Table of contents for 6/5/2019 in Move!

As a mother [you need] to protect your child, you should never force things if he [the father] doesn’t want to maintain, leave him as he is. Work hard to raise your child. It’s better than losing them because of a few bucks per month. Lynette Thavhana Parents need to maintain their children, period! There’s no other solution to that. Keneuoe Siwela I think men should start using protection if they are afraid of paying maintenance because if a man fathered a child, it’s his responsibility to care of that child. Promise Mhlanga I’ve never forced anyone to help me raise my kids, I do it alone. Their mother can buy them whatever she wants, whenever she wants. Bafana Maseko Sometimes, I don’t blame the fathers. Baby mamas are the…

'WE FEED OFF EACH OTHER – OUR CHEMISTRY IS EFFORTLESS' THEY have been known to brighten even the darkest day with their TV antics. Now stars Thembsie Matu (55) and Nomsa Buthelezi (37) have come together in a new show that’s guaranteed to have South Africans in stitches. They’ll be presenting e.tv’s new show, Fragrance Your Life, in which they’ll be helping people get rid of funky smells in their homes and lives. “If there’s a room in a house that has a funny smell or a smell of a boyfriend that left you, we can get rid of it,” Thembsie tells Move!. They’ve had to work hard to get to where they are. It took numerous rejections, sweat and tears but they now feel like they’ve arrived. And they…

HER son wanted to study medicine at the University of Cape Town one day, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to afford the fees. So she did the only thing she could think of to secure her son’s future – she applied for future maintenance from his estranged father. Little did she know that by so doing, she was digging her son’s grave. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY Kearabetswe Leteane was shot and killed on 17 April 2017 in the back room of his grandparents’ house in Thaba Nchu in the Free State. His father, Tebogo Molatole, a retired teacher, was sentenced to life in prison for orchestrating the murder. He hired a hit man to kill his son to avoid paying his maintenance. According to the boy's heartbroken mother, Jane Leteane…

BEING an actress in a hit TV show means you’re often recognised wherever you go. It goes with the territory and Nandi Mbatha knows that – but she battles with it. The fresh-faced 22-year-old beauty, who plays Simi on the Mzansi Magic telenovela Isithembiso, suffers from anxiety and often can’t cope when she’s in crowds. She was diagnosed with the disorder 10 years ago. Nandi shares how she deals with it while she’s making a name for herself in entertainment. COPING MECHANISMS Her anxiety is often triggered by stress and “being in enclosed spaces, like lifts and on flights”. “If I’m in a stressful situation I take Rescue Remedy pills to calm me down,” she says. “I take them at least three times a week.” But the best medicine is…

Print-cess Pretty in Pink Camo Cool Sporty Stripe STOCKISTS: ACKERMANS 0860-900-100; COTTON ON 011-784-0218; EDGARS 0800-203-925; JET 0800-203-925; MRP 0800-21-25-35; SUPERBALIST.COM; WOOLWORTHS 0860-022-002 WE MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO PROVIDE ACCURATE PRICES BUT MISTAKES MAY OCCUR. MOVE! AND THE SUPPLIERS DO NOT BIND THEMSELVES TO THE PRICES PRINTED HERE.…

PLAYBOY deodorant unveils body lotions to complement the range. Boost your confidence and smell great with the new body lotions available in the most popular Playboy deodorant fragrances –Amazon, Atlantis and London Knights. All the Playboy lotions are enriched with Hydr8PLUS™, a unique blend of 8 beneficial nutrients and vitamins. In addition, the different variants each boast either Guarana energising complex, G-Force cooling complex and Moisture boost complex for their various benefits. Now you can feel as good as you smell! Playboy won the Coolest Brand Award for 2018 in the Sunday Times Generation Next 2018 Survey. “This accolade leaves us well placed to bring a product like this to the market – we have a loyal base of consumers that use our products that would be interested in complementing…

THEY might not be the first person who comes to mind when you think of your favourite soapie or series. But without them, even your most-loved show would be boring. They are often spicy and bring just the right amount of sass to your screens. ODIRILE EYES THE THRONE On Mzansi Magic’s The Throne, actress Tsholofelo Matshaba is constantly commended by viewers for her brilliant and outstanding acting skills. She plays Odirile Kwena, the manipulative and deceptive sister of the queen, who wants the throne at all cost. She does everything with a fake smile, which makes it impossible for anyone to suspect her devious ways. Odirile also killed her niece, Basetsana, whom she believed was the next heir to the throne, so she can have the comfy seat to…

Dr Babalwa Funda kaMabhoza is an educational sexologist and business woman. She is a member of the South African Sexual Health Association (SASHA) and African Society for Sexual Medicine (ASSM). THERE'S NO FOREPLAY Q I've been with my partner for a year and we’ve been intimate for six months. He refuses to touch me – he simply wants to plug his penis into my vagina. ANONYMOUS, POTCHEFSTROOM A Clearly your partner sees you as a sex object. He doesn’t understand that as a mutual partner you also need to enjoy and fully benefit from sex. He's not been fully educated and you have the responsibility of sitting him down and telling him how you feel about the status quo, as well as sharing your expectations. Please consider consulting a clinical…

Thuli Bottoman, a senior counselling social worker at The Family Life Centre, says, “It's unfair of your father to give you the task of keeping his behaviour secret. Your silence with this has sent him signals that you will not tell your mother. He might presume you're on his side and not concerned about this behaviour and its impact on you and your mother. Keeping this secret forever could ultimately be damaging to you and your mother’s relationship. There's a good chance she will find out that you knew all along and your silence might feel like a betrayal. For this reason, you do need to tell your mother. You might find it helpful to seek the assistance of an impartial counsellor who will assist you with how to break…

■ Try to delay your first sexual activity for as long as possible. When planning to have sex, go for a checkup with your partner to find out if either of you have “silent” infections (ones without symptoms) that can be transmitted between the two of you. ■ Always use condoms to prevent transmitting any infections. Some infections may be silent in one partner, but when they are transmitted to the other partner they may become active and cause symptoms. ■ Never be shy to ask your doctor or family-planning nurse about any symptoms or unusual growths, wounds, smells, menstrual or fertility challenges. Doctors see hundreds of patients with these problems. Remember, prevention is always better than cure.…

MATSHIDISO THALITA MASOMBUKA The first year of marriage is the most difficult, just be patient. Remember, you are two different characters, so in time all will be normal. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too – it's important, dear. MASHAPA MASHAPA Marriage is a beautiful thing, but problems occur. Communication is the key to any kind of predicament we find ourselves in. I’m no pundit, but bottling things up doesn’t help. MATLHOGONOLO MPHAFE I think you should sit down with him and talk about this. He must have something that makes him behave this way. It’s sad, I know how you feel, but I’m telling you there's a girl or family behind this.…

If you’re going for a corporate job, “wear a business suit and heels,” says Tamara Wolpert of Viv Gordon Placements. Plunging necklines, short skirts, shorts and casual jeans are a no-no. Plan your outfit the day before, says Celeste Stewart, director of Bold Curiosity. And iron it, just in case there’s a power cut on the morning of the interview! . If you’re unsure how formal or casual your outfit should be, be guided by their website or by people who work there, Stewart advises. Use common sense too. “If you can wear it to a club, don’t wear it to an interview,” says Alexis Kitchen of Afrizan Personnel. “And jewellery should be seen and not heard.”…

■ Lungile Makhoba, district manager: Durban life office at AVBOB, will talk about the benefits of planning for the future with AVBOB. ■ Nedbank’s strategic relationships and consumer education manager, Fundiswa Zuma, will talk about how easy it is to open a Nedbank Stokvel Account and the value that this account offers to stokvels as a collective. ■ Miladys representative Lorna Kalimashe will be doing a style talk a nd show you this season’s wardrobe makers. Come dressed in your Miladys outfit and stand a chance to win prizes. ■ Avon Justine representative Nomvula Mazibuko will introduce the speakers on the day who will share how you can become an independent Avon Justine representative and earn extra money. ■ Ratna Siriah, business head for Zee World, will be speaking about…

HE may be just six years old but this little guy knows exactly what he wants to be by the time he’s 18: a self-made millionaire creating jobs for millions of unemployed young South Africans. And Omphile Mabitsela has already started the ball rolling. A little more than three months ago the Grade 2 pupil at Radford House – a small private school in Randburg, Joburg – founded his own stationery company, Quirk Quirk Inc, with the help of his mom, Prudence. THE LITTLE BUSINESSMAN It started out as a class project, the pair tells us, and they turned it into a little company when Omphile told his mom he wanted to be a businessperson. He’s always been a creative kid and for the project he made what he calls…

ACTING saved her – and when she says that, she isn’t exaggerating. Actress Nokuzola Mlengana (57) is a late bloomer. She first hit the small screen when she was 45, she says, a far cry from some of her colleagues who basically grew up on camera. Known as Sis Ouma by fans of drama series Skeem Saam, Nokuzola never forgets how blessed she was to get a foot in the door in the industry. Born and brought up in rural Eastern Cape, all she knew was fetching water from the river, having to make a fire to cook or get hot water and walking about 10km a day to access education. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she would one day end up on TV on one of…

THE twins are taking turns playing games on a cellphone outside. The busy dad is walking around the house with a box of pizza, snacks and cooldrink; and the mom is busy getting dolled up in the kitchen for an interview. But there’s nothing unusual about all this, the long-suffering husband, Pontsho Mashile, says. After all his wife, Millicent Mashile (31), is a star. She’s a TV presenter on One Gospel’s Alpha Youth and is also an actress. So Pontsho isn’t even a little fazed by the people busy rearranging his house with cameras, lights and makeup everywhere. “This is not even my house when you think about it because my wife always shouts at me if I leave things lying around or I change how some things are placed,”…

I WAS raped and you were born.” These words written by his mother changed his life and robbed him of his sense of self. They kept echoing in his head and no matter how much he tried to run away from the truth, he couldn’t escape it. So Scelo Mncube chose to do the only thing that made sense to him: write a book – and hopefully exorcise the demons that had been living in his head since the day he found out the truth about his conception. The KwaZulu-Natal-born motivational speaker published his work last year, almost 10 years after his shocking discovery. He officially launched the book in May, touring across South Africa in the hopes that his story could inspire even one person. He's forgiven his father,…

1 Actress Terry Pheto was one of the delegates representing SA at the ... Film Festival? A Sundance B Cannes C Berlin D Venice 2 A ... is a surgical procedure for male sterilisation or permanent contraception? A Hysterectomy B Vasectomy C Tubal ligation D Orchiectomy 3 By which title were Russian rulers referred to before the fall of their monarchy? A Emperor B King C Caesar D Tsar 4 President Cyril Ramaphosa’s inauguration will cost ... less than that of the former president? A R10 million B R50 million C R100 million D R1 billion 5 The US recently started a trade ban with which Chinese telecommunications company? A Huawei B Samsung C Xiaomi D Hisense 6 In ancient Egyptian religion, ... was the god of the underworld, afterlife…

Q THE TRICK TO PALAZZO PANTS A Palazzo pants are extremely trendy and great to wear with any outfit. They have become part of today’s street style fashion. If you’re tired of wearing jeans and are getting bored with leggings, take a break and invest in a pair of palazzos. It’s best to buy high-waisted ones. They can be worn on most occasions if you style them properly, whether it’s a formal function, an outing with friends, a business trip or just another day at work.…

STUFFED BUTTERNUT SERVES 4 PREPARATION: 15 MIN COOKING: 40-45 MIN ■ 2 butternuts, halved lengthways ■ 30ml (2T) olive oil STUFFING ■ 15ml (1T) olive oil ■ 1 onion, chopped ■ 2 garlic cloves, chopped ■ 350g lean beef mince ■ 150g spinach, chopped ■ grated zest of 2 lemons ■ 1 beef stock pot ■ 125ml (½c) water ■ freshly ground pepper TO FINISH ■ salt and freshly ground pepper ■ 15ml (1T) olive oil ■ 100g mozzarella cheese, sliced (optional) Preheat the oven to 200°C. 1 Put the butternut halves, cut side up, on a large baking sheet. Drizzle the oil over and roast for 30 minutes or until nearly done. 2 STUFFING Meanwhile, heat the oil in a deep pan and fry the onion and garlic until…

I RECENTLY received a question from a reader and decided to address the matter as there are many couples going through the same experience. The question asked: “I'm worried about my partner because every time she tests, it says she's negative even though we're having unprotected sex. I'm already on treatment but I'm wondering how this is possible.” When I received this question I had to think deeply before responding. Although I had several things to say, I had to put aside my own emotions and worries before answering. My worries stem from being concerned about the partner who is exposed to the possibility of contracting HIV through unprotected sex. ‘ARVS ARE TAKEN TO SUPPRESS HIV, NOT PREVENT TRANSMISSION’ She may not know about the enquirer’s status, or she may…

RHYTHM CITY WEEKDAYS ON E.TV AT 19:00 Jamaica and Mapula are both desperate for money. Suffo must adjust to his new life. Bash is suspicious of his new friend. Mapula sneaks Banele into the Khuses’ house. Kop teaches Jamaica a lesson. Bash takes things to the next level with CC, Mzi moves out, Banele pleads his case at the university and Kop and Jamaica are still at war. Bash prepares to tell CC the truth. Banele is caught hiding out. The water is cut off in the yard. CC finds out the truth about Bash. SCANDAL! WEEKDAYS ON E.TV 19:30 Quinton’s addiction takes over. Brother and sister make a pact and Gloria lies and makes a painful decision. When Shado offers to clear the way for their liaison, Quinton finds…

IT’S a topic on everyone’s mind right now after a Sunday newspaper reported that it would be taught in schools. Although the education department said the initial report was incorrect, many still feel uncomfortable with the idea of discussing masturbation. Educational psychologist and head of youth services at The Family Life Centre, Claudia Abelheim, says there is nothing to be shy about. Johannesburg medical doctor, Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng, says the act of masturbation helps you to discover what you want when you have sex with a partner. WHAT IS MASTURBATION? Johannesburg physiologist, Karen Moross, says, “Masturbation is the erotic stimulation of one’s own genitals for sexual pleasure, most often to the point of orgasm.” Claudia says the act is completely normal. “It's a biological urge that all people, both men…

The purpose of the interview is not only for the company to assess you but for you to decide if you’d fit in there too. It’s a good idea to prepare a few questions beforehand that you can ask the inter–viewer when they give you the opportunity. Asking questions at the end of the interview shows you’re interested in the company and have done your research, Wolpert notes. It's a bad idea not to ask questions. Suggested questions include: ■ Why is the job available? ■ What are the challenges in the role? ■ What is the company policy on development? ■ How do you manage talent in this organisation? ■ What is your performance management system? ■ How does your induction for new employees work? ■ What kind of…

IT’S over, and she has no regrets. Now all gospel sensation Fikile Mlomo (37) wants to do is focus on her music. The star broke up with her fiancé of three years, Sifiso Sibisi, and their dirty laundry has since become tabloid fodder. The UJesu Uyangenelela hitmaker tells Move! she’s done with her ex-fiancé’s bad habits. LOVE AND WAR When we chat to Fikile, she’s reluctant to add fuel to the fire. Yet she opens up to Move! about the events that led to the end of her union. “He cheated on me with his friend’s sister. We used to chill with her and have a nice time, meanwhile the two of them knew what they were doing behind my back. ‘I WOULD BE CRAZY TO GO BACK TO HIM’…

Don’t give out private information, such as your ID number, physical address and banking details to strangers. If you decide to meet, do so in a public place. Also, tell a friend where you are going and when you expect to be back. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Always trust your instincts. Don’t assume that the person is who they say they are. It’s easy to pretend or provide false information over the phone or online. DISCLAIMER: Move! magazine will not be held responsible/liable for anything that may arise with regard to readers providing each other with personal information. We advise participants to protect themselves from any criminal intent/activity.…

IMAGINE a world in which your body hates some of your cells so much that it starts to attack your hair, causing it to fall out. This is the situation Sizakele Mdluli-Chaplin found herself in and it led to a great deal of pain, frustration and grief. Sizakele discovered she has alopecia, a condition in which the body basically attacks itself, and she struggled to overcome the diagnosis. But then she turned this health problem into something positive by writing a book about it. Read more about her inspiring journey on page 22. And let us know if you have something similar to Sizakele – we would love to hear your story. Write to us at mystory@move.co.za THE MOVE! TEAM TAKING FREEDOM FOR GRANTED I feel the youth of today…

SOUTH African entertainers came out to play at the Black Entertainment Television (BET) Awards Nominees party at Multichoice City in Randburg, Johannesburg, recently. Much to their surprise and delight of fans, two South African superstars have been nominated. Rapper AKA was nominated in the Best International Act category, alongside Nigerian musicians, Burna Boy and Mr Eazi, Dave and Giggs from the UK as well as Aya Nakamura and Dosseh from France. In the fan voted category of Best New International Act, Sho Madjozi from South Africa is nominated together with Teniola Apata from Nigeria, Headie One and Octavian from the UK and France’s Jok'Air and Nesly. The BET awards, scheduled to take place in Los Angeles (L.A) on 23 June, celebrate the brightest stars across music, television, film, sports and…

SHE was horrified when her hair began falling out in clumps, leaving bald patches on her head. Each morning Sizakele Mdluli-Chaplin noticed the patches growing bigger and bigger, the hair falling out faster and faster. “The skin on my face was also becoming discoloured and no one could tell me what was wrong,” she says. THE DIAGNOSIS Sizakele (37) sought medical help and a battery of tests was performed but doctors all told her the same thing: there was nothing wrong with her. She was fine. “But my hair was still falling out,” she tells us. “Some of the doctors associated the hair loss with high stress levels and others said it was because of my hairstyles but I hadn’t braided my hair for about two years.” Sizakele was eventually…

FOR THE KIDS ■ Where do milkshakes come from? Excited cows. ■ What does a footballer and a magician have in common? Both do hat tricks. ■ What is a rabbit’s favourite dance style? Hip-hop! ■ Why are footballers never asked out to dinner? Because they are always dribbling. NEW BEER “Good afternoon, my good barman, a quart of Less if you please,” says the old man as he enters the tavern. “Less? Never heard of it,” the barman replies. “Oh, come now surely you have,” he persists. “No, sorry, we certainly don’t stock it. What is it anyway? Some foreign beer?” “Well, I’m not sure,” the old man admits, “It was my doctor who mentioned it. He said I should drink less.” MEMORY LOSS Three sisters, aged 92, 94,…

1 Enhance your look “The best makeup advice I’ve ever received is that smoky-eye makeup enhances your eyes,” says NEO MOA (29), a salon manager from Soweto. “I usually apply black eyeshadow to the outer corners of my eyelids and blend it. I then apply a black liner on my waterline and finish off with mascara.” BEAUTY ED’S TIP For a more glamorous look, apply black eyeshadow on your upper lashline and blend towards the crease and outer corner of your eyelid. Finish off with mascara on the lower and upper lashes. 2 Prep your skin MASEGO KUNUPI (28), founder of the beauty school and store Chique Beauty, believes you need a squeaky-clean canvas before you start applying makeup. “Before applying foundation, cleanse your skin thoroughly to help prevent clogged…

‘I WAS RAPED AT UNIVERSITY AND I'VE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT’ Q HE'S CHEATING ON ME I'm 49 years old and I live in Cosmo City but I’ve been in a relationship with the father of my son, who is based in Soweto, for 16 years. He paid lobola to my family in December 2017. Unfortunately, God has exposed his affair. His other girlfriend got my sister’s number from his cellphone and told my sister about the affair. He's admitted what he's doing is wrong. He said he tried to end things but she keeps saying she'll commit suicide. I’m not sure if she knows my boyfriend paid lobola and that he has a child with me. She mentioned he introduced her to his family, but he's never invited me…

‘I DON'T WANT ANY MEDICAL PROCEDURES TO BE DONE TO ME. I WANT TO BE LEFT TO DIE’ Q HE’S VIOLATING THE COURT ORDER My ex-husband has a habit of not returning the children on time when they visit him. This is an inconvenience for me and it also violates the terms of the court order. What legal steps can I take? ANONYMOUS, BLOUBERGSTRAND A You need to talk to your ex-partner and make him aware that he's violating a court order. If he persists with this conduct, you can approach the children’s court to have his rights suspended or revised. You can also report this to the police so that the police warn him of the legal implications of violating a court order. Q HOW LONG DO I HAVE…

Cervical cancer occurs when the cells of the cervix (the lower part or mouth of the womb) grow abnormally and invade other tissues and organs of the body. When it’s invasive, this cancer affects the deeper tissues of the cervix and may spread to other parts of the body, most notably the lungs, liver, bladder, vagina and rectum.…

We got married last December, and were in a relationship for about two years before that. Before the wedding, everything seemed fine and we did certain things together. We lived apart, but we spent a lot of time in each other's company. Now, things are so bad that we hardly have heart-to-hearts and meaningful conversations anymore. We don’t go out and we aren't intimate – we are living and growing apart as we have separate interests. How common is it for partners to feel lonely in their marriages? Is there anything I can do to improve the situation before it escalates to divorce?…

So you’ve been friends for years, but lately the balance of your relationship has shifted. Your friend never initiates meeting, she repeatedly lets you down at the last minute, and when you do spend time together it’s all about her. She doesn’t get pleasure from your successes – she’s jealous – and has a growing habit of putting you down. It’s just not fun like it used to be. You leave your time together feeling down and bad about yourself. So is it time to dump this friend? Firstly, ask yourself if your friend is simply going through a tough time. If they are, then this is the time to step up and support them. Pula says you must analyse the relationship from your perspective and also from your friend’s.…

YOU’VE made a great impression with your application and CV, and now your potential employers want to meet in person – before hopefully offering you the job you want. Remember, you’ve been invited to the interview because there is a vacancy – not because the interviewer is trying to catch you out. The aim of the interview is to clarify your qualifications and skills, to see if you have the level of maturity, intellect and motivation required for the position, and to decide if you’re a good fit for the company. We speak to experts to find out how to bring out the best in you. PREPARING FOR THE INTERVIEW It is important to do research, our experts say. Learn as much as possible about the company, as well as…

THE most important relationship every leader should cultivate is a mentoring one. Mentorship is important for growth, as it allows the mentee to learn. It also gives the mentor an opportunity to pass on his ideas, experiences and opinions about various subjects. Leadership and mentoring both carry certain responsibilities to make this relationship successful. Let’s look at a few principles of leadership and mentoring. THE ROLE OF LEADERS Leadership can be a lonely road. The adage “it’s tough at the top” rings true for most leaders. As you climb the leadership ladder, it seems like “the higher you go, the colder it becomes”. Due to the pressures in organisations and the responsibility that leaders carry, they often find themselves without friends, or even family support, only allies and enemies. Hebrews…