Table of contents for May 2016 in Reader's Digest

I TOOK MY WILDLIFE-LOVING family to Yellowstone this winter. My father loved the West, and I remember gaping at Old Faithful, sleeping in a tepee, and rafting down the Snake River when I was my daughters’ age. The park felt mystical and massive to me as a girl. But would it mean something else in this season and at this phase of my life? Now that I was mature enough to look closer, what might I observe and learn? Context matters. At our local zoo, Olivia and Sophia could never be bothered to stop and behold the bison as they toddled their way to see Jelly and Jam in the black bear exhibit. But here the bison marched freely through endless black-and-white landscape. It’s impossible not to appreciate the quiet…

ON A BREEZY Saturday in April 2014, former police officer Kevin O’Connor and his son, Ryan, were standing in a park near the Fox River in Geneva, Illinois. As Kevin gazed at the river, he caught sight of several people on the bank motioning toward the water. When he looked in that direction, he noticed a bright red kayak swirling in the turbulent water at the base of the Geneva Dam, 300 feet away. Kevin assumed the kayaker had jumped out of the boat. “Then I heard sirens,” says Kevin, now 42. “That’s when I realized somebody was in trouble.” He couldn’t see anyone in the river, but he sped toward the bank and splashed into the freezing water. About 150 feet from shore, he spied an object bobbing downriver.…

THE GOOD DOCTOR Toto was a white dog with a small red tongue, and his stuffing was red as well. When his seams began to come apart beneath his knitted collar, it looked to my six-year-old eyes as though he were bleeding. That night, my father left for his shift in the emergency room with Toto wrapped in a blanket. The next day, Dad showed me the X-rays and Polaroid photographs of the surgery. Beneath the bandage on Toto’s neck was a clean row of stitches. I still have the injury report! I love you, Dad. DANICA HELFIN, Tifton, Georgia A SMALL FORTUNE While walking across an open, grassy field, I became excited as my hand swooped toward the ground like an eagle attacking its prey. I picked up half…

IN 2011, BRITISH wildlife photographer David Slater traveled to the Tangkoko Reserve on the island of Sulawesi in Indonesia. After following a troop of about 25 endangered crested black macaque monkeys in the jungle, Slater set up his camera on a tripod. The monkeys approached it, fascinated by their reflections in the lens. Eventually, they began playing with the camera and took actual photos of themselves. One monkey in particular took many self-portraits, some of which appeared with a July 2011 Daily Mail article about Slater’s interaction with the monkeys. One of the “selfies” became the cover of a book of Slater’s work, Wildlife Personalities, which was published in 2014 by Blurb, Inc., in San Francisco. The book identifies Slater as the copyright owner of the selfies. In September 2015,…

JACKIE RODRIGUEZ gained 70 pounds after her first child was born. “I was very unhappy, but I stayed like that for two years,” she says. Then, when her daughter was two, she dropped all the weight with practically no effort. “I wasn’t using any diet pills, fat burners, or shakes … nothing,” she recalls. The transformation had nothing to do with what Rodriguez ate. Rather, it began when she started a new job that shook up her daily routine. Working in the office of a DJ company near her apartment in the Bronx in New York City, she started her shift at 5:30 p.m. Instead of sharing dinner with her husband at nine, when he got home from his job as a superintendent, she ate alone at five, before she…

Contact Lens Detects Glaucoma Progression A leading cause of blindness is glaucoma, an eye disease that damages the optic nerve. Columbia University researchers tested a new lens on 40 patients, who wore it for 24 hours at home. As eye pressure fluctuates, it generates an electrical signal that the lens records. Patients with steeper and longer spikes tended to have faster glaucoma progression. This data could help clinicians better monitor the disease. The lens, called the Sensimed Triggerfish, is approved in Europe but is awaiting FDA approval. How Your Address Affects Your Heart A high-rise abode could raise the risk of cardiac arrest death, according to an analysis of 8,216 emergency 911 calls in Canada. People were more likely to survive if they lived below the third floor than above…

Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions. @SCBCHBUM (ERICA) If growing up in the ’80s taught me one thing, it’s that my friends and I should have found a treasure map by now. @LIZHACKETT Luke Skywalker is my favorite hero that looks 100 percent prepared to figure skate at all times. @THENATEWOLF (NATHAN USHER) “The end.” —Quentin Tarantino starting a bedtime story @SAMGRITTNER The Revenant (2015). An epic tale of one man’s desperate journey to do whatever it takes to finally win an Oscar. @BADBANANA (TIM SIEDELL) Watch The Walking Dead with someone who’s super into it so every time a zombie appears, you can pull the old, “Wait, who’s this, now?” @KARENKILGARIFF…

If you’re a fan of lousy literature, you’re in luck: Here are two intentionally bad first lin As he caressed her hair, cheek, forehead, chin, collarbone, shoulder, upper arm, and stomach, she knew that her decision to take Octoman as a lover was the correct one. L. C. If Vicky Walters had known that ordering an extra shot of espresso in her grande non-fat sugar free one pump raspberry syrup two pumps vanilla syrup soy latte that Wednesday would lead to her death and subsequent rebirth as a vampire, she probably would have at least gotten whipped cream. M. C. From the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest…

Here we pay tribute to the teachers of wisdom. All who choose to re-create the standard way of leaving, Who carefully furl away grief in the name of celebrating The greater weave, who allow experience to shine as it should, The beauty of all things held high and seen well, Even in the darkest of times. It is these guides who recognize the fickle ways of the body, Knowing that all life is not had in the mind, who discover The sturdy ground is in the kith and kin, in the loves We nurture with the simple give and take that can only be had Through such constant connection. It is these who settle on patience in the face of mystery and misfortune, knowing that we are but provided with…

YOU CAN’T MAKE a call or send a text on your cell phone in Green Bank, West Virginia. Wireless Internet is outlawed, as is Bluetooth. As you approach the tiny town on a two-lane road that snakes through the Allegheny Mountains, the bars on your cell phone fall like dominoes, and the scan function on the radio ceases to work. The rusted pay phone on the north side of town is the only way for a visitor to reach the rest of the world. It’s a premodern place by design, devoid of the gadgets and technologies that define life today. The reason for the town’s empty airwaves is visible the moment you arrive. It’s the Robert C. Byrd telescope, aka the GBT, a gleaming white, 485-foot-tall behemoth of a dish.…

Funny Family Stories I died laughing at the cover story. Have you ever noticed that fun is in the word dysfunctional? The more dysfunctional your family is, the more fun you are! MARTHA VILLANUEVA, Rohnert Park, California Picture This I’d like to add one more suggestion. Snap a picture of your luggage when you’re preparing to travel. This can be a huge help if you have to report lost bags. P. W., via e-mail Genius Uses for Your Microwave There is a much simpler way to keep from crying while cutting up an onion: Keep your mouth shut! This trick works for me every time. JOHN COLLINS, Weatherford, Texas Foods That Trick Your Taste Buds In your latest issue, you suggest adding salt to a grapefruit to make it taste…

In December 2015, PETA argued that the case presents an issue of “first impression,” meaning that a question about the interpretation of a law was being asked for the first time: “Does the Copyright Act permit Plaintiff’s ownership of the works or give him standing to assert claims under that statute?” But in January, U.S. District Judge William Orrick ruled in favor of the defense to dismiss the case: “While Congress and the president can extend protection of law to animals, there is no indication that they did so in the Copyright Act.” In other words, Naruto can’t own the copyright to the photos he took. “We believe Congress has been clear in the Copyright Act,” says Kerr. “The Act speaks in broad terms … to allow courts to fill…

YAMS VS. SWEET POTATOES True yams have rough, scaly skin and often purple or red flesh, can grow up to five feet, and are starchier than sweet potatoes. But they’re difficult to find in American supermarkets. There, you’ll actually discover that one variety of sweet potatoes has been labeled yams. The USDA allows orange-fleshed sweet potatoes to be called yams to differentiate them from whitefleshed sweet potatoes. PASTA VS. NOODLES Pasta, made from a stiff dough of durum wheat and water, has a stronger, more elastic texture than do noodles and is usually dressed with sauce. Noodles, on the other hand, are typically made from a soft paste of eggs, flour, and salt and served in a broth. CLUB SODA VS. SELTZER Both drinks are plain water with carbon dioxide…

• WOOD FLOOR Seasonal changes may cause wood boards to swell and shrink, resulting in small gaps. When the boards rub against one another, they squeak. To stop the noisy friction, sprinkle baby powder over the squeak and sweep it into the board seams with a dry paintbrush. If the seams are tight, use a thin plastic card. Reapply after mopping the floor. • BED FRAME Noisy bed disturbing your sweet z’s? Remove the mattress and use a wrench to tighten any loose bed-frame bolts. If you still detect a squeak, line each slat of the bed frame with mismatched socks, old T-shirts, or other scrap materials before replacing the mattress. This will create a buffer between the mattress and frame and eliminate friction points. • SHOES A great grand…

• Fast for at least half of each day. Try not to eat for at least a 12-hour span daily. Ideally your fast would begin after the evening meal (from 6 to 8 p.m.) and extend until breakfast (8 a.m.). • Eat breakfast like a king and dinner like a pauper. A 2013 Israeli study put overweight and obese women into two groups. Both had the same number of calories, but one ate a large breakfast, a medium lunch, and a small dinner; the other had a small breakfast, a medium lunch, and a large dinner. The large-breakfast group lost more weight and showed a stronger improvement in metabolic health metrics. • Forgo late-night noshing. A 2015 study found that an evening meal raises people’s blood sugar levels 17 percent…

■ A former art lecturer at MIT was sentenced to a year in jail for robbing a bank. Although he admitted to committing the crime, he insisted he should not serve time. HIS EXCUSE: It was done as part of a performance art piece. Source: masslive.com ■ After a Breathalyzer test showed her blood alcohol level was more than four times the legal limit, a New York State woman was arrested. But, she said, there was an explanation. HER EXCUSE: She suffered from auto-brewery syndrome, which meant her body created alcohol. Source: CNN ■ Another disputed DUI occurred in Wisconsin. The 75-year-old driver told officers he hadn’t touched a drop. HIS EXCUSE: His blood alcohol level was high because of his dinner— beer-battered fish. Source: WISC-TV ■ On February 7,…

SHORTLY AFTER doctors diagnosed ten-year-old Jenny Brown with bone cancer, they had to amputate her right leg below the knee to save her life. Facing a year of chemotherapy after the surgery, Jenny begged her mother for a kitten. The orange calico Jenny named Boogie rarely left her side, licking tears from her cheeks after hospital visits and curling up in her lap as she adjusted to life with a prosthetic leg. “My relationship with Boogie showed me that animals think, feel, and suffer as much as we do,” says Jenny, now 44. In 1994, Jenny graduated from Columbia College Chicago with a concentration in film and video, and began a career in television and documentary production, eventually working for ABC, PBS, and the Discovery Channel. On the side, she…

FROM THE BOOK “IF YOU LEAN IN, WILL MEN JUST LOOK DOWN YOUR BLOUSE?” NO. 1. I will stop purchasing objects from flea markets, antiques fairs, and online dealers in a thinly disguised quest for my long-lost and occasionally misspent youth. I will remind myself that buying a nearly empty bottle containing six whiffs of Evening in Paris cologne will not conjure up my robust aunts who wore it or miraculously manifest their soft, padded shoulders against which I fell into a dreamless sleep on Sunday afternoons. I will remind myself that possessing the midnight blue, silver-capped bottle will merely force me to regret spending more money on an empty vessel than they, in their frugality and wisdom, would have spent for a full one. In my life, not only…

I ALWAYS SAY to people, if they’re feeling depressed, go take a road trip and see what’s actually happening ... In every street sign there is poetry and history. GILLIAN WELCH, musician, in the Guardian WE ALL BENEFIT from hearing everybody’s stories. It makes our world better. It includes more voices ... It makes life worth living, you know what I mean? I’m not interested in living in a bubble where I’m only entertaining people just like me, or I’m only singing to my own versions of myself. I love myself, but I think you can do better. SAMANTHA BEE, comedian, in Mother Jones I KEEP ALL THE CLOTHES I wear on TV in my office on a little hanging rack. My girlfriend calls it all the colors of the…

MY COLLECTION of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I use it as both. When not in use, it is prominently displayed in a decorative ceramic utensil caddy in my kitchen. The mystery of the spoon/spatula was recently solved when I found one in its original packaging at a rummage sale. It’s a pooper-scooper. PATTY BROZO, Green Valle y, Arizona WHAT MY GIRLFRIEND THOUGHT, FIRST FOUR DATES: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 3. OK, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts. @RISTOLABLE SIGN IN NEW AGEY Woodstock, New York: “If you lived here, you’d be om by now.” ALAN ZOLDAN, Wesley Hills, New York POLICE…

1 BREAD Toast bread for a sturdier base. To cut in half, aim the knife straight across rather than diagonally. A straight cut provides thicker, stronger corners that make it difficult for fillings to slip out. 2 LETTUCE AND AVOCADO Dry lettuce with a paper towel to protect the bread from getting soggy. Place at the top for crispiness. Put avocado here so it’s not squished in the middle. 3 CHEESE Layer cheese near the top: It protects the bread from the moist middle layer of vegetables and reinforces the sandwich’s structure. 4 CRUNCHY LAYER Place crispy ingredients such as bacon, walnuts, or celery in the center. This layer offers mouthwatering texture and stays in place surrounded by pillowy layers. 5 VEGETABLES Salt tomato and cucumber slices and place on…

BEHOLD MY POWERFUL MIND TRICKS I can think myself full. If you’re indulging in a milk shake and I think it’s high in fat and calories, levels of my hunger hormone ghrelin will dip a lot lower—and leave me feeling more satisfied—than if I believe I’m sipping on a healthier shake, even if the two have the same calorie count, a study in the journal Health Psychology showed. I can reshape my brain through meditation. According to MRI scans, the hippocampus—the part of the brain in charge of learning and memory— thickens after only a couple of months of mindful meditation. Brain-cell density also decreases in the amygdala (responsible for fear, anxiety, and stress). Those physical brain changes can alter your mood. I can raise my body temperature. A group…

MY WIFE, MY CHILDREN, and I stood in front of a white, seamless wall, our noses practically touching its surface. Suddenly, the wall opened—it was a hidden door to the Oval Office. “Come on in, Fournier!” shouted George W. Bush. “Who ya’ dragging in?” It was my last day covering the White House for the Associated Press, and this 2003 visit was a courtesy traditionally afforded to departing correspondents. I introduced my wife, Lori, and daughters, Holly and Abby, before turning to my son, Tyler, five. “Where’s Barney?” Tyler asked. The Scottish terrier ran in, and Bush said, “Let’s do a photo!” As the most powerful man on earth posed, my son launched into a onesided conversation. “Scottish terriers are called Scotties; they originated from Scotland; they can be traced…

STATISTICALLY, what happens on this superstitious day is no more bizarre than what goes on during any other day of the year. Well, we’ll find out if the statisticians are correct this month because 2016 is the rare year that has only one Friday the 13th on the calendar, and it falls in May. Friggatriskaidekaphobes (Friday the 13th scaredy-cats) are preparing for the worst. After all, the following all occurred on this blackest of days. 1 On Friday, October 13, 1307, the French rounded up thousands of Knights Templars and tortured them as heretics. Some wonder whether this was the beginning of the whole Friday the 13th mythology (if it is a myth …). 2 On Friday, November 13, 1829, 10,000 people gathered to watch Sam Patch jump into New…

This month’s quiz is for fans of the BBC series and Netflix favorite Sherlock, as well as readers of the original mystery tales by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Sleuth out the meanings—or follow the trail to the next page for answers. 1. connoisseur (kah-neh-'sir) n.—A: swindler. B: expert. C: paid informant. 2. faculties ('fa-kuhl-teez) n.— A: powers. B: intricate details. C: sudden insights. 3. infallible (in-'fa-leh-buhl) adj.— A: never wrong. B: remaining questionable or unsolved. C: carefully balanced. 4. minatory ('min-uh-tor-ee) adj.— A: unethical. B: with a menacing quality. C: subversive. 5. furtive ('fer-tiv) adj.—A: nervous. B: sneaky. C: tall and thin. 6. untoward (uhn-'toh-uhrd) adj.— A: illogical. B: strongly opinionated. C: not favorable. 7. facilitate (fuh-'sih-luh-tayt) v.—A: make easier. B: confront. C: unravel. 8. incisive (in-'siy-siv) adj.— A: urgent.…

He who laughs most learns best. JOHN CLEESE, comedian and writer SPEAK YOUR MIND, EVEN IF YOUR VOICE SHAKES. MAGGIE KUHN, activist A skill is something you learn. Talent is what you can’t help doing. CAROLINE GHOSN, Levo CEO THE FIRST PAGE SELLS THAT BOOK; THE LAST PAGE SELLS YOUR NEXT BOOK. MICKEY SPILLANE, crime writer To be a fan is to know that loving trumps being beloved. CARRIE BROWNSTEIN, musician MY FATHER ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT A FOOL AT 40 IS A FOOL FOR LIFE. IDRIS ELBA, actor I promise there’ll be a tomorrow. It’s already tomorrow in Australia. CHARLES SCHULZ, cartoonist…