Table of contents for August 2013 in Reader's Digest

For as much as I love nature, it’s remarkable that I grew up in a family that didn’t spend a lot of time there. The Ludlows weren’t campers, hikers, or beachgoers. That’s not to say we didn’t go outdoors. We just didn’t stay there long. My dad’s favorite way to relax was to sit on the patio with a glass of iced tea. He’d preside over his freshly mowed lawn, enjoy the birds, and watch for the fox. But when the sun went down, he went inside. Lots of kids grow up gazing at the stars, knowing the constellations. Me? I never noticed the stars. In my early childhood, the darkening shadow of evening was the signal that it was time to hightail it home from the park on my…

A man walks into a seafood store carrying a trout under his arm. “Do you make fish cakes?” he asked. “Yes, we do,” replied the fishmonger. “Great,” said the man. “It’s his birthday.” I bet when the first guy wore glasses, everybody was like, “Oh, ladi-da, excuse me, Mr. I Need Two Monocles.” @robfee (from Twitter) Fred Loves Wilma! After 28,000-year-old cave paintings were discovered in Australia, the Week invited its readers to write some prehistoric graffiti for them. • "The beginning is near!" • "Only 9,492,798 shopping days until Christmas!" • "When spear outlawed, only outlaw have spear!" • "Betty White rocks!" • "Marked with my iChisel4." Even though I’m from Boston, I feel right at home in the South. You see, Boston is also full of people with…

• FROM Psychology Today You’re about to begin a job interview, and as you’re being introduced to your potential supervisor, her name flies completely out of your mind. Or an old classmate greets you enthusiastically on the street, but you can’t place him until it’s too late. Sound familiar? Recent studies shed light on why such memory blips happen—and how to avoid them. To better retain names and faces, try the following techniques: 1 FOCUS ON THE EYES Apart from a few wrinkles around the edges, people’s eyes don’t change that much as they age. If years pass between meetings, you’ll be less thrown off by shifts in hair, clothing, body shape, and height if you check the eyes. 2 ADD MEANING Invent strong—even oddball—connections between a person’s name and…

1 Bake with avocados instead of butter Over 75 percent of the fat in the versatile “alligator pear” is the healthful kind, and it’ll add nearly 20 vitamins, minerals, and phytonutrients to cookie, cake, and muffin recipes. Though the ratio may vary slightly by recipe, swap one cup of mashed avocado for one cup of butter. 2 Toss pink grapefruit segments into smoothies Mixing this refreshing fruit in a blender breaks down its cell walls, which makes cancer-fighting lycopene more available for your body to absorb. Toss in some spinach too; the vitamin C from the grapefruit (or any citrus fruit) will help you absorb the iron in dark, leafy greens. 3 Pick the yellowest ears of corn You’ll reap seven percent of your daily requirement of vitamin A from…

This manmade abode was originally a geologist’s office and residence. Cozy Up in a Cave KOKOPELLI’S CAVE BED & BREAKFAST, Farmington, New Mexico. The idea may seem very Stone Age, but this lone unit, which was carved into a 65-million-year-old sandstone rock, is filled with modern amenities. The Travel Channel says these “cave comforts” include a cozy bedroom, large fire circle, and rainfall shower. Plus, the views of the La Plata River and nearby mountains are breathtaking. $260/night; bbonline.com Sleep Below the Surface JULES’ UNDERSEA LODGE, Key Largo, Florida. This gem, which is named after 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea author Jules Verne, is the world’s only underwater hotel. Lonely Planet says that this former marine research station has been transformed into a “delightfully cheesy” lodge. Guests must make the…

• FROM joeposnanski.blogspot.com “Elizabeth actively, passionately does not like sports,” writes Posnanski. When the swim season began, my 11-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, and I cut a deal. She would go to practice three times a week and try really hard and have a lot of fun, and I wouldn’t make her compete in the swim meets. Elizabeth does not like swim meets. She gets horribly nervous but not because she wants to win. She doesn’t want to win. She doesn’t expect to win. She doesn’t care if she wins. Her nerves stem from the possibility that she will do something horribly wrong and let everyone down. The day of a meet, she would be scared all day. She would be scared as the meet began and scared throughout the meet. Afterward,…

No Pregnant Pausing Here Even though Deal or No Deal is a game of sheer luck, audiences loved watching exuberant—and then super-pregnant—Jessica Robinson become the show’s first $1 million winner, in 2008. As the game progressed, Robinson ignored the banker’s settlement offers and opened suitcase after suitcase, ultimately winning the jackpot. Her catchphrase: “I got Texas guts, y’all!” The Price Is ... Precise! On September 22, 2008, Las Vegas weatherman Terry Kniess entered The Price Is Right hall of fame when he became the first contestant in the show’s 38-year daytime history to name the exact price of his Showcase: $23,743. Jeopardy! Genius Everybody loves a good comeback, which is why we adore Leonard Cooper. After sitting in last place for most of a 2013 Teen Jeopardy!, Cooper turned it…

Why Teachers Get the Summer Off You’d need a vacation, too, if you had to grade these students’ homework and test answers. • Name two Shakespeare plays: “Romeo and Juliet.” • “Sir Walter Raleigh circumcised the world with a big clipper.” • Explain why the population increased so much in 19th-century Britain: “It was a very sexy time.” • “The North Pole is so cold that the people who live there have to live somewhere else.” • Name the largest bone in your body: “Franklin Witherston III.” “The jungles of Africa are very dangerous. There must be hundreds of people who have been mauled to death by a tiger or wino.” From F for Effort, by Richard Benson (Chronicle Books) Yesterday, a guy came up to me at work and…

• FROM THE BOOK The End of Night True darkness is rare in our lit-up world. But our well-being depends on the still-and the thrill-of the night. “We’re going to be in a big black hole on the map,” says Dan Duriscoe, slowing his red Toyota Tundra so we can gaze down into Death Valley National Park. “There’s nothing between us and that mountain, and then there’s nothing for another 100 miles.” Dan speaks in a low, gravelly voice and has encyclopedic knowledge of the desert west. He’s full of dirt roads leading off into deserted valleys and turnoffs no one else knows. As a founding member of the National Park Service’s Night Sky Team, Dan has traveled all over the United States documenting levels of darkness. Death Valley holds…

Clifford Rosen, MD, knows vitamin D: He was part of an Institute of Medicine committee that recently set recommendations for the “sunshine vitamin.” So he’s astounded when he learns that friends are popping as much as 5,000 IU of the vitamin each day—far higher than the 4,000 IU established as the safe upper limit. “Probably 80 percent of the people I know take vitamin D,” says Dr. Rosen, who directs the Center for Clinical and Translational Research at the Maine Medical Center Research Institute in Scarborough, Maine. “When I ask them why, they say, ‘It’s not harmful.’ But that’s not necessarily true.” In fact, the latest research in vitamin science suggests that many previously lauded supplements may be riskier than once thought. And dangers may be greater for those who…

Warm Up Play Zookeeper TIP: Use a pencil Draw lines to divide the grid into various-size squares that will “cage” one animal per square. Squares should not overlap or be empty. Easy Does It Spot the Difference Which guitar does not belong? Go one step at a time GREEDY LETTER Which is the only letter in the alphabet that has three syllables instead of just one? COIN COUNTING Jones gives Smith as many coins as Smith has. Smith then gives Jones as many coins as Jones has remaining. Now Jones has 36 coins, and Smith has 42 coins. How many coins did each of them have to begin with? LONELY WORDS The names of three colors in the English language do not rhyme with any other words. What are they?…

*Learn something new every day! Get the full stories at rd.com/dailydigest. RECENT BITS FROM RD.COM 1 IS YOUR PASSWORD WEAK? Amazingly, password was still the top log-in in 2012. Outwit hackers! Make every account password unique, choose unGoogleable security answers, use the space bar when you can, and always test log-ins on passwordmeter.com. 2 CLASSES YOU TOOK BUT YOUR KIDS WON’T Texting has made typing and cursive obsolete, and traditional home ec and industrial arts are rarely offered in schools today. As for Latin? It veni and vidi but didn’t vici. 3 GROSS: KITCHEN ITEMS YOU FORGET TO CLEAN New research shows that your knife block, can opener, and fridge drawers can harbor germs that cause food-borne illnesses. Remember to wash them regularly with hot, soapy water. 4 FAST FOOD…

Travel is like a good challenging book: It demands presentness—the ability to live completely in the moment. Robert D. Kaplan Jealousy is all the fun you think they had. Erica Jong People often say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing you are the beholder. Salma Hayek Just because you’re nervous doesn’t mean you have to look nervous. Nobody can look inside you. Project what you want to project. Valerie Jarrett Never ignore a gut feeling, but never believe that it’s enough. Robert Heller I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou…

Whom Do We Trust? Some interesting observations about “The Most Trusted People in America”: The first four are actors. No members of Congress in the top 100. No governors. Only two presidents. All nine Supreme Court justices. No basketball players or baseball players, but four football players. Add up the actors (12), directors (5), TV personalities (28), and athletes (6), and that’s 51 people, which means that more than half of those on the list put on a show for the public. Is there a message there for our drab politicians? Stephen Kaiser, Cambridge, Massachusetts While you did a good job with the trust poll, a piece like this exposes a growing problem in America: idolizing entertainers and looking to them for informed leadership—something they are usually not qualified to…

It’s 7 a.m., and from the plush bed of a beautiful resort, I just rousted the Body and her husband with a loud snort. It’s a rude awakening for such an idyllic setting, but it’s as dry as dust in here, and the hotel room is freezing. The combination sucks the moisture out of the air and clogs me up. If only she’d get me a humidifier or some saline spray, I’d behave better. The Best Part of My Day Today, we’re on vacation, a romantic getaway for the Body and her hubby. Or that’s the goal, which is why she wants to quit the mouth-breathing. The Body tosses back the covers and heads for the most blissful spot on earth: the shower. Ah, sweet relief! There’s nothing better than…

A Gadget That Perfects Your Posture The LUMOback may prevent or reduce back pain by teaching you the proper way to sit and stand. It uses a sensor attached to a belt that fits around your lower back. After you calibrate the device to your body geometry, it determines how your spine and pelvis should align while you sit and stand. If you slouch, gentle vibrations remind you to straighten up. It also connects wirelessly to an iPhone or iPad app, which tracks how much time you spend sitting, standing, walking, and lying down. LUMOback costs about $150 and is available now. Source: LUMO BodyTech, Palo Alto, California, lumoback.com Walking Targets a Sore Core Walking may ease chronic low-back pain just as well as physical therapy, new research shows. During…

Mike Isabella, a Top Chef All-Stars runner-up and restaurant owner, explains how a tiny cake tester has changed his life: “You can use it when cooking anything. Insert it into the middle of meat or fish for a few seconds, and remove it. Then put it underneath your bottom lip or on your wrist. If it’s cold, you know your fish or meat isn’t done, and if it’s warm, the food is cooked through [clean after each use]. Look around any fine dining establishment, and you’ll see chefs running around with little plastic testers poking out of their pockets. Secret’s out!”…

Before you hit the road this summer, brush up on these crazy abbreviations seen on specialty plates. Can you guess the common words that include these sequences? Emily Cox & Henry Rathvon 1. RTHQ 2. KULE 3. NCHK 4. DEZV 5. MBBE 6. ELUJ 7. CKGA 8. HTEE 9. UOIS 10. TCHD Answers: 1. Earthquake 2. Ukulele 3. Munchkin 4. Rendezvous 5. Dumbbell 6. Hallelujah 7. Backgammon 8. Eighteen 9. Turquoise 10. Watchdog SPLURGE: RAY-BAN AVIATOR $150 For an extra $138, you get: • Better clarity: Crystal lenses are clearer, resist scratching • Flattering fit: Crafted by design experts to suit a variety of face shapes • UV400 protection • One-year warranty SAVE: FRED FLARE GOLD BLAKE AVIATORS For the basic price ($12), you get: • Metal frames • Wide…

Yahtzee Twice as Fast! WORLD SERIES OF YAHTZEE What’s the same: Dice and classic number combinations What’s different: In this frenetic edition, players roll the dice at the same time, attempting to match die combinations shown on “combo cards.” After a winning roll, players race to press an electronic timer on the board. Digital Monopoly! MONOPOLY ZAPPED What’s the same: Board, tokens, cards for properties like Boardwalk and Park Place, and house and hotel pieces What’s different: An iPad, iPhone, or iPod app serves as banker (download the app and place the device in the center of the game board). Digital banking cards replace paper money; Chance and Community Chest cards are also digital. Jenga with a Timer! JENGA BOOM What’s the same: Wooden blocks and stacking sleeve What’s different:…

Halo Outsold Every Movie in History The people have spoken. Microsoft’s space-themed shooter game Halo 4 earned $220 million in sales on its first day of release, beating out the opening-day numbers of any Hollywood blockbuster ever. Hollywood Directors Can’t Resist It’s not that Paul Haggis, writer of boxing drama Million Dollar Baby, cocreator of Walker, Texas Ranger, and director of 2006 best-picture Oscar winner Crash, couldn’t get any work. But his love of gaming led him to write the script for first-person shooter video game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. Actors Are Itching for Roles Among the silver screen stars lured by games: Mark Hamill, who lent his voice to the Joker in Batman: Arkham City, and Gary Oldman, who narrated Call of Duty: Black Ops. And does…

Good Sport Test your gaming vocabulary with this playful quiz. There’s no harm, no foul, and no penalty for flipping to the next page for the answers. 1. aficionado (uh-fishee-uh-’nah-doh) n.—A: referee. B: expert. C: buff. 2. wheelhouse (’weel-howse) n.—A: batter’s ideal swinging range. B: overhand pitch. C: cycling stadium. 3. laugher (’laff-er) n.—A: close game. B: lopsided win. C: joker in a deck. 4. gambit (’gam-bit) n.—A: opening maneuver. B: single inning. C: intense rival. 5. arbitrate (’ahr-bitrayt) v.—A: protest a call. B: serve as umpire. C: settle for a tie. 6. chaff (’chaf) v.—A: tease. B: discard. C: advance a pawn. 7. thimblerig (’thim-buhl-rig) n.—A: party platter. B: con game. C: handspring. 8. see (’see) v.—A: match, as a poker bet. B: leap frog over. C: strike and…

YOUR HUSBAND PLANTS HIMSELF ON THE COUCH ALL WEEKEND JOKE THAT HARMS Crack wise: “Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.” JOKE THAT HEALS This gag tells him you’re chill with his chilling: “In heaven, Mother Teresa is dining with God, who has made a couple of tuna fish sandwiches. While they’re eating, she looks down into hell and sees the denizens eating steak, lobster, and crème brûlée. ‘Not that I’m complaining,’ she says, ‘but why are they eating lavishly, and we’re having tuna sandwiches?’ ‘Well,’ says God, ‘with just the two of us up here, I figure, why cook?’ ” AT A PARTY, SOMEONE PULLS OUT HIS…

• FROM cantonrep.com Still inside his mom’s womb, Austin Gerstenslager began a journey to his birth and certain death. It was shortly before noon on August 18, 2012, a Saturday. A half-dozen nurses and assistants wheeled the mother and her unborn baby out of Room 407 in the birth center of Aultman Hospital in Canton, Ohio. The bed glided across glossy tiled floors, en route to an emergency cesarean section. Tears slid down Keri Gerstenslager’s cheeks. It was 14 weeks before her due date. Even worse, her water had broken six weeks earlier and had slowed the fetus’s development. Doctors and nurses converged on Austin after his birth. They threw everything that technology and medicine could offer at the tiny baby. Nothing seemed to help. Everyone concluded that his lungs…

I “Like” You, Mom On Facebook, my friends are a mix of real-life pals, former classmates, professional colleagues, extended-family members, and ... my mom. Mom is the first to like and comment on everything I post, which is irritating. I tried talking to her about it, but her feelings quickly got hurt, so I backed off. I know I can’t block her, but now I don’t want to post anything. How do I handle this? Embarrassed Eve Dear Embarrassed, This is about Facebook, not your mom. Yeah, she’s very visible, but the often-shrugged-off truth about social media is that nothing is private. It’s easy to forget this, so in a way, you’re lucky that your mom is reminding you. Everything you post—comments, likes, photos—is freely available to future friends, employers,…

My friend forgot his laptop on the floor of my room. My grandma thought it was a scale. Conclusion: My grandma weighs $950. From awesomephilia.com CSI: Stupidville Ripped from the nation’s police blotters: • “A resident worried that a noisy hawk in a tree was in distress. When authorities arrived, the hawk was quiet and enjoying dinner.” • “Caller reports hitting an intruder in the head with an ax. Notes that intruder was ‘in the mirror.’ ” • “A woman found a raccoon trespassing in her garage on Garrison Road … no arrest was made.” From criggo.com Needing to look up a phone number at a friend’s house, my teenage daughter asked for a phone book. She might as well have asked for a papyrus scroll. “A phone book?” asked…

The Artist Luka Tavcar, 12, has muscular dystrophy and is totally dependent on his wheelchair. Nevertheless, late last year, he hatched an inspired plan: to be photographed walking around and getting into mischief. He approached Matej Peljhan, an amateur photographer and a psychologist at CIRIUS rehabilitation center near Ljubljana, Slovenia, where Luka is a patient. At first, Peljhan was perplexed. How could he depict a paralyzed boy in motion? “Luka wanted to see himself playing and having fun,” he says. Then Peljhan had a brainstorm: Luka could lie down on a piece of fabric and, with the help of a physiotherapist, Peljhan would pose the boy as if he were jumping, coasting downhill on a skateboard, climbing stairs, and playing basketball. Then Peljhan would shoot these images from above. The…

Their methodologies may be a little unorthodox: Some call them genius; others file them under wacky. But scientists swear these actual studies are going to make life better for mankind. How far would you go to help? Would you: STICK YOUR FOOT IN A BOX WITH A TARANTULA? As a kinda-mean, kinda-hilarious way to observe the brain’s fear networks, British researchers had 20 volunteers lie in MRI machines, place their feet in a box with several compartments, and watch a screen that showed a tremendous tarantula crawl among the sections. Scientists watched as different parts of each volunteer’s brain lit up, depending on whether the spider moved toward or away from his or her feet. The kicker: There was no spider; volunteers watched a pretaped video. The takeaway: Learning how…

Ice Cream Snaps Sandwich a heaping teaspoon of your favorite ice cream between two pretzels or your favorite crackers. Roll edges in sprinkles. Sweet-wich Make a sammie with two thin cinnamon-raisin or pistachioalmond cookies. Cover one cookie with peanut butter and another with hazelnut spread. Place a row of sliced bananas between cookies for a sweet treat. For fun, festive drinks that go with any finger foods, visit rd.com/august. Savoroons Split open some colorful macaroons, and fill them with store-bought olive tapenade. They will disappear in no time, trust us. S’moresels Stack a marshmallow and a piece of chocolate bar on a potato chip, top with another chip, and microwave for 10 to 20 seconds.…

In 2012, the TSA discovered 1,543 firearms during screenings. 1 I don’t think it makes sense to confiscate your oversize tube of toothpaste either. But everything I do is on camera, so even if I disagree with a Transportation Security Administration (TSA) rule, I must enforce it. 2 Want to avoid a pat-down after going through the full-body scanner? Don’t wear shirts or pants with extraneous pockets, buttons, or zippers, or anything with sequined bling on it. These items tend to appear suspicious on the scanner, which is programmed to flag anything out of the ordinary. 3 Please find another way to smuggle your lizards, snakes, and other illegal pets across a border. I once opened a suitcase to find a container of baby vipers hidden in a cosmetics bag.…

SPLURGE: OAKLEY POLARIZED RADARLOCK PATH SUNGLASSES $300 For an extra $230, you get: • Toughest lenses: Virtually indestructible to shield eyes from fast-moving or heavy objects • Better visibility: Polarized lenses further improve visibility by reducing glare • Specifically sport: Two sets of lenses allow adjustment for changing conditions; nose pads keep glasses in place • One-year warranty SAVE: BOLLÉ ANACONDA For the basic price ($70), you get: • Lenses that are shatter-resistant • UV400 protection • Wrap frame design offers extra UV protection and less slippage than regular sunglasses • Two-year warranty…

50 billion The number of apps downloaded on iTunes as of May 2013 IF YOU LIKE: Sudoku YOU’LL LOVE: Nuclien Easy to learn, hard to master, this brain-twisting puzzler presents a series of numbers on-screen. If the numbers are surrounded by squares, tap them in ascending order; if circles surround them, tap them in descending order. It seems simple until the game throws both at you simultaneously with a brutal countdown timer. nuclien.com, a game for iOS and Android IF YOU LIKE: YouTube & Instagram YOU’LL LOVE: viddy.com Take a short video on your smartphone, apply a cool visual effect, and share it immediately without having to upload it to a video service. IF YOU LIKE: Cats YOU’LL LOVE: cat-bounce.com Head to this site and little kitties will start bouncing…

• FROM medium.com Former U.S. President George W. Bush is a man of many distinctive qualities. But it came as a surprise that he could fairly claim a descriptor no one would have guessed: painter. When two of his paintings—both partially nude selfportraits—were released online, they garnered some attention. In one painting, 43 is in the shower, viewed from behind, staring into a shaving mirror. In the other, we see through his own gaze his lower legs and feet submerged in bath water. These unlikely works raised questions: Is he an outsider artist? Why is the former president painting himself? Well, he doesn’t have to be an artist. We paint because it’s therapeutic. We paint because it gives us new perspectives on the world around us. We paint because the…

1 THEY OUTDO OUTER SPACE The number of permutations within a deck of cards is mind-bogglingly large: 8 times 1067 (or an 8 with 67 zeroes after it). That means there are more card combinations than stars in the Milky Way, which amount to as many as 400 billion. 2 THEY HELPED POWs ESCAPE During World War II, the Nazis did something un-Nazi-like: They let Allied prisoners of war play board games. The British government was even allowed to send its incarcerated soldiers a game or two. One of the games it sent? Monopoly. Inside the box? Tools for escape. Specifically, the British government, with the cooperation of the game’s publisher, hid real bank notes among the Monopoly money. Compasses, metal files, and a folded silk map—which was less likely…

Last February, as Joseph “Beef ” Caferro was walking into a Seattle pub, he was accosted by an aggressive panhandler. Caferro, who is prone to sporting gold chains and wearing a yellow polyester leisure suit, did not take kindly to this. When the guy refused to back down, words were exchanged. The guy reached out to grab Caferro. Caferro recoiled. The panhandler yelled, “You’re It!” “Oh, @#$%!” Caferro said, laughing. The guy was Chris Ammann, a friend in disguise. Caferro shouldn’t have been so surprised. The next day, he used a similar tactic and went undercover as a woman to tag his friend Rick Bruya. This, then, is the true story of how deceit, treachery, paranoia, and espionage have kept a group of now middle-aged friends together for more than…

• FROM THE BOOK The Longest Road IN LEAVES OF GRASS, Walt Whitman celebrates the races and nationalities of America, making “a thousand diverse contributions” to the nation’s one identity, its “ever-united lands.” Comparing Americans to the leaves on a many-branched tree, he invites the readers of his poem to gather for themselves “bouquets of the incomparable feuillage of These States.”* Looking back on it, I think that’s what I was doing when I recently made the longest road trip of my life: accepting Whitman’s invitation, gathering bouquets. Towing a leased, antique Airstream trailer behind a pickup truck, I traveled with my wife, Leslie, and our two English setters, Sage and Sky, from the southernmost point in the continental United States, Key West, Florida, to the northernmost reachable by road,…

Do I have to excuse myself from the table to take a cell phone call or send a text message? Aren’t we beyond all that now? No, we are not beyond all that. Turn off your phone. Be courteous, and pay attention to your dining companions. In which situations am I required to make a phone call versus send a text message? A text is for information—time, date, news. It’s for the stuff you can keep short and sweet. A phone call is for analysis, discussion, opinion, and, if you must, gossip. I’m always on Facebook, so I just send messages to friends through the site. But when should I log off and send an e-mail? When you’re serious about anything. Think of it as chatting with someone on a…

Our drill instructor was at the end of his rope: An airman’s ineptitude was driving him crazy. Getting in the airman’s face, he demanded, “Whoever told you to join the Air Force?!” Snapping to attention, the airman proclaimed, “The Navy recruiter, Sir.” James Hetlinger, Webb City, Missouri When our ship stopped in the Atlantic Ocean for a “swim call,” the chief boatswain noticed how nervous I was. “Don’t worry,” he assured me. “You are never more than three miles from land.” Then he added, “Straight down.” Robert McPaul, Millsboro, Delaware A Classic We Love While my husband was stationed overseas, our four-year-old daughter decided that she needed a baby brother. “Good idea,” I told her. “But don’t you think we should wait till your father gets home?” She had a…