Table of contents for December 2015 - January 2016 in Reader's Digest

OPENERS ARE EVERYTHING. As Stephen King famously remarked, “An opening line should say: Listen. Come in here. You want to know about this.” I’ve long collected the first lines that move me. Here are a few of my favorites from Reader’s Digest over the past year. (High five to anyone who can name the stories they start.) • “When I was your age, I changed your diaper,” said the dark-haired boy to his father. • Just how bad a mother am I? • Long before I ever wanted to be a neuroscientist, I wanted to be a Broadway star. • It’s a good time to be a pessimist. • Before they threw him in chains, he was a gutsy kid with wandering feet. • If you want to probe one…

DAY 1: On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree. Such a thoughtful gift; she knows how much I love fruit. She also knows my building’s pretty strict about pets, so the bird threw me a little. But he is a cute little guy. DAY 2: On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, two turtle doves. Wow, she’s really into the avian theme this year. Um, thank you? I guess I’ll just put them in the kitchen with the partridge and the pear tree, which suddenly seems a lot bigger than it did yesterday. DAYS 3 & 4: On the third and fourth days of Christmas, she gave me three French hens and four calling…

MUSIC IS the supreme solace because it is so much more. It is the spiritual counterpoint to the world’s cacophony, essential as a heartbeat. JOYCE CAROL OATES, creative wri ting professor and wri ter, in her book The Lost Landscape WE NEED TO restore faith in our own ability to effect change. If pictures move one to action—and I believe they can—then we need images and videos not just of suffering, not even just of triumph, but of effort, of people laboring mightily and repeatedly to pull the truck out of the ditch and the perhaps stillliving bodies out of the rubble. JULIE WITTES SCHLACK, essayist, on wbur.org I LEARNED the roots of any relationship [from working with dogs]—honesty, integrity, loyalty. It’s hard to find a human to give you…

IMAGINE YOUR LIFE without a constant sense that you’re running behind. Imagine not wishing for more hours in the day. We haven’t always been this obsessed with time. In fact, before the Industrial Revolution, clocks were largely irrelevant. People had jobs to do, and so they did them in the natural order, at the natural time. This worked for an agricultural society. However, the factories of the Industrial Revolution needed to coordinate hundreds of people to get them working at the same time. Businesses imposed clock time on their workforces. Cast the clock forward 250 years. We don’t need managers to impose time discipline upon us—we do it ourselves because we’re so busy. We schedule and cram our time, squeezing all the efficiency we can out of each day. Time…

EVEN SEASONED fire builders can make mistakes starting a crackling blaze. Follow these steps for a safer, more effective fire. Remember: Hire a pro annually to inspect the chimney for cleanliness and safety before you begin. 1 ASHES Save the ash bed from your last fire: Two inches of ash insulates fireplaces and creates a hotter fire. Keep one inch clear between the ash and metal grate. 2 GRATE Use a metal grate or andirons to raise logs off the ground so air can fuel the fire from below. 3 STARTER LOGS Lay two dried logs (look for gray logs with loose bark) parallel on each end of the grate. If you’re purchasing wood from a store, look for seasoned, ready to burn, or kiln-dried on the label. 4 NEWSPAPER…

My dad loved pennies, especially those with the elegant stalk of wheat curving around each side of the ONE CENT on the back. Those were the pennies he grew up with in Iowa during the Depression, and Lord knows he didn’t have many. When I was a kid, Dad and I would go for long walks together. He was an athletic six-foot-four, and I had to trot to keep up with him. Sometimes we’d spy coins along the way—a penny here, a dime there. Whenever I picked up a penny, he’d ask, “Is it a wheat?” It always thrilled him when we found one of those special coins produced from 1909 to 1958, the year of my birth. On one of these walks, he told me he often dreamed of…

AMERICANS ARE A GIVING PEOPLE. Last year, we donated more than $358 billion to charity. The overwhelming majority of American charities are responsible, efficient, and passionate about their missions. But sometimes, our donations are wasted through poor management or, worse, fraud. When that happens, everybody loses: The needy are deprived of funds that otherwise would have helped them, the government misses out on money that should have been taxed, legitimate charities are bypassed, and donors become hesitant to give. Most of the charities mentioned in this article have not preyed on the kindness of the charitable. But to a one, their actions have raised real questions about how some organizations operate. Here are four practices that need changing. MONEY MUGGED: CANCER FUND OF AMERICA Until recently, you might have received…

1 YouÕre having marital problems. Most credit card companies comb through cardholder data for signs of financial trouble, and we may use that to lower your credit. A Federal Trade Commission suit against CompuCredit, which marketed the Visa Aspire card, accused the company of lowering available credit to customers who used cards for marriage counseling, bars, or pawnshops. 2 You donÕt have the best manners. If you call even one time and get angry or use profanity, we may put a note on your account that you are a Òverbally abusiveÓ caller. Every time you call in after that, the customerservice rep will be on guard. 3 What you did last summerÑand the summer before that. We track your favorite places to visit. We also know your top ATMs and…

1. lavaliere (lah-vuh-'leyr) n.— A: magma outflow. B: pendant on a chain. C: rider with a lance. 2. flan ('flan) n.—A: pizzazz. B: custard dessert. C: mirror reflection. 3. panoply ('pa-nuh-plee) n.— A: impressive array. B: bouquet. C: folded paper art. 4. gambol ('gam-buhl) v.—A: stake money on a horse. B: frolic about. C: sing in rounds. 5. chalice ('cha-luhs) n.—A: goblet. B: ankle bracelet. C: glass lamp. 6. languorous ('lan-guh-ruhs) adj.—A: of the tongue. B: in the tropics. C: lackadaisical or listless. 7. pastiche (pas-'teesh) n.— A: thumbnail sketch. B: fabric softener. C: artistic imitation. 8. opulent ('ahp-u-lehnt) adj.— A: right on time. B: pertaining to vision. C: luxurious. 9. penumbra (peh-'nuhm-bruh) n.—A: something that covers or shrouds. B: drowsiness. C: goosefeather quill. 10. tendril ('ten-druhl) n.— A: wooden…

The Kindness of Strangers I have stopped watching the news because of all the bad this world has to offer, but this article made me realize there are still a lot of good people out there. I will keep this and read it from time to time as a reminder. LESA TRENT, Gray, Tennessee Can you make this feature a permanent addition? I think we could all use a little more inspiration in this day and age. Thank you, RD! MICHELLE FOSTER, Nashport, Ohio I hate your magazine. Your stories about everyday heroes and random acts of kindness always make my eyes leak. Keep up the good work— it’s much better than listening to the news. G. H., via e-mail Why I Study Memory I am sitting here with tears staining my face.…

HER NAME was perfect. She came to them in the dead of night, in the cold. She was more than half dead, starved down to bones, her hair completely eaten away by mange. She had been run off from more than one yard when she finally crept into an empty doghouse in the trees beyond my mother’s yard. At least she was out of the wind. They found her, my mother and brother, in the daylight of the next day. They could not even tell, at first, she was a dog. “And it broke my heart,” my mother said. They did not call the vet because she knew what the vet would do. The dog was too far gone to save; any fool could see that. My mama lives in…

WASHINGTON, DC, dentist Eddy Gamson had always dreamed of visiting the Alhambra palace in Granada, Spain. When he signed up to attend a professional conference in Portugal in September 2013, he decided to head overseas early so he could fly to Spain for a few days. He called British Airways (BA) directly to book the flights for him and his partner, Lowell Canaday, cashing in more than 376,000 frequent-flier points for first-class seats. Gamson says he specifically discussed flying to Spain and outlined their itinerary using airport codes. The ticket agent suggested the pair fly from Dulles to London’s Heathrow and then to Gatwick because, the agent said, there was a direct flight to Granada from that airport. On September 8, Gamson and Canaday flew across the Atlantic and boarded…

SEND BOOKS ON THE CHEAP Gifting a good read? Mail educational items such as books and DVDs through the USPS Media Mail, starting at $2.72— typically the cheapest shipping option. GET A MONTH OF SERVICE UP FRONT Websites like shop runner.com and amazon.com/prime offer memberships with free two-day shipping. Sign up for a 30-day trial, then decide if you want to keep the membership after the holidays. “INSURE” EXPENSIVE GIFTS To ship costly goods through FedEx, consider paying the 90-cent charge (per $100 of value) to declare their worth. FedEx doesn’t offer insurance but will pay the declared amount if an item is lost or damaged. UPS covers packages valued up to $100 and has similar pricing to declare the value of more-expensive goods. SHOP THE DOLLAR STORE Need shipping…

GOOD NEWS, FOLKS: A New England Journal of Medicine study found that average weight gain over the holidays is less than a pound. Still, when you’re trying to lose, every ounce matters. With the right choices, you can eat your favorite party foods and still shed weight. Follow my guide (right) to the best and worst picks for alcohol, dip, and chips to have your fill and save calories. Another tip? After one helping, shift your focus from the food to reconnecting with friends and family. You’ll find that’s the best holiday treat. On the Stop & Drop Diet, you stop eating the unhealthy versions of the foods you love so you can drop up to five pounds in five days. Learn more about the book’s meal plans and 21-day…

When I was a boy of nine in the little town of Doylestown, Pennsylvania, I used to mow the lawn of Mrs. Long, an elderly lady who lived across from the Presbyterian Church. She paid me very little for the chore, for she had not much money. But she did promise me, “When Christmas comes, I shall have a present for you.” I spent much time wondering what it would be. The boys I played with had baseball gloves and bicycles and ice skates, and I was so eager to acquire any one of these that I convinced myself that my benefactor intended choosing from among them. “It would hardly be a baseball glove,” I reasoned with myself. “A woman like Mrs. Long wouldn’t know much about baseball.” Since she…

As a five-year-old, I didn’t know how poor we were. We had just moved to Manhattan and knew no one in that city. My father would not be home that Christmas Eve; he was in the Army serving overseas. My mother, in her 20s, and I worked all afternoon making tree decorations. The kitchen table was crowded with stars, globes, and animals made of shiny paper. There was at least a dozen feet of a chain made of colored paper loops. We were going to get the Christmas tree later in the evening, when the prices for them usually dropped. Just after sunset, we bundled up against the chilly Manhattan night and walked four blocks to a parking lot where they sold Christmas trees. “How much is your cheapest tree?”…

LUST: When their pet tortoise, Boris, escaped through a fence, the frantic owners searched YouTube for tortoise pornography. The mating noise is loud and startling, reports the Week UK. It’s also evidently quite seductive, since Boris lumbered home soon after hearing the videos play. Source: theweek.co.uk GREED: A North Carolina college student was arrested for using counterfeit money. What gave her away was the signature on the bill. It’s supposed to be the name of the secretary of the Treasury. Instead, it was signed “Moe Money.” Source: myfox8.com ANGER: A Miami Beach thief snatched a necklace from a tourist and took off. He was arrested when he returned to berate the victim over his “fake” jewelry. Source: nbcmiami.com SLOTH: Don’t be that lazy person who never rereads her texts. When…

1. Be proactive. Identify the causes you care most about, then do research to find the best charities carrying out that type of work. This keeps you on the offensive rather than in a defensive “point of sale” posture in the face of heart-tugging pitches. 2. Give a few large gifts instead of many small ones. Don’t be guilt-tripped into giving to every worthy cause. Developing your own “portfolio” of charities gives you more sway within the organizations and makes you more inclined to give carefully. 3. Never give over the phone in cold-call situations. Instead, if you’re interested, keep your donations out of the hands of telemarketers by donating via the group’s website or mailing a check. 4. Perform due diligence. Look into the group’s finances, and once you…

A FEW MONTHS BEFORE SHE DIED, my grandmother made a decision. Bobby, as her friends called her, was a farmer’s wife who not only survived World War II but also found in it justification for her natural hoarding talent. So she kept old envelopes and bits of cardboard cereal boxes for note taking and lists. She kept frayed blankets and musty blouses in case she needed material to mend. She was also a meticulous chronicler. She kept albums of photographs of her family members. She kept the love letters my late grandfather sent her while he traveled the world with the Merchant Navy. Yet in the months leading up to her death, the emphasis shifted from hoarding to sharing. Every time I visited, my car would fill with stuff: unopened…

Last Tuesday, 2,200 years after Hannibal defeated the Romans at the Battle of Canae, the last holdouts finally turned in their spears and returned home. A recent Navy decree states that all troublemakers will be kicked off ships and forced to walk to their battle. World War I saw medical advances on the front lines when Germany hired an eye, ear, nose, and throat specialist, as well as a proctologist. DURING ORIENTATION at Fort Sill, in Oklahoma, our first sergeant stated that if anyone lost his locker key to see him, as he kept a master key in his office. Sure enough, a few weeks later, I lost my key. I walked into the orderly’s room and asked Sarge if I could borrow his master key. “Why, certainly, young man,”…

“We reconnect people with their dignity” Doniece Sandoval AN OLD BLUE BUS pulls up to a wellness center in downtown San Francisco, and a small crowd forms. Young and old, men and women are waiting to board for their turn to bathe. This city bus has been modified as a sanitation station with two private bathrooms, each including a shower, toilet, sink, and changing area. The brainchild of Doniece Sandoval, a former public relations executive, Lava Mae (a play on the Spanish for “wash me”) provides up to 500 showers a week for the thousands of homeless people who sleep on the streets in this city. “We reconnect people with their dignity,” says Doniece. Two years ago, Doniece overheard a homeless woman on a San Francisco sidewalk say that she’d…

PERFECT DAY We went looking for a wedding dress on Sunday. Laughing, we made for the door of a bridal shop. This would surely be the first of many stores before we found the perfect gown. Having witnessed other brides and their mothers, we vowed to be happy in these moments. Unexpectedly, my mind went back to the day we brought her home some 27 years ago. I said a silent thank-you to the young mother who, by letting her go, allowed her to be mine at this precious time. Two hours later, there she stood, in the dress of her dreams. My beautiful girl. MARYBOB STRAUB, Smyrna, Georgia SHATTERED My elderly sister decided for the first time to stay up until midnight on New Year’s Eve in New York…

ARE YOUR salutations making you sick? We wondered after a JAMA editorial called out handshakes as a major germ spreader. Rob Danoff, DO, a family physician in Philadelphia, ranks the healthiness of your hellos. WORST: Handshake Your palm = a germ hot spot. Extended contact is a no-go in cold-and-flu season. But if you must, wash up afterward ASAP. BAD: High Five It’s a hit-and-run handshake: same germy contact point but only about half the bacteria transfer because of the speed. OK: Cheek Kiss Generally safe if neither greeter is coughing or sneezing. (Stand under the mistletoe at your own risk.) GOOD: Hug Turn your head away and go gentle—hugs that force breath out of the lungs lead to airborne pathogens. BETTER: Fist Bump Bug transfer is far lower than…

It was late when I got off duty. I didn’t even stop at the nurses’ barracks to change my uniform, but went directly out into the woods that surrounded the neuropsychiatric wing of the big Army hospital. The leaves under my feet were thick and dry, and as I waded through them I was aware of the tangy smell of autumn. The keys to Ward 8, worn on a long rope around my waist, jingled as I walked. Anthony D. Nardo* was a young GI, a victim of combat fatigue. Diagnosis: agitated depression, manic-depressive type. I was a cadet nurse, sound of mind, on loan from a civilian hospital. And yet, that very afternoon, standing together on the sun porch of Ward 8, Tony and I had shared an incredible…

Clif Bars answer the question “What if it wasn’t frowned upon to eat an entire sleeve of mushed-up oatmeal cookies before noon?” @JULIEKLAUSNER Triscuit is the perfect combination of cracker and doormat. @1CARPARADE (JASON GELLES) I hate when I try to order a salad and my mouth says, “I’ll have a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese.” JIM GAFFIGAN If you think eggplant is good, you should try any other food; it’s much better. @JAKEANDAMIR (AMIR BLUMENFELD) The closest I’ve been to a diet this year is erasing food searches from my browser history. @PAULYPELIGROSO Sick of having to go to two different huts to buy pizza and sunglasses. @LEEMANISH…

WHEN THE 2011 EARTHQUAKE and tsunami struck Tohoku, Japan, Chris Goldfinger was 200 miles away, in the city of Kashiwa, at an international meeting on seismology. As the shaking started, everyone in the room began to laugh. Earthquakes are common in Japan—that one was the third of the week—and the participants were, after all, at a seismology conference. Then everyone in the room checked the time. SEISMOLOGISTS know that how long an earthquake lasts is a decent proxy for its magnitude. The 1989 earthquake in Loma Prieta, California, which killed 63 people and caused six billion dollars’ worth of damage, lasted about 15 seconds and had a magnitude of 6.9. A 30-second earthquake generally has a magnitude in the mid-sevens. A minute-long quake is in the high sevens, a two-minute…

1 WHY DO OUR FINGERS AND TOES PRUNE UP WHEN WE SWIM? To better handle wet objects. Researchers at Newcastle University found that subjects with pruney fingers could transfer wet marbles between two containers significantly quicker than subjects without. On the other hand, pruney fingers added no advantage to transferring dry marbles. 2 WHY DO WE GET PHANTOM PHONE VIBRATIONS? Because we’re expecting a call. In a study at an academic medical center in Massachusetts, 68 percent of mobile phone users reported feeling vibrations from time to time even though their phones weren’t actually vibrating (or, in some cases, with them at all). These ghostly vibrations are merely hallucinations based on prior experience, in which the same areas of the brain’s sensory centers are activated as when we feel a…

YOU HAVE TO BE GOING TO A PRETTY AWFUL PLACE IF GETTING THERE IS HALF THE FUN. MISS PIGGY, ham It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. TOM ROBBINS, novelist GOD GAVE US MEMORY SO THAT WE MIGHT HAVE ROSES IN DECEMBER. J. M. BARRIE, author I see life as like being attacked by a bear. You can run, you can pretend to be dead, or you can make yourself bigger. AMY POEHLER, comedian A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him. HUNTER S. THOMPSON, journalist Would you believe in what you believe in if you were the only one who believed it? KANYE WEST, musician If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do…