Table of contents for August 12, 2024 in Globe

BUTT OF COURSE! Cheeky singer PARIS JACKSON hightails it from an L.A. recording studio in as-toundingly short shorts THUNDER ROAD Rocker BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN doesn’t let the wet weather rain on his parade in Norway — and plays for three hours! HOW SWILLEGANT! Everything’s coming up rosé for bubbly model CHRISTIE BRINKLEY, who can’t bottle up her enthusiasm for booze! AGAINST THE CLOCK MARTHA STEWART’s wrinkled mitt proves the domestic diva can’t stop the hands of time! DRAWING A BLANK Falling Down’s MICHAEL DOUGLAS is still upright at 79 — but his vacant stare makes it look like no one’s home! THAT BLOWS! Vanderpump Rules hunk JAX TAYLOR spruces up the North Hollywood home he owns with estranged wife Brittany Cartwright — after the feds put a $35,000 tax lien on the…

REALITY queen Kyle Richards is over estranged hubby Mauricio Umansky, but sources say the hottie thinks he’s tacky for parading his new young galpals in public while they’re still hitched! “They’re separated but no paperwork has been finalized and Kyle thinks they should be a lot more discreet out of respect for each other and their kids,” snitches a source. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star and the Buying Beverly Hills super agent, 53, still share a home, but lead separate lives after splitting following 27 years of marriage and daughters Alexia, 27, Sophia, 24, and Portia, 16. Kyle, 55, got her hackles up when her ex was snapped locking lips with 33-year-old Russian actress Nikita Kahn at a Greek airport July 16. “Kyle thinks he should have the decency not…

ARMY vet and outdoors-man Kelly Stolp has been hunting Bigfoot in the United States’ northwestern forests since a terrifying nighttime encounter with the seven-foot-plus monster during a camping trip. The now 45-year-old Montana electrician was enjoying the wilds with his two sons, nephew, Army buddy Mike Palagi and his fiancée Olivia Corbin in Washington state’s Gifford Pinchot National Forest when the monster came sniffing around their camp near an abandoned road amid the peaceful signs and chirps of the thick woods. Suddenly at 3 a.m., Stolp shot wide awake with the hairs standing on the back of his neck from a “high-pitched scream” followed by the thumping sounds of a “heavy-footed” creature. “It sounded like a washboard sound, like a brat-tat-tat, but it was so guttural,” he says. “I don’t…

JUDGE CUFFS SPENDY WIFE A divorce judge has given singer BILLY RAY CYRUS permission to do what tons of hubbies dream of — cutting up his wife’s credit cards. In this case, it’s 62-year-old Billy Ray’s estranged wife, Aussie songbird FIREROSE. At 35, she’s just four years older than his superstar daughter MILEY CYRUS and, according to him, has been acting like a spoiled brat, charging up a whopping $96,000 on cards in just seven months of a stormy marriage. Now, after she’s shattered his Achy Breaky Heart, he’s divorcing the spendthrift and booted her out of their Tennessee love nest where she claims Billy Ray kept her like a prisoner with no car and no friends, which he denies. ROCKER’S LIFE STORY IN LIMBO Imagine working four years on a…

CARLA GUGINO The Spy Kids mom fails to crack the case in a floral midi dress with off-kilter sleeves XOCHITL GOMEZ Dr. Strange’s sidekick is stunning in red — but her shredded top has no fringe benefits CHRISTINA MILIAN Bad snooze for the Call Me, Beep Me! singer — her poufy dress looks like a bed pillow! SERENA WILLIAMS The tennis legend serves a double fault with a dog purse and silly schoolgirl couture PORSCHA COLEMAN Are you kitten me? It’s time for The Parkers show-off to kick kooky catsuits to the curb…

ACCUSED traitor Sue Mi Terry — a former CIA analyst with a taste for the finer things in life — betrayed America’s trust by secretly working as a South Korean spy for more than a decade in exchange for gourmet meals, designer handbags and thousands in dough, according to the feds. A recently unsealed indictment charges Manhattan-based Terry, who was born in Seoul but became a naturalized U.S. citizen, abused her lofty position as foreign policy expert and traded access to officials for perks! Lawmen allege Terry, 54, first fell under the sway of South Korea in 2013 — five years after she left the CIA, where she specialized in East Asian issues. FBI Acting Assistant Director in Charge Christie M. Curtis says over nearly ten years the sneaky stunner…

SHOCKING top secret FBI files tie the late Prince Philip to two of the sex-trap gals involved in England’s devastating 1960s spy scandal — the Profumo Affair! The newly surfaced documents include a bombshell memo written by FBI boss J. Edgar Hoover noting that U.S. businessman Thomas Corbally, who was involved in industrial spying, said there was buzz Queen Elizabeth’s hubby was linked to showgirls Christine Keeler, then 19, and Mandy Rice-Davies, 18, the gals at the heart of England’s notorious spy crisis. “Corbally also stated there was a rumor Prince Philip may have been involved with these two girls,” Hoover wrote. The explosive memo links the playboy prince, who died at age 99 in 2021, to two scandals — one that he was cheating on his wife, the queen,…

CIRCLES singer Post Malone is going country with the record F-1 Trillion. The tattooed hitmaker’s sixth studio album comes just four months after he joined Taylor Swift on the pop superstar’s moody synth ballad Fortnight. The genre-bending hip-hop artist rubs elbows with Nashville’s biggest stars on his new release, which features Blake Shelton on Pour Me a Drink and Morgan Wallen on I Had Some Help. Here are ten things you don’t know about the 29-year-old White Iverson rapper, who was born Austin Richard Post. 1 The musician credits the video game Guitar Hero for sparking his interest in learning the six-string — but adds, “It took a long time, because I used to suck. I was really bad.” 2 He chose Post Malone as his professional handle when he…

PEPPER the potty-mouthed parrot finally has a new home! There was no shortage of takers for the profanity-spewing psittacine — more than 400 pet lovers applied to adopt the white-fronted male amazon with quite a coarse vocabulary after his last owner unloaded him and some parakeets she could no longer care for at the Niagara SPCA. Staffers there were stunned when Pepper turned to one volunteer upon his arrival and demanded in a high, clear, imperious voice: “Do you want me to kick your a**?” “If you think Pepper’s feathers are colorful, you should hear his language,” shelter director Amy Lewis wrote on Facebook, seeking someone to adopt him and pardon his French! People all across the country immediately pounced on making Pepper their pet — and the shelter announced…

POP tart Katy Perry’s supposed to be all about female empowerment with her Woman’s World song, but she’s getting slammed for her close ties to record producer Dr. Luke — who’s been accused of being an evil sex fiend by singer Kesha. Music consultant and Long Island University professor Clayton Durant blasted Perry’s tune, branding the singer a hypocrite, saying: “Promoting a song about modern-day feminism and empowerment becomes counterintuitive when it is associated with someone accused of abusing women [Dr. Luke].” She’s also being slammed as this year’s biggest flop for “generic” music with “no personality.” As GLOBE reported, the Teenage Dream singer has supposedly ended her feud with Taylor Swift but is still reportedly determined to topple her old foe as queen of pop. Still, the critical trashing…

ALEC BALDWIN may have dodged a bullet when the manslaughter case against him in the Rust shooting was tossed out, but reality sad sack Jon Gosselin warns he’ll have a target on his back if he goes through with his plan to trot the Baldwin brood of seven in front of the cameras! “Look at the nuclear fallout that happened to my family,” says Jon, 47, speaking from his experience starring on Jon & Kate Plus 8 with then-wife Kate Gosselin, 49, and their eight kiddies. The family was later torn apart by divorce and bickering. “I’d say don’t do it!” Baldwin, 66, and wife Hilaria, 40, have announced an upcoming TLC show of their own, but Jon laments he “did it for the money” and regrets it.…

PERVY gridiron great Lawrence Taylor is offsides once again! A convicted sex offender, the Giants legend, 65, was arrested for the second time in Florida’s Broward County for failing to report a change of residence. The charges stem from 2011, when the football Hall of Famer pleaded guilty to sexual misconduct and patronizing a 16-year-old prostitute. He was sentenced to six years’ probation and forced to register as a low-risk, level-one sex offender. Taylor’s lawyer insists the situation is “a misunderstanding.”…

NORTH Carolina Little League umpire Robby Beamon was caught on camera brawling with another foul ball, a member of the Cherryville team coaching staff, after he called out the guy for cussing! Both are facing suspension. FOLKS never smiled in old-time photographs because it was too difficult to maintain a grin — without moving — for the 20 minutes it took to expose a daguerreotype plate. THE most common potatoes used for McDonald’s french fries are the Russet Burbank, Ranger Russet, Umatilla Russet and the Shepody. They all fry crispy, but keep the inside soft. ADJUSTED for inflation, the good old days weren’t so grand! Experts say a gallon of gas cost the equivalent of $3.52 in 1952, just four cents less than the current $3.56 national average.…

BITTER ex-wife Amber Heard is reportedly trashing Johnny Depp’s new romance with look-alike model Yulia Vlasova, and insiders say the Aquaman beauty is convinced the love-in is doomed. “Amber pities Yulia. She knows how charming Johnny can be and is always on his best behavior at first,” dishes a source. “But she’s certain that before long this poor woman will face the brunt of his toxic tendencies.” The 61-year-old Pirates of the Caribbean superstar’s new 29-year-old Russian-born galpal is a carbon copy of Amber, 38, say sources. “A lot of her friends have pointed out how much Yulia looks like a younger version of Amber, which is just so creepy,” tattles a tip-ster. “Amber is rolling her eyes at the look-alike factor and finds it pretty telling that he’s chosen…

DOLLY PARTON is being teased by fans for pronouncing words like the late James Bond icon Sean Connery with his thick Scottish accent but insiders tattle the problem is due to her years of obsessive dental work. The humiliated 78-year-old hitmaker was noticeably lisping in a recent video posted to X. She was telling everybody about her recent discovery she had some Welsh ancestry, or “Welsth” as she pronounced the word. Eyebrows were also raised when Dolly appeared to say “ancethstry” instead of ancestry and “sthreaming” instead of streaming. Fickle fans posted this isn’t the first time that people have noticed Dolly having difficulty talking through her pearly whites. “Guess y’all didn’t hear Dolly Parton talk lately. With her new dentures, she lisps really bad. But you guys still talking…

BELOVED comedy legend Bob Newhart went to his grave at age 94 on July 18 secretly wracked by guilt for stealing the act of fellow cutup Shelley Berman — but got the last laugh by becoming far more successful than his rival, sources snitch. “Bob never really thought he did anything wrong. It still stung to have people say he swiped someone’s bit,” an insider squeals. “But Bob’s lasting fame was built on his talent — and that was all him.” Long before the former star was a fixture on America’s TV screens during the 1970s and 1980s with The Bob Newhart Show and Newhart, he was a stand-up sensation. The droll straight man’s early routines had him engage in one-sided telephone conversations with an imaginary party — and those…

Tragic, cancer-stricken actress SHANNEN DOHERTY, 53, got the divorce she desperately wanted from photog KURT ISWARIENKO, 50, AFTER her July 13 death. A judge reportedly finalized her divorce on July 15, sending her estate to probate instead of family law. Top Chef Masters contestant NAOMI POMEROY, 49, drowned in a tubing outing with hubby KYLE LINDEN WEBSTER and a friend on Oregon’s Willamette River on July 13. Sources say tubes and a paddleboard were roped together and Naomi got tangled and pulled under by the current. KIM KARDASHIAN reveals one of her sons with KANYE WEST suffers from the skin-pigment condition vitiligo. “It came from my mom, went to me and I passed it in a different form to my son.” Former All My Children star ESTA TERBLANCHE was found…

MADONNA and her ex-hubby, movie director Guy Ritchie, are worth a combined $1 billion, but their adopted son, David Banda, is crying he has to “scavenge” for food. The 18-year-old wannabe musician recently appeared with his Like a Virgin mom on her hit Celebration Tour, and hasn’t been booted from her megabucks home, yet he bizarrely posts on social media he’s a starving artist shacking up with 21-year-old model galpal Maria Atuesta in the Bronx. “I love it,” he says. “I’m not on my own, I’ve got my girlfriend. But I love it. “It’s lovely to experience it being nine o’clock at night, me being hungry and realizing that I don’t have enough money to get food and scavenging. It’s fun to be young.” Of course, if his empty tummy…

TENNESSEE terror Brandi Elliot callously confessed to drowning her seven-yearold daughter because she wanted time alone after a “rough day,” and if found guilty at trial, the monster mom may pay for the vile crime with her life, lawmen say. According to court documents, Elliot, 33, griped her girl, Piper, wouldn’t leave her be, so she took the child to Drakes Creek Park in Hendersonville and held her under water “like a large-mouth bass” until she was “bubbling!” Authorities claim the cold-hearted killer told Piper to be quiet as the helpless kid flailed in her grip! Police say Elliot finally realized she’d done something horrific after pulling limp Piper out of the shallow water and tried to revive her with CPR. But the youngster was later pronounced dead at a…

REESE WITHERSPOON is said to be considering jumping into cosmetic surgery fixes with the encouragement of pal Jennifer Aniston — but that’s a dangerous game because, as readers know, sometimes it works and sometimes it’s a disaster. Natural beauties like Priscilla Presley, Meg Ryan, Daryl Hannah, Joan Van Ark and matinee idol Mickey Rourke have ended up looking freakish with nip/tucks and Botox gone bad. The late, great comic Joan Rivers was a plastic surgery promoter, bragging about her fixes. She ended up looking like a frozen-faced department store mannequin before her tragic death at age 81 due to a medical blunder. Of course, the most bizarre example of nip/tucks gone bonkers is the wealthy socialite Jocelyn Wildenstein, now 84, who ended up looking like some cross between a puma…