Table of contents for February 2019 in Guideposts

I was in eighth grade when I attended my first Shakespearean play. Dragged to it would be a better description. The play was Twelfth Night, which I thought was an apt title because I expected to sleep through the whole thing. It was a class outing to Wayne State University in Detroit, and on the bus trip down Woodward Avenue I remember sneakily tossing things from the back of the bus at the girls we secretly liked. We were the only ones in the Hilberry Theatre that day. The lights dimmed. There was the usual snickering and horseplay. A girl hissed, “Cut it out!” Then an otherworldly lighting effect washed over the stage, and pretty soon we were on the coast of Illyria with the clever young aristocrat Viola, after…

GO BANANAS Working in an elementary school lunchroom, as I have for nearly 15 years, requires getting up and leaving the house well before my own two little girls wake up. My husband gets them ready in the morning, but I make up their lunches the night before. I always write them notes on their napkin or banana so they know I’m thinking of them. One evening, my mom was over. We chatted as I made the girls’ lunch. “I wish there were more I could do to encourage the kids at my school,” I said. “How about that?” my mom asked, gesturing to the banana I was putting in my daughter’s lunch. On it I’d just written, “I love you to infinity and beyond!” I pondered the idea. Two…

I opened the door and stared at the closet full of my late husband Denny’s clothes. With the winter weather here, someone could surely be using them. Denny had passed away a little more than a year ago. I was still struggling to let go. As I stood there, I could almost hear him saying, “Get rid of them! I’m not using them anymore.” I smiled. Denny would always be with me, wouldn’t he? I took the clothes out of the closet, folded them into neat bundles and bagged them up. I would drop them off at our community school, which would give them to local families who were in need of some warm winter clothing. It started to snow as I drove over to drop off the clothes. Thick,…

How can parents protect children against addiction? What should parents do when they suspect a problem with alcohol or other drugs? Tough questions. But answers are more straightforward than you might think. The top priority for parents: Be parents. A parent’s job is to guide their children, not be their best friend. That means knowing the facts, setting clear limits and being consistent. Teens are developmentally programmed for risk-taking. Their brains are still establishing the ability to think for the long term and make sound judgments. “Teens will be teens” is not an adequate response to risk-taking. Parents should educate them-selves about the mental and physical effects of alcohol and other drugs and tell their teens they do not approve of them using any mood-altering substance. Research strongly supports the…

Willie Marshall found that keeping his daily routine and serving others helped alleviate his loneliness after his wife’s death. Those are strategies that Gail Deckert, who leads devotions at the Good Samaritan Society, recommends as well. Here are her suggestions for overcoming loneliness, particularly as we grow older: Be honest about your feelings. Don’t sugarcoat your emotions with yourself or others—family, friends, caregivers. “If you don’t express your feelings, people can’t really help you,” Deckert says. She looks to David’s openness in Psalm 42 as an example: “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?” he asks himself. Practice positive self-talk. “Encourage yourself,” Deckert says. “Tell yourself, ‘You’re not going to sit at home again. You’re going to call the girls and meet them for tea.’ Then…

IT WAS THE DAY AFTER I HAD KNEE surgery for a torn meniscus—the latest in a long line of things that had brought me pain. The doctor had urged me to walk on my leg, so I hobbled out the side door and headed to the backyard. Our dog, Charlie Bear, scooted out in front of me. He went straight to a spot on the sidewalk and put his nose down. “What is it, Charlie?” I asked. A baby bird, maybe an inch and a half long. Gently, using just two fingers, I picked him up and put him in my palm. His tiny orange-and-black beak opened, and his chest moved. I carried him carefully inside. “Look at this beautiful little bird,” I said to my husband. “Where did you…

GROUP DEVOTION Week after week, I make a two-hour drive to Tulsa to visit my mother-in-law, Dorothy, in her memory care facility. One day, as I pushed her wheelchair toward the patio door, I wondered why. Each visit I talked to her about days gone by, showed her pictures on my phone of her grandchildren and great-grand-children. I read devotions to her, sang off-key, painted her nails, fed her lunch and some days just held her hand. Her once vibrant and kind face now rarely mustered a smile. Dorothy was 96 and suffering from dementia. She couldn’t speak and no longer knew who I was. Her only daughter, who visited her daily, wasn’t sure Dorothy knew who she was either. My husband came as often as he could, but many…

Willie Marshall (Gather My Tears, page 41) wasn’t just a hockey player—he’s an American Hockey League legend. In 1999, the Hershey Bears retired his jersey number. Prior to the ceremony, he hadn’t been to the arena since he’d played there—and won two of his three Calder Cups. He found the arena hadn’t changed much. “I remembered the feeling, the smell and excitement of being there before a game,” Willie says. The league honored him in 2004 by establishing an award in his name, which goes to the top regular season scorer each year. And in 2006 he was one of seven inaugural inductees to the AHL Hall of Fame. “I loved the game so much,” Willie says. He still indulges in his post-hockey passion—writing poetry—when the inspiration strikes. He also enjoys…

Inspired by Madeleine L’Engle In our exclusive video, Sarah Arthur (page 36), author of A Light So Lovely: The Spiritual Legacy of Madeleine L’Engle, shares how she found strength in L’Engle’s work following a harrowing breast cancer diagnosis. guideposts.org/arthurlengle The Real Saint Valentine How much do you know about the man (or men) the holiday is named for? Check out our collection of seven fascinating facts about this saint. guideposts.org/saintvalentine African-American Innovators For Black History Month, we’re celebrating some of the brilliant African-American men and women who changed the world with their inventions—from traffic lights to elevators. guideposts.org/blackinventors Keep Your Guideposts Coming We make it easy to renew your magazine, check on the status of your subscription or manage book series shipments. guideposts.org/ecares…

I SETTLED INTO MY SEAT IN THE audience at Good Morning America and stared down at the shoes I was wearing. My little sister’s shoes. Emily had died eight months earlier, a slow, painful death from cervical cancer. I had inherited her gray, slip-on Converse sneakers with white laces. I loved those shoes. I hated them too. Every time I put them on, I was reminded that I wouldn’t see my sister or hold her again for a long, long time. Emily and I hadn’t been close growing up. We were opposites. She was the type to jump up in the morning and start her day, with GMA on the TV. I liked nothing better than a quiet morning with coffee and Scripture. When she got sick, I flew from…

I GLANCED WARILY AT THE IV BAG hanging from the pole in my infusion bay. “Isn’t that the poison symbol?” I asked the nurse. He had donned a full gown, mask and gloves to hook up the chemotherapy drugs now coursing through my system. “Yep,” he said. “We’re trained to handle these drugs carefully.” “So I’m being poisoned,” I said, trying to joke. “Basically.” He smiled, but his eyes were sad. “I’m sorry.” When he left, I took a ragged breath, scared and angry. This was not where I wanted to be. A year ago, life had been full. Sycamore Creek Church, the United Methodist congregation where my husband, Tom, serves as pastor in Lansing, Michigan, was thriving. Our two boys, ages four and seven, made for a lively household.…

FOR 25 YEARS, I SERVED AS A chaplain in the U.S. Army. I got used to working closely with soldiers, listening and counseling them in the field, leading weekly services. But my last assignment was something completely different. I worked for the government’s Defense Logistics Agency, which supplies our troops with everything from uniforms to spare parts, food to fuel. My bailiwick there? Religious objects. The small team I headed at the DLA had to figure out which religious items our troops needed wherever they were stationed. That meant sending out palm fronds for Palm Sunday and ashes for Ash Wednesday, menorahs for Hanukkah, cushions for Buddhist meditation, prayer rugs for Muslims, communion wine for Catholics and Protestants, honey-based mead for Wiccans, Torahs, Bibles, Qurans and Sutras. Requests came from…

As B.J. Taylor’s story highlights, grief is a complex journey. There’s no single prescription for coping; grief manifests in a variety of ways, and healing happens in its own time, at its own pace. Below are some tips for managing the grieving process. Feel your feelings. Let yourself grieve however feels comfortable. Accepting that there is no right or wrong way to express grief can prevent self-judgment. Be patient. Processing heavy emotions doesn’t happen overnight. Give yourself credit for progress, no matter how small, and be gentle during the moments that feel like a step backward—these two methods work together toward healing. Reach out for help. Grief can be lonely and isolating. Letting family and friends know what you need—or even simply talking to them about your feelings—is a way…

½ cup quick-cooking oats4 egg whites1 teaspoon vanilla extract ½ apple, skin on, finely diced½ teaspoon ground cinnamon2 teaspoons chia seeds Apple Protein Pancakes Combine oats, egg whites, vanilla, apple, cinnamon and chia seeds in a small bowl. Stir until thoroughly mixed, and set aside. Liberally coat a skillet with oil spray, and warm over medium heat. Pour or spoon mixture onto skillet, making about five small pancakes. Cook each side for 1 to 2 minutes, until pancakes are golden brown. Reapply oil spray between flips to ensure pancakes don’t stick to skillet. Enjoy the pancakes plain or topped with more diced apple and cinnamon, yogurt or a drizzle of maple syrup or honey. Makes 1 serving. From Joy’s Simple Food Remedies, by Joy Bauer (Hay House, Inc.). “For health…

GRACEFUL REQUEST Before major religious holidays, my grandfather, a devout Catholic and professor who had served in the Marines, would come home from church with a small loaf of bread and a copy of a table grace. As the oldest grandchild, I often got to read the prayer Poppy had brought at our family’s holiday table. Those are some of my fondest memories. Now, as the editor of the Abundant Table page, I have the task of pairing recipes with just the right table grace. We use all kinds of recipes for Abundant Table—main dishes, appetizers, sides, desserts, even smoothies—and need a variety of graces for all occasions. Does your family have a favorite you’d like to see in an upcoming issue? If we publish it, we’ll pay you a…

“My mantra is ‘I have to change the way I think in order to change the way I feel.’ That gets me motivated.”ROBIN ROBERTS, anchor of Good Morning America “Prayers are tools not for doing or getting but for being and becoming.”EUGENE PETERSON, longtime pastor and author of more than 30 books “The way I look at it, every day that I’m moving forward is a day I’m not moving backward.”radio-show host BOBBY BONES, from his book Bare Bones: I’m Not Lonely If You’re Reading This Book “People who need help some times look a lot like people who don’t need help.”GLENNON DOYLE, inspirational author “Don’t stress the could-haves. If it should have, it would have.”message seen on Pinterest “If you want to find happiness, find gratitude.”STEVE MARABOLI, author, speaker…

My mother grew up in the tenements of the Bronx in New York City and was the first in her family to go to college. One of the requirements she faced was having to take a course in public speaking. She was petrified. “I had never spoken publicly before,” she told me, “and I had no idea how to do it.” She woke up with a stomachache at the mere thought of it. Fortunately her teacher gave her three crucial tips: write key points on note cards, practice before a mirror and visualize speaking before the class. See and hear yourself confidently delivering your talk. It worked. “For the first time in my life,” Mom recalled, “I was able to speak in public, something no one in my family had…

SEVEN YEARS AGO, MY HUSBAND, Steve, and I lost our oldest son to a heroin overdose. Justin was 29. He’d battled opioids for six years, starting with prescription pain pills and progressing to heroin. The odds of recovering from heroin addiction once a user begins injecting the drug, which Justin did, are frighteningly low. Justin did not beat the odds, although we thought he would. Losing a child is an unimaginable experience. After Justin died, I questioned everything. Myself. How Steve and I had raised Justin. Whether we should have spent less time at work, paid more attention, recognized the warning signs. I questioned how a healthy, happy boy could become a drug addict in a safe and prosperous suburb. My story is about my search for answers to those…

THE CHRISTIAN WRITER FREDERICK Buechner once described a person’s life calling as “the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” To my own astonishment, that’s what my work feels like every day. I’m director of strategic partnerships for an organization called Destiny Rescue, which liberates women and children from sexual enslavement, concentrating mostly in Asia. Why am I so astonished that I landed this job? Well, if you’d known me 10 years ago, you’d be astonished too. Back then, I was the one with deep hunger. I was jobless, bankrupt, living in my dad’s basement. I carried the deep wounds of childhood sexual abuse. I hungered for work, for purpose. For a reason to hope. But I was lost. God met me in that dark place.…

HEALTH CORRESPONDENT; Clearwater, Florida: Dr. Meir Shinitzky, Ph.D., is a former visiting professor at Duke University, recipient of the prestigious J.F. Kennedy Prize and author of more than 200 international scientific papers on human body cells. But now he’s come up with what the medical world considers his greatest accomplishment — A vital compound. so powerful, it’s reported to repair… even regrow damaged brain cells. In layman’s terms — Bring back your memory power. And leave you feeling more focused and clear-headed than you have in years! In his last speaking engagment, Dr. Shinitsky explains this phenomenon in simple terms; “Science has shown when your brain nutrient levels drop, you can start to experience memory problems and overall mental fatigue. Your ability to concentrate and stay focused becomes compromised. And…