Goff, stood in a downpour in front of their two-story Victorian home, one of a handful of historic structures in the tiny hamlet of Salina, Colorado, a few miles west of Boulder. They wondered aloud how much worse the storm would get. It had been raining for three days, and Gold Run Creek, the normally placid stream that flowed 40 feet from their home, had become a raging torrent. "I think [ the water] is going to reach the garage,” said Steve, 51. Still, the couple believed they were well prepared for the rising stream. Ever since the Four Mile Canyon Fire in 2010, which had wiped out most of the trees and much of the vegetation…

THE BEST MEDICINE DOWNTON TABBY From Downton Tabby, by Chris Kelly (Simon & Schuster) LADY GAGA IS NOW saying that sometime in 2015 she will actually perform a concert from space. It’s always so much fun when artists do a show in their hometown. JIMMY FALLON, on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon A LION COMES ACROSS two men, one reading and the other writing. The beast pounces on and devours the reader but ignores the writer. Why? Because, as everyone knows, a writer cramps while a reader digests. “The size of my head is neither here nor there. It is the hole that it is stuck in that is too small.” “Never eat your own fur in a month without an r in it.” “Stop licking yourself there, dear. It’s…

In 1968, a brawling, shaggy, redheaded, hard-partying 18-year-old named David Milarch (pronounced Mill-ark) graduated from a Detroitarea high school and took off on a road trip with a friend. They cruised along in a ’61 Oldsmobile station wagon, sleeping in the car at night or on the ground nearby. Destination: San Francisco. But Milarch, unlike his buddy, harbored a deeper longing than crashing parties. “Cities didn’t interest me so much,” he says. “I wanted to see the redwood forests.” The son and grandson of nurserymen, Milarch grew up working on his father’s shade tree farm, where ash, maple, oak, birch, and locust trees were cultivated. From age seven, he was in the fields every day after school and every weekend—weeding, hoeing, digging, and planting. He considered his dad a slave…

HUNGRY, HUNGRY HUMORISTS I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time,” so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. STEVEN WRIGHT Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? GEORGE CARLIN Guess what, tapas: You’re the exact Venn diagram midpoint of my two least favorite things in the world: small portions and sharing with anybody. @EIREANNDOLAN Bacon was definitely the first-round draft pick in the BLT. No one’s building a sandwich around lettuce. @JOSHGONDELMAN “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”—People who don’t understand what cake is for. @SHIRASELKO I don’t want to say we eat out a lot, but I’ve noticed that lately when I call my kids for dinner, they run to the car. JULIE KIDD…

The Popsicle … by an 11-Year-Old The fact that a child invented the iconic treat is not the unexpected bit. This is: Eleven-year-old Frank Epperson invented the Popsicle before people had freezers in their homes. Back in the day, the kids were all keen on “soda water powder”—a Kool-Aid–like drink mix that made carbonated beverages. One night in 1905, Frank accidentally left his drink outside on the porch, and it froze overnight. Lo and behold, it was absolutely delicious. Epperson cleverly sat on his invention, keeping it secret for 18 years, until he was in the position to make something of it. In 1923, he decided to patent his Epsicles (“Epp’s icicles”), but his children refused to use that name, since none of them called their father Epp. They began…

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT ON HEALTHY EATING 5 Fruits You Didn’t Realize Cause Gas Apples Blackberries Mangoes Plums Watermelons TECH TIP Run, Computer, Run! Is your machine kind of sluggish? Try adding more RAM. If you’re considering a memory cleaner, know that CNET warns, “This process technically frees up RAM but only in the sense that squeezing a sponge frees up water-absorbing capability.” TRUE STORIES Believe in Miracles Enjoy touching short stories from a new Chicken Soup for the Soul that describe signs of the divine at work: a child receiving a heavenly message, a long-gone father delivering a comforting talisman, and a voice warning a wife of impending danger at home. PETS What Do Dogs Dream About? With sleep patterns and brain activities similar to those of humans,…