Table of contents for October 9, 2023 in Globe

SEE LEVEL The breeze proves tutu much for Black Swan ballerina NATALIE PORTMAN — whose shapewear is suddenly on display! SCREEN QUEEN Phone zombie JOJO SIWA stays fixated on her cell as the YouTuber chows down in L.A. GOING HOG WILD Concert chameleon SHANIA TWAIN nets attention onstage in London by wigging out on a motorcycle HOW BEE-ZARRE! STING’s angsty expression makes the rangy rocker look like the King of Pain! THE BEST CELEB PHOTOS EVERY WEEK! IN GRAPE HASTE Succession corker BRIAN COX wastes no time downing a glass of wine NO TANKS! Dancing with the Stars goofball VAL CHMERKOVSKIY proves he’s a total boob!…

BIPOLAR Britney Spears did, indeed, have a fling with her felon ex-house-keeper — despite her initial denials, sources say! Now pals are defending the 41-year-old pop tart by insisting she only hooked up with Paul Richard Soliz, 37, two times — after estranged hubby Sam Asghari filed for divorce — and the minute she found out about his shady past, she cut him off for good! “They had a short fling after Sam left but that was it,” spills an insider. “Britney hooked up with him twice and, at the time, did not know about his criminal past. She no longer has any communication with him.” The dirty dust-up over the housekeeper emerged just weeks after 29-year-old Asghari pulled the plug on his tempestuous 14-month marriage to the Toxic songbird…

MOVIE oddball Russell Brand is in the hot seat with police following a horrific report accusing him of raping, abusing and bullying gals — including an underage 16-year-old beauty who claims American Idol judge Katy Perry’s ex-hubby groomed her as his sex toy. The day after an explosive British TV documentary, Russell Brand: In Plain Sight, presented four women claiming the 48-year-old Forgetting Sarah Marshall actor had fiendishly preyed on them around a decade ago, London’s Metropolitan Police announced they’re investigating an earlier 2003 incident in trendy Soho! Brand denies any “criminal” wrongdoing, but Scotland Yard is on his case and is asking “anyone who believes they may have been a victim of a sexual offense, no matter how long ago it was, to contact us.” The documentary’s devastating revelations…

SMARMY Ken Jennings is facing a make-or-break moment after smooth-talking his way into the solo Jeopardy hosting gig while his bitter rival Mayim Bialik took a hiatus to honor Hollywood’s writers strike, tipsters say. “Ken is cocky — even more so since he got a full-season commitment for this year,” spills an insider. “But he knows fan support is what’s going to cement the job for him long term, so he’s sucking up to the hilt.” Jennings, a former contestant, approaches his gig by focusing on fans at the live tapings, which are only a few days a month, says the insider. “He’s talking a lot to the audience when the cameras aren’t running, and soaking up the attention because a lot of people in the crowd are in awe…

It’s a girl for LIEV SCHREIBER, 55, and his lover of six years, former Miss South Dakota TAYLOR NEISEN, 31, who named the kid HAZEL BEE. The Ray Donovan star also shares sons SASHA, 16, and KAI, 14, with ex-girlfriend NAOMI WATTS, 54. JOSH DUHAMEL, 50, and wife No. 2, beauty queen AUDRA MARI, 29, are expecting a baby. The actor, who has ten-year-old son AXL with ex FERGIE, married 2016’s Miss World America last year. “I’m truly happy for you guys,” posts the singer, 48. “Axl can’t wait to be a big brother.” Rocker STEVEN TYLER, 75, damaged his vocal cords, leading to “subsequent bleeding” during an Aerosmith gig and was forced to postpone a month’s worth of the group’s Peace Out: The Farewell Tour concerts. RENA SOFER, 54, is…

Whole wheat is healthier! ✚ NO MATTER which way you slice it, whole wheat bread is better for your health than a white loaf, experts say. Mary Sabat, a Georgia-based registered dietitian nutritionist, explains whole grain products containing wheat’s bran and germ layers have more fiber, vitamins and minerals — as well as disease-preventing plant compounds called phytonutrients — than those made with refined flours. “The fiber content in whole wheat bread promotes better digestion, helps stabilize blood sugar levels and supports heart health,” says Sabat. IVF babies linked to stroke! ✚ WOMEN who undergo in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatments are 66 percent more likely to be hospitalized for a stroke within a year of giving birth than gals who conceived naturally! Researchers at Rutgers University came to that conclusion…

PLAYBOY kingpin Hugh Hefner saw red whenever one of his luscious Playmates put on red lipstick — so he banned them from wearing it! Model Holly Madison, a 43-year-old ex-galpal of the late letch, reveals the nudie mag magnate thought red lips made the bunnies look “old.” “I think it was a control tactic,” says Madison, who adds that horndog Hef thought red was for “an older, mature woman,” and what he preferred was “the barely legal” look. Holly moved into the Playboy Mansion in 2001 at age 21 and dated the geezer for seven years. He died at 91 in 2017.…

THE greatest film tragedy you’ve never seen is Greed, a lost 1924 film that had tragedy of its own — it disappeared! Most versions of the silent classic and its 85 hours of footage are missing, including scenes on location in Death Valley, where cast and crew wilted while writer-director Erich von Stroheim cracked the whip. The movie follows a San Francisco dentist, played by GIBSON GOWLAND, who rots from within like a diseased tooth when he can’t swipe his stingy wife ZASU PITTS’ $5,000 lottery winnings. The ending is scarier than most horror movies! Only TWELVE people saw the original eight-hour version — but in 1999, Turner Entertainment created a four-hour reconstruction.…

MONACO’S notorious runaway princess, Charlene, fled the country once again — days after insisting she’s “serene and happy” in her 12-year marriage to Prince Albert! The former Olympic swimmer, 45, traveled solo to her home country of South Africa, while Albert, 65, stayed put in his plush palace in Monte Carlo with their eight-year-old twins — Princess Gabriella and Prince Jacques. Sources snitch the pair were expected to put on a united front at a charity event near Johannesburg amid rumors their romance is a sham. But Charlene shockingly attended the function without her husband! Spies have claimed the royals are strictly a ceremonial couple and only get together for public events — if, and when, the pudgy prince can book an appointment with the glam gal, who’s established her…

REALITY star Shannon Beador was busted for drunk driving after cops say she smacked into a house, drove off, parked in the middle of the road and began walking her pet pooch. The 59-year-old Real House-wives of Orange County diva was nabbed by police, booked for DUI and hit-and-run and released without bond by Newport Beach cops, who kept her car. Sources say the reality star’s going through a rough time since splitting with beau John Janssen. In July, a source claimed “wasted” Beador was booted from a bar for a “screaming match” with Janssen’s daughter.…

TRAGIC songbird Julie Andrews lost her amazing four-octave voice due to botched throat surgery years ago, but the Mary Poppins legend is doing singalongs on her podcast as she searches for new cures and prays for a miracle, insiders say. “It’s still her dream to sing on stage with an orchestra, but even if that doesn’t happen, she’s content with singalongs in her podcast, voiceovers and other projects possible with her current singing range,” spills an insider. “As difficult as her ordeal was, Julie’s always looked on the brighter side. She’s doing voice therapy and there is hope of a miracle treatment.” Sources say injections, structural implants and vocal cord repositioning are available to the 87-year-old Sound of Music star. “Julie’s not rushing into another surgery right now,” tattles the…

3/10 BLAKE LIVELY The hefty hippy chick must be trying out for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Fat Pants! 8/10 CHRISTINA RICCI The Yellowjackets star is the bee’s knees in a flattering black and white maxi dress 9/10 SARAH JESSICA PARKER The Sex and the City actress is a gem in an emerald green gown with cape-style sleeves 1/10 ELLEN POMPEO The Grey’s Anatomy doc is all wet in a silly car wash skirt and ridiculously oversized blazer 2/10 CHARLIZE THERON How monstrous! A boring tee, bland skirt and clunky sandals add up to one lousy look!…

THE beauty queen wife of ruthless Mexican drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzmán was released from federal custody after serving less than two years in the pen for helping her jailbird hubby run his multibillion-dollar empire! Emma Coronel Aispuro, 34, was handed a three-year sentence in November 2021 after pleading guilty to drug trafficking and money laundering conspiracy charges — but she walked free Sept. 13! The onetime teen pageant princess shares 12-year-old twin daughters with El Chapo, who she wed in 2007. After more than a decade on the lam, the slippery Sinaloa Cartel boss, whose nickname translates as Shorty, was finally locked away for life in a Colorado super max prison in 2019 for his narcotics-fueled reign of terror. But lawmen say the brazen brunette aided her incarcerated…

DANCES with Wolves star Kevin Costner is howling in victory after his money-hungry estranged wife, Christine Baumgartner, folded like a cheap suit and accepted his penny-pinching prenup settlement instead of fruitlessly chasing a $400 million rainbow. Since filing for divorce in May, Christine, 49, mom of the Yellowstone hunk’s three teen kids and his wife of 18 years, has tried to wrangle her way out of the prenup, which limits her to a new home and $1 million cash. But after California Judge Thomas Anderle demolished her demand for a whopping $248,000 a month — or $3 million a year — in child support, whittling it down to just $68Gs a month and ruling she’d have to repay $1 million plus his attorneys’ fees if she challenged the prenup, Christine…

HERE’S the scary skinny on New Jersey reality TV housewife Jackie Goldschneider — she claims to have “tortured” herself for years by trying to starve herself into slenderness! “I was torturing myself,” Jackie, 46, reveals, baring a 20-year battle with anorexia in her memoir The Weight of Beautiful. “Cast trips were the hardest parts of every season because there were so many meals to manage and so many excuses to make,” Jackie writes, dishing she tried to hide her eating disorder from the other ladies on the show. Jackie — who shares four kids with husband Evan — says she has “turned a corner” in recovery and wrote her book “so people can truly understand how terrifying and insidious an eating disorder can be.”…

DISNEY’S live-action The Little Mermaid is making a bundle — more than $500 million worldwide as of early September — after it was nearly sabotaged by early complaints for a reason so stupid it almost defies belief! The idiotic criticism is mired in racism — with buttheads griping star Halle Bailey and her character, Ariel the mermaid, are Black! Believe it or not, even critics in China complain the fishy gal isn’t Caucasian. Aside from the abhorrent racism, there’s an obvious reason the criticism is beyond STUPID: Ariel is a mermaid, a creature no one but drunks has ever seen. Why? Because mermaids — like fairies, elves and unicorns — DON’T EXIST! And since no sober person’s ever seen them and they don’t really exist except in imagination, who says…

PEPSI-Cola was originally called Brad’s Drink but got renamed in 1898 when formula-developing pharmacist Caleb Bradham sold his company. The cola was supposed to cure dyspepsia, the formal term for indigestion. MISSOURI Baptist preacher Rick Morrow resigned from the Stoutland Schools Board of Education in disgrace after proclaiming autism can be “healed” by casting out demonic forces. ONE of your nostrils always works harder than the other to filter the air. The openings switch roles after a few hours. The non-dominant nostril always gets filled with more mucus. BRAS didn’t become popular until World War I when gals entered the workforce to fill manpower shortages. In the 1920s New York debutante Caresse Crosby invented the modern slimline bra by sewing two handkerchiefs together.…

JUST months after a bitter breakup, love-hungry 77-year-old Cher and her toyboy Alexander “AE” Edwards have turned back time and were spied holding hands on a surprise date! The Believe songbird enjoyed din-din with Edwards, 37, and his fellow kiddies — Colombian singer J Balvin, 38, and his model galpal Valentina Ferrer, 30, and rapper Tyga, 33 — at the trendy Beverly Hills eatery Funke late last month. The showbiz legend seemed Moonstruck in an all-black blouse, loose pants and trench coat matching her famous, long-hanging raven locks. Edwards color-coordinated in black pants, coat and heavy work-type boots. The odd couple reportedly broke up five months ago, but gawkers couldn’t tell by the way they held hands, stared at each other and smiled as if sharing a very intimate secret…

DROP-dead gorgeous 5-foot-10 supermodel IRINA SHAYK was spotted sneaking into NFL legend TOM BRADY’s fancy Tribeca pad barely two weeks after enjoying an occasionally topless fun-in-the-sun getaway with baby daddy BRADLEY COOPER! Seems the 37-year-old Russian-born beauty might be stuck between a jock and a hard place! After waiting in the Super Bowl champ’s SUV for roughly 20 minutes, Irina was seen slinking into the 46-year-old QB’s building, where they spent the afternoon behind closed doors! But apparently Tom Terrific — who’s playing the field since divorcing model GISELE BÜNDCHEN — is Irina’s guy on the side! Insiders are buzzing the picture-perfect brunette wouldn’t mind scoring a marriage commitment from bachelor Bradley, 48, and raising their daughter, LEA DE SEINE, 6, under the same roof. Stay tuned ……

DEVASTATED Hugh Jackman pulled the plug on his comatose 27-year marriage after life with actress Deborra-Lee Furness descended into little more than a sexless sham, insiders tell GLOBE! The movie Wolverine, 54, stunned fans by announcing his split with the 67-year-old blonde last month — after years bragging about their supposedly unbreakable bond! But insiders snitch that behind the cheesy façade, things have been frosty in the no-thrills union for the longest time —and it’s that lack of spark that finally tipped them over the edge and into divorce court. “Hugh and Deb would never admit it but the grim reality is that they fizzled out as a couple years ago,” says a source. “It’s been an open secret that they were more tied to each other as business partners…

POP princess Taylor Swift got her big break when George Strait tapped her for the opening act on his 2007 tour, back when the Shake It Off gal was still flying beneath the country banner — and now she’s an inspiration for George to keep on keeping on! While Taylor, 33, has sold out massive stadiums during her record-busting Eras tour, 71-year-old George has shown he’s not chopped liver by packing stadiums himself this year at many of the SAME venues! And it’s given the Amarillo by Morning singer a renewed zest for his career by extending his stadium tour into 2024 in an announcement that surprised even the closest in his inner circle! “George pretty much thought 2023 would be a wrap for him as far as a touring artist,”…