Table of contents for March 2017 in Reader's Digest

EDITOR SPOTLIGHT: Andy Simmons IN THE EVENT OF A life-threatening situation, says one survival psychologist, 10 percent of us will face our fears rationally, 80 percent will act stunned, and another 10 percent will become hysterical and scream like five-year-old girls. Which group would you fall into? If you’re anything like the seven people featured in the “I Survived!” package I edited (page 62), you’d not only take the rational route, but you’d also do it with amazing composure. Or maybe you’d respond the way I did. The one time I recall thinking, “Hmm, I wish I’d already written my will,” I was 11. I was playing basketball, and the school-yard bully tripped me. With knees bloodied, I mumbled something about his resembling a particular posterior body part. He took…

IN A CLOSE-UP, the two men almost look as if they were posed by a Renaissance artist—one cradled in the other’s arms, a skyward, beatific expression on his face. But pull back on the photo and you’ll see the far more earthly explanation for the scene. One man is actually pulling the other through the window of an SUV that is perched perilously on a cliff 30 feet above a busy roadway. Jason Warnock, then 29, is the man making the life-saving maneuver. He was driving in Lewiston, Idaho, in April 2015 when he came upon a fallen tree in the middle of the road. “I was like, What the heck?” he told kxly.com. Warnock craned his neck to peer up the side of a cliff. At the very top,…

IN MAY 2010, Chastity Jones saw an ad for a customer service job at a call center in Mobile, Alabama. Catastrophe Management Solutions (CMS), which handles customer calls for insurance companies, needed people with professional phone skills. Jones filled out an online application and was asked to come to the office for an in-person interview. A few days later, she arrived at CMS in a blue business suit and waited with other applicants for a group interview. Jones was among several candidates offered a position that very day by CMS human resources manager Jeannie Wilson. All that remained was for Jones to fill out some paperwork and take a drug test, which was scheduled for a future date. When Jones realized she wasn’t available that day, she privately told Wilson…

ONCE UPON A TIME, there was a difference between on and off. Now it’s more complicated: Roughly 50 devices and appliances in the typical American home are always drawing power, even when they’re not being actively used. In fact, devices in idle power mode account for about a quarter of all residential energy consumption, according to a study by the Natural Resources Defense Council. And the costs add up. All told, devices that are in standby or sleep mode can use the equivalent of up to 50 power plants’ worth of electricity and cost more than $19 billion in electricity bills every year in the United States. And there’s an environmental cost: Electricity production represents about 37 percent of all domestic carbon dioxide emissions. Some of the Big Guzzlers My…

An Easy Jet Lag Weapon Sleeping pills, light-regulating apps, herbal remedies—there’s enough jet lag advice to fill a 747. But one of the easiest tricks is to regulate your mealtimes. In a recent study of airline crew members on long flights, researchers found that travelers who eat at normal mealtimes in their destination time zone (as opposed to eating whenever they want) will likely experience fewer symptoms of jet lag—such as fatigue, moodiness, and brain fog. Fortunately, many airlines serve onboard meals according to the time at their final stop. Of course, that means you’ve got to eat when, as well as what, they serve you. How Middle-Aged Memory Works Researchers at McGill University used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to monitor the brain activity of people ages 19 to…

I was on my way home from work, cutting through the park. On that day, the sun seemed to set faster than usual, and suddenly I found myself walking in the dark. I was less than half a mile from my apartment, but the path would lead me over a bridge, across train tracks, and through an unlit underpass. Then I heard him—a stranger running alongside me in a half crouch, partly obscured by the bushes. My mouth went dry; my legs felt like water. But I didn’t pick up my pace—instead, I stopped, turned, and faced him. He came out of the bushes and said he’d been watching me “for a long time.” As he walked beside me, I steered us closer to the edge of the park. When…

I t was last August, and as we were about to leave the Crabtree Valley Mall in Raleigh, North Carolina, my sister stepped into a kids’ shoe store near the food court. My 15-year-old nephew took the opportunity to refill his drink. While my mother waited near the store with my niece, I went to round up my nephew. I headed through the large food court and spotted him at the Chick-fil-A counter. That’s when I heard what sounded like a train moving through the food court. Its momentum built around me, and the floor began to shake. Then I saw people emerge from around the corner: scores of people running through the food court, screaming, waving their hands in the air. It was a stampede, and it was about…

1. raconteur (ra-kahn-'ter) n.— A: skillful storyteller. B: blackmailer. C: court jester. 2. faience (fay-'ans) n.—A: false pretenses. B: fidelity. C: glazed pottery. 3. couturier (koo-'tuhr-ee-er) n.— A: head chef. B: fashion designer. C: museum guide. 4. laissez-faire (leh-say-'fair) adj.—A: festive. B: noninterfering. C: done by women. 5. cabal (kuh-'bahl) n.— A: plotting group. B: young horse. C: crystal wineglass. 6. fait accompli (fayt ah-cahm- 'plee) n.—A: done deal. B: lucky charm. C: partner in crime. 7. au courant (oh kuh-'rahn) adj.— A: on the contrary. B: with cherries on top. C: up-to-date. 8. interlard (ihn-ter-'lahrd) v.— A: encroach on. B: vary by intermixing. C: fluctuate in weight. 9. soupçon (soop-'sohn) n.— A: wooden ladle. B: swindle. C: small amount. 10. milieu (meel-'yeu) n.— A: environment. B: thousand. C: armed…

Miracles in Real Life So beautiful! I actually shed tears of joy. The kicker was in the article about the woman who’d spent years looking for a beloved social worker who would eventually adopt her as an adult. The line that simply overwhelmed me: “Your Regina is looking for you.” J. P., via e-mai l Finish This Sentence The one New Year’s resolution my friend Lisa kept was to touch base with me every single day in 2016. Sometimes it was just a simple text to say hello; other times it was a long conversation. It touches me to have a friend who kept such a wonderful promise. JILL DILLON, Nekoosa, Wisconsin The Gift of Food Having worked in a domestic violence shelter, I’d like to make this suggestion: Forget…

LIKE YOU, I’m plagued by spammers. Unlike you, I decided to respond. Here are excerpts from my correspondence with a potential “business partner,” a Mr. “John Kelly.” FROM: John Kelly TO: James Veitch I need your help. FROM: James Veitch TO: John Kelly John! Why? Who are you? FROM: John Kelly TO: James Veitch Dear friend, My name is John Kelly. I am 59 years old man. I am in a hospital in Dubai. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next six months due to my cancer problem (cancer of the lever). I am giving my money away because of my health and the fact that my second wife is a terrifying woman to deal with, marrying her was the only mistake I made in my life. She has sold…

GO WEST, YOUNG MAN Billy was the resident cowboy of my kindergarten class, coming to school each day dressed in chaps, a vest, and a cowboy hat. One morning, he told me his mother was having a baby. “I’m going to teach my little brother all the things every cowboy should know, like how to ride a horse and rope a steer,” he said. “But,” I cautioned, “what if your mother gives you a baby sister?” Billy had never considered this, and the possibility floored him. He gazed out the window for a moment before saying with resignation, “Then I’m headin’ west.” JOHN THOMAS CIMICS, Midland, Texas FOUND MONEY I was third in line at the checkout, and the lady at the cashier was purchasing basic items. Two cans of…

This past October, I took an early morning hike in the Madison Valley in southwest Montana. Knowing that bears are common throughout the area and not wanting to surprise one, I hollered out, “Hey, bear!” every 30 seconds. About three miles in, I stepped out into a meadow and hollered again. A few more steps and I spotted a grizzly bear with her cubs on the trail at the upper end of the meadow. The sow saw me right away, and they all ran up the trail. But then she stopped, turned, and charged straight for me. I yelled so she would know I was human and hopefully turn back. No such luck. I gave her a full charge of bear spray at about 25 feet. Her momentum carried her…

On the day the tornado hit, there was no indication severe weather was on its way—the sky was blue and the sun had been out. The first alert my husband, Jimmy, 67, and I, 65, got came around 9 p.m., from some scrolling text on the TV Jimmy was watching. He ran upstairs to find me in our thirdfloor bedroom, and we changed the channel from the presidential primary debate I had been watching to our local Pensacola, Florida, station. No sooner had we found coverage of the tornado than it was on top of us. It was the loudest thing I have ever heard. The bones of the house shook, and the power went out. Pink insulation flew into the room from a trapdoor to the attic, and the…

WHEN THE PACKAGE ARRIVED in the mail, Cdr. Chong “Jay” Choe stared at it in shock. This was the fifth delivery since his wife had been shipped overseas. On previous occasions, he’d brought the padded envelopes to his three-year-old daughter, Kristin, as soon as he saw the return address. She would eagerly help him open the seals, and they’d watch the DVDs together right away. But this delivery was different. Florence must have sent the disc shortly before the gunman opened fire, he thought. He wondered what she’d chosen for the reading that would be her last gift to her daughter. He could feel the square plastic case inside the pouch. But he couldn’t bring himself to pull it out, let alone watch it. So the package sat on his…

I weigh 240 pounds, and that is not OK. You know when the doctor gives you a rule of thumb for how much you should weigh? I’m pretty sure it’s not “your age plus 200 pounds.” LOUIS CK I belong to a gym now. Well, let me rephrase that: I don’t belong there at all, but I go. TED ALEXANDRO You can’t go from my level of activity into a marathon. Maybe a good start for me is not taking the car to get the mail. MEGAN MOONEY I’m on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I’ve missed only one day so far. KEVIN NEALON A gym is just a PE class that you pay to skip. LISA LANDRY My new fitness goal is to just not be slower…

My brain is not nearly as quick on the draw as it used to be. Sometimes, when I look for my glasses while wearing my glasses, I think, “My, my, it’s going to be a very smooth transition to dementia.” Maybe my brain is filled with so much accumulated intelligence—the shoe size of my ex, the names of Sarah Jessica Parker’s children, the calories in cottage cheese—that the contents are gunking up the works, not to mention leaving room for little else. In case you haven’t noticed, your brain, which by some measures peaks when you’re 22, has likely been on a cruel slide since you were, oh, say, 27. What would it take to transform it back to the days before the nuts and bolts and wires and connections…

FROM THE LOS ANGELES TIMES THE SIGN tacked to the tree was simple enough: “Did you call 911 last March 17?” it read. “You saved my life. Please call me.” It was posted in the Hollywood section of Los Angeles by a 71-year-old retired judge. The judge, Leon (he prefers that his last name not be used), was taking his car in for servicing that day, when he had a sudden, massive heart attack. He learned later that someone had called 911 and begun CPR, but the details about how his life was saved were still sketchy. After five days in the hospital and more time in outpatient recovery, Leon drove to the intersection where the drama had played out, posted his sign, and began knocking on doors. He was…

I ASK MY grandpa what it feels like to grow old. He ponders this question while we sit in his office overlooking the yard, the same yard I pulled weeds in when I was a boy. It is late in the afternoon, but Grandpa is wearing pajama bottoms, slippers, and a thick flannel shirt. His face is withered, his once taut flesh sagging loosely from his bones. A cup of black tea rests on the wooden desk in front of him. Grandpa drank coffee most of his life but switched to tea a few years back, when coffee became too hard on his stomach. Grandpa’s mind brightens and dims like a beam of light underneath a magnifying glass on a cloudy day. But on good days, on days like this…

BEING ASKED TO explain why I love America is sometimes like being asked to explain why I love my fiancée. There are all the tangible things you can rattle off so as not to look sentimental and irrational. But then there is the fact that you just do, and you ultimately can say little more than that. CHARLES C. W. COOKE, Bri tish-born American wri ter, in National Review THINK OF BOREDOM as an internal alarm. When it goes off, it is telling us something. It signals the presence of an unfulfilling situation. ANDREAS ELPIDOROU, philosophy professor, on aeon.co WE MUST continue to go into space for the future of humanity. I don’t think we will survive another thousand years without escaping beyond our fragile planet. STEPHEN HAWKING, physicist, in…

KIDS, DON’T BELIEVE everything your parents tell you. These adults recall lies they were told as children: My mom convinced my brother and me that a penguin lived behind our fridge. She warned us that if we left the door open too long, we’d use up his cold and he’d get mad and come out and bite us. My dad told me people get to speak only 10,000 words per month. If you reached the limit, he said, you couldn’t physically talk until the new month began. Anytime I was especially talkative, Dad would say, “Careful; you’re over 9,000 by now.” My father told me that pears were apples from outer space. MY FRIEND IS A LONGTIME fan of the Three Stooges, and as such owns a watch with a…

I t’s the Saturday before Thanksgiving, 1 a.m., and my chocolate Lab, Stormy, and I are headed for a duck blind a few hours north. The weather forecast calls for the possibility of fog, but the drive down Interstate 5 is clear. Along the way, I stop off for gas and lock Stormy in the camper shell before going inside the station. It’s a habit I started after I met a sad old hunter looking for his German shorthair, which had been stolen from his unlocked camper shell at a café. Back on the road, as I approach the marsh, the fog begins to build. At a curve, I hit a soft shoulder and lose control of the truck. I try to correct, but it’s too late. With a clang,…

The medicine that Walter Lewis takes for his rheumatoid arthritis causes him to wake up in the middle of the night with a dry mouth. January 15, 2016, was no different. Lewis, of Fort Wayne, Indiana, awoke at 2:30 a.m. needing water. He was walking back upstairs from the kitchen when he heard his American bulldog, Rock. Whatever Rock was doing down there, it made enough noise for me to go to him. By the time I made it to the bottom of the stairs, he was running up, and he never came up the stairs, no matter what. I think that was his way of telling me, “We’ve got to go back up.” When I got to the top of the stairs, I turned around and saw a light…

I t’s a Monday in February, and I’m back home in Fayetteville, North Carolina. Though I’m exhausted from travel, it’s my buddy’s birthday, so I go over to his girlfriend’s house and we spend the night catching up until I say goodbye around midnight. My mother’s home is just five minutes away. I had come home to celebrate her birthday. My 2011 white Range Rover is parked on the street. As I get in and reach for the seat belt, someone yanks my door open. There’s a man wearing a black ski mask and pointing an AK-47 inches from my face. “Give me the keys!” he barks. “And get out of the car!” I freeze, wondering if my buddy is playing a trick on me. I babble, but words aren’t…

1 THE SHIRLEY CLUB As Shirley Temple rose to fame as America’s curly-haired sweetheart in the 1930s, her first name became hugely popular, only to glide into obscurity along with the good ship Lollipop. Fortunately, there are still enough of her namesakes to fill the Shirley Club. Members hold social events and sign their correspondence “In Shirley friendship.” The lone rule: that you answer to the name Shirley (even if you spell it Shirlee or Shirlie). 2 THE PROCRASTINATORS’ CLUB OF AMERICA It’s never too late to join this group. The club was formed in 1956, and its members receive a circular called Last Month’s Newsletter. One of the group’s causes was a peace march on Philadelphia’s City Hall in 1966. Its purpose: to end the War of 1812. (It…

IN APRIL 2016, the U.S. Treasury Department announced that seventh president Andrew Jackson will cede his spot on the $20 bill to former slave and abolitionist Harriet Tubman, making her the first African American to appear on the face of U.S. currency. While we wait for this makeover (scheduled for 2020), enjoy these freshly minted facts about the life and death of money. ■ U.S. paper money is not paper at all: It’s 75 percent cotton and 25 percent linen. In Benjamin Franklin’s day, people repaired torn bills with a needle and thread. ■ Today, the Fed prefers to shred. Every month, the Federal Reserve Bank of Philadelphia sends 16 tons of old, cut-up cash to an energy-fromwaste plant in Chester, Pennsylvania, to be burned; the resulting steam produces electricity…